Garland House

Take The 12 Day Prayer Challenge!

2012-02-14T07:47:00.004-05:00

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“Moreover, as for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the Lord by ceasing to pray for you” (1 Sam. 12:23)

It's that time again! Time to do the 12 day prayer challenge - the perfect way to get your prayer life back into shape before the summer months!

How It Works
The challenge is simple – spend 30 minutes in prayer each day for 12 days, using this article as a guide. Keep track of your progress by checking off a box once you’ve prayed for 30 minutes. When 12 boxes are checked – you’ve completed the challenge!

When Do We Start?
You can begin the challenge right away – but the official 12 days of prayer (when you will receive an email reminder each day) is March 1 – 12. Try to have your last box checked no later than March 12, 2012. If you start early you give yourself a bit of cushion just in case you need to miss a day or two during the actual challenge. It is also a good idea to spend the time before March 1st getting acquainted with the instructions and descriptions of the prayer challenge.

SIGN UP! PRIZES!
To take the challenge, just begin! If you want to receive the email reminders each day (starting March 1st) email me and let me know you are taking the challenge. If you complete the challenge and check off at least 12 boxes before March 12, email me again and let me know you completed the challenge. You will be entered into a drawing to receive “Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life” by Don Whitney.

More Directions
The prayer exercise is broken down into 12 different parts, each part based on an element of prayer found in Scripture. You can do all 12 parts in one sitting, or six parts in the morning and six in the evening. Another option is to pray through as many parts as you can get through in thirty minutes. You can of course pray longer than 30 minutes, but the goal is to pray for 30 minutes minimum, each day for twelve days. My personal preference is to do a portion of all 12 parts in the morning, but you are welcome to work through the exercise in whatever way is most helpful to your love relationship with Jesus Christ.

Day #1 Your first day is the most challenging because you are still getting used to how this works. It will help to read through all the explanations for each of the prayer parts at least one time. Once you have done that, you should be able to start the next day with actual praying. You can even pray through the explanations as the Lord leads, as there are many thoughts there that will hopefully spark new conversations with Christ - but reading the explanations at least once before you begin the challenge is highly recommended. It will help you to look up as many of the Bible passages referenced as possible as well, (and as you read them you can pray through them also) so check off any passage you look up, and aim to look them all up before the challenge is over.

New To Prayer?
If you are new to praying, you should feel free to pray the written prayers you will find in this exercise – just remember to keep your heart engaged. Don’t pray anything you don’t mean to say. The only pre-requisite for prayer is that you are in a relationship with God through His Son Jesus Christ. If you have trusted Christ as your Savior, prayer is just a talk with Someone Who loves you. As you add days, you will most likely begin to add your own words and branch off as the Spirit leads. If you hit a wall of any kind, please feel free to email me and I will send you a special email geared to help. One final note of encouragement: Take your time, don’t get frustrated, and give God time to work in your life through this prayer challenge.

Prayer Preparation The best way to do the challenge is to print it off and keep it in your Bible. Find a quiet place to pray (away from the computer!), turn off your phone, and if there is any time left over to prepare, you might find it helpful to read one Psalm out loud. Okay – now that our hearts are prepared – let’s begin!
First – right out a brief prayer to the Lord asking Him to help you complete this prayer challenge…

Okay- let’s start praying!

PART ONE: Desire

Suggested Reading: the prayer of the afflicted one in Psalm 102
I usually start my prayer time by asking the Lord to increase my desire for Him (based on Psalm 37:4). You may also want to ask him for an increased desire to pray, to read God’s Word, to know Him better, to love Him more, to obey Him, to become like Him, to practice the spiritual disciplines, to love others, to have a servant’s heart, etc., recognizing that the desire to pray (or any God-ward desire) is a gift from God Himself. There is nothing in our natural selves that wants God (Romans 3:11, Isaiah 53:6). Even our initial desire to seek Him began with God (John 6:44). It is always refreshing to remember this as we come to Him in prayer – thanking Him for any past desire for Him, and depending on Him for new desire day by day.

YOUR PRAYER MIGHT SOUND LIKE THIS… Dear Lord, thank you so much for giving me the desire to pray. Please help me to desire to pray more. Help me to want to read your Word more and to be interested in the things You care about. Please help me to want to know You better with my mind, love you better with my heart and follow You better with all of my strength. Help me to want to do those things that place me more fully in the streams of your grace – things like praying, reading Your Word, fasting, worship, giving, silence, journaling, memorization, meditation and being thankful. Help me to want to practice these things and to grow in this way. Give me a heart that loves like You do – a heart that loves others more than myself, and a heart that loves You most of all. Amen.

PART TWO: Attitude

Suggested Reading: Prayer of David, Psalm 141
Since my heart is deceptive and sick apart from Christ (Jeremiah 17:9) my attitude in prayer will at times be out of whack, especially if I have not been walking closely with Him. For that reason, it is a good idea to begin prayer by asking the Lord to search my heart (Psalm 139:23-24) and to check for wrong attitudes or motives (James 4:3). It may help to also ask Him for a proper balance between reverent fear (Ps. 19:9; 111:10; 115:13) and childlike dependence (Romans 8:15), to be thankful in prayer (1 Thess. 5:18), to be genuine, vulnerable and exposed to Him (Ps. 38:9; 62:8), to need Him (Ps. 55:22) and depend upon Him (Ps. 59:9; 131:2), to love Him (Ps. 68:19), to speak to Him in faith (Ps. 145:18), believing good things about Him (Is. 30:18), to delight in Him (Ps. 37:4), to be satisfied with Him (Ps. 17:15) and by Him (Ps. 90:14) and to not grow weary in prayer (Ps. 25:15; 26:1).

YOUR PRAYER MIGHT SOUND LIKE THIS… Dear Lord, search my heart and show me if I have any wrong attitudes or motives right now. (PAUSE in silence - looking to God). Please help me to have a right attitude and good motives whenever I pray. Please help me to treat You as holy, and also to treat You as my Father Whom I trust and love. Please grow that balance in my heart Lord. Keep me from interacting with You in ways that are faithless or dishonoring to You in any way. Help me to deepen in my ability to trust You as I speak to You, believing that You are good and that You intend good toward me. Help me to not become weary in prayer, but to enjoy my time alone with You. Help me to not be frustrated with You when you don’t answer my prayers the way I want You to. Build up the Truth in my heart that You are listening to me, that You do care about me and that You have something to say to me every day. Help me to enjoy abiding with You in prayer and use this time to increase my devotion to You. Amen.

PART THREE: Attributes

Suggested Reading: Psalm 66, 145 and Jeremiah 32:16-27
Since I want my focus in prayer to be more of Christ and less of me, I try to spend at least part of my prayer time focusing on Who God is. Sometimes I will just read in His Word until I come across something that tells me something about what God is like. I will stop there and spend time thanking Him for being this way, or I will discuss with Him why I am struggling with a certain way that He is. Below is a list of some of God’s known attributes to get you started. Pick one, then prayerfully search God’s Word for a passage that gives you more information on the attribute you picked. Read the passage aloud to the Lord and then talk with Him about what this attribute means to you.

Some of God’s Attributes to pray about… Solitariness, knowledge, power, strength, foreknowledge, supremacy, sovereignty, immutability, gentleness, holiness, faithfulness, goodness, patience, grace, mercy, love, wrath, independence, jealousy, forgiving, Prison-breaker, Lover of my soul, slow to anger, Creator, Pursuer, Shepherd, Counselor, King, Savior, the One Who hears, the One Who acts, the One with the Plan, the One Who saves, the One Who heals, the One Who searches, Prince of Peace, Alpha and Omega, and many, many more! (for more on God's attributes, click here to be directed to a page by Navigators on praying God's attributes and names)

YOUR PRAYER MIGHT SOUND LIKE THIS (fill in the blank with the attribute you picked)
Dear Lord, thank you that you are _______________. I praise You because You are perfectly like this. This part of Who You are means so much to me for the following reasons: ________________________. As I look into your Word, I have found this verse that speaks about this attribute… (read verse aloud to the Lord.) This verse helps me to understand You more, and it makes me think of the following question or idea __________________________. Please help me to more deeply understand You Lord, even though I am slow and often dull. Help me to grasp how great You truly are. Thank you that You have clearly communicated so many important things about Yourself in Your Word. Help me to seek to know you better and understand you more for Who You truly are (Isaiah 43:10). As I think of this attribute today, help me to be more like you in this way (if possible). Like the moon reflects the Sun, I want to shine brightly for You in this dark world (John 1:5). Remind me of this part of your character all day long today Lord, and use it to draw me closer to Yourself. Amen.

PART FOUR: First Things First

See Habakkuk’s prayer in Habakkuk 3:17-19
Since I’m a selfish person by nature, prayer is the perfect time to put Jesus Christ and His Kingdom back on the throne, in the driver’s seat and in first place in my life! I often have to say to myself: “Kim – Get Over Yourself!” You may find it helpful to read aloud Matthew 6:33 and ask God to help you to seek first His kingdom and His righteousness today. Ask Him to show you what that looks like for you. Ask Him to help you to be looking forward to heaven today and to keep your mind fixed on Jesus all day long.

YOUR PRAYER MIGHT SOUND LIKE THIS… Dear Lord, help me to seek first Your kingdom and Your righteousness all day long. Help me to truly put Your will before my own. Help me to be aware of what Your desire is for me in the small and large things that will come my way today. And help me to keep my eyes on heaven – to truly desire heaven and Jesus more than I desire the things of this world, things for me, myself and I. Free me from a world that revolves around me and what I want and need. Free me from my obsession with myself and help me to keep Jesus in the center of everything I do, say, think and am. Amen.

PART FIVE: Sharing Specific Needs

See Elijah’s prayer: 1 Kings 18:36-37
God commands His children to pray (Matt. 7:7). He has made it clear that some things don’t happen without prayer (Matt. 17:21), and that many times we don’t have things because we don’t pray (James 4:2). Jesus didn’t say “if you pray” but rather “when you pray” (Matt. 6:5), so we know He expects us to pray and bring our requests to Him on a daily basis. And yet even for all this, it is very difficult to regularly bring our requests to Him. Why? I think there are three main reasons…

#1 We forget that prayer is about our relationship with the Father, not just about getting certain requests answered.

It may help to remember that bringing requests to God is not primarily about getting those requests answered, but about growing our love relationship with Him (John 15). Even when the answer is no, sharing our requests with Him is an important part of growing inside that relationship.

#2 We wrongly conclude that since God is sovereign and all powerful, our prayers don’t really matter.

The Bible is full of examples of prayer changing things (see Acts 10, Joshua 10, Isaiah 38 and Job 42 for starters) and yet also clearly teaches that God is sovereign (Psalm 103:19, Is. 46:10, Eph. 1:11, Ps. 115:3). Believing both as we pray is not only in alignment with Scripture, it will help us keep prayer in the right place.

#3 We forget to be focusing on God’s glory.

When prayer becomes all about us, we are either going to be very bored or very discouraged. Prayer with God’s glory in the center is not only a more exciting and fulfilling prayer experience, it increases our humility as we intentionally position ourselves as His servant seeking His glory (1 Peter 3:15).

Once you’ve considered if you are facing any of the above hindrances to bringing your requests to God, pray about any you need help with, and then share your requests with God in prayer remembering Matthew 11:28-30.

YOUR PRAYER MIGHT SOUND LIKE THIS… (Physical needs) Dear Lord, please supply all the things we need today (meals, drink, clothing, shelter, warmth, medicine, health, transportation, safety) and help us to be truly thankful when You do. Specifically I’m wanting to ask You for this particular need we have today: _________. When you do supply us with things, please help us to recognize that You are providing for us, and make us thankful in ways that honor You as our Provider.

(Spiritual needs) Father, please supply our spiritual needs today (faith, hope, love, trust, kindness, blessings, Your Presence, discernment, selflessness, wisdom, self-control, heavenly focus, trust in Christ, focus on Christ, freedom from sin, freedom to obey, patience, understanding, kindness, tenderness, forgiveness, peace, etc.) Specifically I want to ask you for this particular spiritual need I am aware of: ____________. When you do supply this need, please show us that You did and help us to thank You for it.

PART SIX: Confession of Sin and Repentance

Suggested Reading: Ezra and David’s prayers: Ezra 9:5-15 and Psalm 51
As we think about Who God is, we begin to also realize the ways we fall short of His glory. But praise God - His mercies are new every morning (Lam. 3:21-23)! So we are taught to confess our sin on a daily basis (Matt. 6:9-12), repent (turn away) from our sin that we have confessed (1 Peter 3:11) and believe in God’s total forgiveness (1 John 1:9; Ps. 32:5b). Indeed, when we fail to confess our sins in this way, we are risking physical and spiritual disaster (Ps. 32:3, Ps. 66:18). Therefore we should do our best to name our sins and confess and forsake them whenever we are aware of them (1 Cor. 11:31). You may also want to pray for help in having a right understanding of sin, and for the ability to see sin as first and foremost rebellion against God (Ps. 51:4). Pray also for eyes to see how wonderful forgiveness is (how He washes you – Ps. 51:7, takes your sin far away – Ps. 103:12, seals it in a bag – Job 14:17, buries it – Ps. 32:1, treads it underfoot and casts it away – Micah 7:19, wipes it out – Is. 43:25 and puts it in a place where He chooses to not remember it – Is. 38:17 and Heb. 10:17). Thank Him for the awesome gift of forgiveness, and ask for help to cherish that gift all day long today.

YOUR PRAYER MIGHT SOUND LIKE THIS… Forgive me of my sins Lord. Specifically, please forgive me for ____________. Please help me to hate sin the way You do. Help me to see it as rebellion against You. Help me to see my sin in light of what Christ has done for me, and help my heart to break over my unloving ways toward You and toward others. Please lead me away from temptation today Father. Keep me from toying with things that I know lead to rebellion against You. Increase my fear over these things, and especially help me to fear getting involved with anything that might damage my intimacy with You. Thank you for forgiving me Lord. Increase my faith in your forgiveness and heal me from the lie of trying to pay for my sins by making myself feel guilty. Show me how to walk rightly in this costly forgiveness that was made possible only by the shed blood of Jesus Christ. Help me to grasp forgiveness in such a way that I am inspired to obey You today out of the overflow of my thankfulness for what Christ has done for me. Thank you for choosing to forget my past failures and for not looking at me through my sin. Help me to do the same for others in my life as I seek to imitate You Lord. Thank you for forgiving me. I love you Lord. Amen.

PART SEVEN: Forgiveness

Suggested Reading: Matthew 18:15-35, Lev. 19:17-18
As we begin to grasp what forgiveness means in our own lives, we realize that we too must forgive like we have been forgiven. I find it helpful to remember that forgiveness is a decision, and it is also a process. We decide to forgive, and we also choose to stick with that decision day by day, out of our thankfulness to God. It may also help to recall that forgiveness and reconciliation are two totally different things. We are commanded to forgive, but reconciliation is not always possible, even where forgiveness has already occurred. Only Christ can accomplish true forgiveness in our lives, and it is only His forgiveness through us that keeps us from the bitterness, anger, rage and self obsession that always springs from a heart that refuses to forgive on God’s terms. Spend time now seeking Him for strength to forgive in ways that are pleasing to Him and helpful to you.

YOUR PRAYER MIGHT SOUND LIKE THIS… Dear Lord, is there anyone I have not forgiven? Search my heart Lord. Show me anyone or anything I have chosen to not forgive. (PAUSE in silence – looking to God). I give you that hurt right now Lord, because I don’t want it to be in my heart anymore. I don’t want it to work a work of evil in my life – causing me and those I love more pain and hurt. Forgive me for allowing that wrong to stay in my heart, festering like that Lord. Please remove that from my heart and carry that for me Lord – it is too heavy for me to bear any longer. And now show me how to be wise with this person or situation. If the person or people who hurt me do not believe they have, show me what to do about this. Please help me to place this wrong done to me entirely in Your hands. Help me to be ready to extend forgiveness as soon as they ask for it, and help me to be like You in that I never stop hoping for repentance where it is needed. Do you want me to lovingly confront this person or situation Lord (Luke 17:3)? Help me to be brave and give me the right heart attitude, the right opportunity, and the right way to go about it if so. Help me to do all things out of my love for You and my desire to please You. Help me to hope for reconciliation, even though it may not be possible. Give me wisdom Lord (James 1:5)! Help me to do the most loving thing and the most wise thing according to Your Word (Gal. 6:1). If I’m wrong about this person or situation, please show me my error Lord. Help me to look to my own sins before looking for the sins of others (Matt. 7:1-5), but please don’t allow my weakness or past failures to keep me from doing the right thing. If I need the input of a more mature believer, please show me who to talk to and how and when to bring it up. I am willing and wanting to forgive Lord, please help me to do so. Amen.

PART EIGHT: Trusting His Hand

See the Lord’s Prayer in Matthew 6:9-13
Because God’s ways are so different from mine (Isaiah 55:8-9), I often have to pray for help in desiring His will more than I desire my own. You may also want to ask for help to trust Him, even when you don’t understand what He is doing. Ask Him to help you to believe He means to work all these things for good in your life (Romans 8:28). Talk to Him about ways you are having trouble believing this and ask for help with your unbelief. Ask for help to not be anxious (Phil. 4:6), especially as you walk with Him through those times when you do not understand His ways.

YOUR PRAYER MIGHT SOUND LIKE THIS… Dear Lord, help me to want Your will more than I want my own will. Increase my trust in You, so that I can desire what You desire for me and follow you in the day to day workings of my life. Sometimes it’s hard for me to trust You because I don’t always understand what You are doing or why You are leading in a certain direction. I especially am confused about ______________________. Help me to know that no matter what You decide to do, it will be meant for good toward me by You. I give You this thing now Lord, and I want to leave this thing with You so that I don’t worry about it all day long, and so that I can follow You through it, no matter what. Please help me now Lord to truly hand it over to You and to trust You with it. Please set a guard over my mind so that I can know Your peace, even when I don’t understand Your plan. I surrender my will to Your control Lord. Do with my life what seems best to You. I give you my circumstances, my finances, my future, my relationships, my job, my hopes, my dreams and my reputation. Speak to me clearly today Lord, through your Word, your people or directly to me in prayer if there is anything you want me to do in response to Your will for me. Give me eyes to see and ears to hear You as You lead me. Give me strength and wisdom to follow You Lord. Amen.

PART NINE: Scripture Memory

Suggested Reading: Mary’s Prayer: Luke 1:46-55
Memorizing Scripture is such a struggle for most of us, and yet is essential to obeying the Lord (Psalm 119:11). Take some time to share the verse you want to memorize with the Lord and ask for help to continue to memorize His Word in honor of Him.

YOUR PRAYER MIGHT SOUND LIKE THIS… Dear Lord, help me to memorize _______________________. Cause my mind to think of this verse often throughout the day today. Help me to be disciplined in actually trying to commit this verse to memory. Please cause Your Holy Spirit to use this verse in my life in ways that I can testify to. Help me to memorize this and many other verses so that I can call to mind Your Words all day long and thereby be helped in my pursuit of You. Amen.

PART TEN: Protection from evil

Suggested Reading: Ephesians 6:10-18 and Psalm 140
We live in a dark world (Eph. 6:12) and we need God’s protection and guidance in the midst of it (Romans 13:12). Take some time now to speak to the Lord about your need for His protection from evil.

YOUR PRAYER MIGHT SOUND LIKE THIS… Dear Father, please keep evil far from me and protect me from it Lord. Help me to have nothing to do with it. Help me to not look at it, laugh at it, linger around it, take it lightly or allow it into my home, heart or church. Help me to take a strong stand against those things that I KNOW are evil, hurtful and destructive. Help me to believe hell is real, and that real people go into it every day, never to leave again. Help me to avoid doing or saying anything today that might push a person further away from You. Forgive me for not loving my enemies, praying for those who persecute me, trying to snatch some from the fire, even if I get burned (Jude). Help me to love you so much, that it breaks my heart to participate in any form of evil (1 Thess. 5:22). Help me to hate sin, even if it means I miss out, fall behind or am left out of things I’d like to be included in. Help me to see that feeling sorry for myself can lead me into evil. Help me to refuse to listen to the lies of the enemy, and help me not to repeat any lies I have listened to in the past. Please set your angels to guard me today Lord, and to guard and protect all of my loved ones. Please be our Defender (Psalm 5:11), our Brush Breaker (Micah 2:13), our Dread Champion (Jeremiah 20:11), our Shepherd (Psalm 23) and our King (Psalm 44:4). Please go before me (Deut. 31:8), behind me (Isaiah 52:12), beside me (Psalm 23:4) and help me to know that you will never leave me (Hebrews 13:5) nor fail me (Deut. 31:6). Give me the ability to live this day like I believe these things about You Lord. Amen.

PART ELEVEN: Thanksgiving

Suggested Reading: Hannah’s prayer: 1 Samuel 2
Isn’t it amazing how unthankful we can be – even in the land of plenty? When our family went to Disney World just a couple years ago, it astonished us to find so many people who were definitely NOT having a magical day. It might help you to take the thankfulness quiz to find out where you are in terms of thankfulness. Being thankful is not automatic – it is a work of the Holy Spirit in our lives. Take time now to be thankful in prayer, but also to seek the Lord to grow in your thankfulness to Him.

YOUR PRAYER MIGHT SOUND LIKE THIS… Dear Father, please show me new things to be thankful for (PAUSE in silence – looking to God). There are so many things to thank you for! Please forgive me for all the times You have provided for me and I have not thanked You or acknowledged things as coming from You. Thank you for your mercy toward me at times like that Lord, and your grace to continue to provide and care for me, despite my thanklessness. You are great and greatly to be praised! Thank you Lord. Thank you for giving me this prayer time and for causing me to get this far in the exercise. I also want to thank you for the following things you brought to my mind as I paused to consider all that you have done for me _________________. Please grow me in thankfulness Lord and help me to overflow with thanksgiving to You on a daily basis. Amen

PART TWELVE: PRAISE

To end your time of prayer, spend time praising Him. You can read a Psalm of praise to Him, or you could write a letter or a poem or sing your own song of praise to God.

“Be exalted above the heavens, O God; Let Your glory be above all the earth.” (Ps. 57:11)

Amen.
Scripture quotations taken from the New American Standard Bible®,Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973,1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation Used by permission."

Desiring the Kingdom Book Review

2011-12-09T07:34:00.011-05:00

Desiring the Kingdom by James K. A. Smith is a philosophical book that seeks to explore and explicate ideas connected to personhood, culture and worship. Smith describes it best when he calls it a “theology of culture” (35), connecting “worship and worldview” (13) while also persuading readers to formulate a “vision of what authentic, integral Christian learning looks like” (11). Smith obviously enjoys the pursuit, carrying us along on a refreshing thought journey that challenges us to first observe and then reform the ways in which we view and experience ourselves, the world around us, the church and virtually everything we know and love.

The book is rooted in philosophy more than doctrine and should be read as such. Leading evangelicals have critiqued it as being primarily a “philosophical anthropology” (Kyle Strobel) that at times goes “off track” (Kevin DeYoung). But for me the book expanded my thinking in ways that were refreshing and helpful. I must admit that this book would have never made it to my reading shelf were it not required for my coursework. Still, I am so thankful for the experience and wanted to share it with others who may benefit from guidance in evaluating and formulating philosophical foundations for radically Spirit-dependent and life-transforming ministry efforts in today’s confusing culture.

I was first struck by Smith’s call to view “education as formation” (31) rather than just an exercise in expanding head knowledge. According to Smith, people are not primarily “thinkers” nor “believers” but rather “worshippers” and a failure to recognize this will prove fatal to any ministry effort seeking to succeed on God’s terms. Smith wants us to consider people as “embodied souls” rather than “encased brains” – a transition he believes we have not yet made as protestant evangelicals.

Smith’s concept of the “social imaginary” and the ways in which it impacts everything we believe and desire is especially intriguing. The “social imaginary” (according to Smith) is “not how we think about the world, but how we imagine the world before we ever think about it” (66). This concept is extremely helpful, especially in considering ways in which well-intentioned believers fall into serious doctrinal and practical error. It also serves to keep us humble as we pursue truth, always remembering that all of us have a social imaginary, and none of us can see our own. At times I think he goes too far with the concept, but overall it is an extremely helpful way to understand how our surroundings and our history can impact belief and practice.

Smith makes some provocative statements in the book. At one point he says “I suggest on one level, Victoria’s Secret is right where the church has been wrong” (76). For Smith, this is just another way of saying that the church is failing to get at the root issue of “desire” by neglecting to view persons as they really are (worshippers). His point is one worth pondering deeply. “While secular liturgies are after our hearts through our bodies, the church thinks it only has to get into our heads” (127). So the question remains – how do we (as a church) go after hearts through bodies in ways that transform desire for Kingdom purposes? This is ultimately the question I think Smith wants us (as the church) to be asking. Smith also wants to know things like: “What if we didn’t see passion and desire…as the problem, but rather sought to redirect it?” (77)

There were several elements of the book that left me wishing for more. For example, Smith shares what he believes to be an outline of a more well-rounded worship experience, but he fails to explain what an “embodied soul” does to transform desire for the Kingdom on a daily basis. Still, I am reminded this is volume one of a three part series, so perhaps he will more sufficiently answer that question in the volumes to follow.

I could go on to describe the helpfulness of his definition of “Sacramental imagination” (146), or the comfort I found in his description of believers as a “stretched people, citizens of a kingdom that is both older and newer than anything offered by ‘the contemporary’” (159). But rather than that, I will close with the inspiration I found in his encouragement regarding our worship practices. Smith said that “The rather mundane fact that people show up is, however, an indicator of something fundamental: that a people has gathered in response to a call” (160). What a wonderful (and life changing) reminder this was for me. In a day when desires for the wrong things (even in worship) seem to be on the rise, it is so important to be reminded that God is “on the move” and no matter how consumerist, two-dimensional and even thoughtless we become as His followers, we are unable to obliterate what He intends to accomplish. This thought is rooted in God Himself “Declaring the end from the beginning, and from ancient times things which have not been done, Saying, ‘My purpose will be established, and I will accomplish all My good pleasure’” (Isaiah 46:10).

One Thousand Gifts Journal Club!

2011-11-07T07:00:00.008-05:00

Not too long ago I wrote a book review about a life changing book called One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. The review appeared here on my blog, and also on the West Shore website. Several people (men and women) mentioned to me how much the book meant to them, and their responses thrilled my soul. I wanted you to hear from at least one of them: Brenda V.…

“I recently finished One Thousand Gifts. Although it had been sitting in my Kindle account for several months, it was Kim’s commentary that prompted me to finally read it and I truly can't thank her enough! This book has had the most profound effect on me - more than any other book aside from the Bible. So many things have changed - how I see the world around me, how I react to events & circumstances in my life, how much more at peace I feel, how much more I feel the presence of my Lord & Savior in my life! My life is forever changed. So....thank you! "Eucharisteo always precedes the miracle!" -Brenda V.

Isn’t that exciting? Thanks so much Brenda for taking the time to share. Want to experience this book with others? You can join the One Thousand Gifts Journal Club during this month (November 2011)! The Journal Club is open to men and women alike – all you need to do is purchase a copy of the book and a blank journal, and start writing down your own list of at least one thousand ways God has blessed you, a few every day, just like Ann does in her book. Please email me (Kim Winters) to let me know you are joining the Journal Club! If there are enough interested, we may keep in touch through emailing and/or at least one get together for our local participants – doesn’t that sound grand? Hope you can join us! Love in Christ, Kim

Want to know more - here is the original article about the book - enjoy!

The following article was previously published on this blog, posted here to give you background information on the book in case you want to join the journal club!

Most of us struggle to believe we are loved by God. We can believe it for the person sitting next to us, we can even believe it for our enemies, but to believe it for ourselves? Next to impossible. Oh sure we can believe He loves us in a kind of far off and slightly detached kind of way - but to believe that He is personally, actively, intimately and unrelentingly pouring love into our lives on a moment by moment basis? That kind of thing is unheard of.  Thankfully this book helps change all that.

One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp is based on a challenge the author received to write down one thousand blessings from God…

“She dares me, and I don’t even blink. Could I write a list of a thousand things I love? I read her line again…to name one thousand blessings – one thousand gifts – is that what she means? Sure, whatever….

1. Morning shadows across the old floors
2. Jam piled high on toast
3. Cry of blue jay from high in the spruce”

What begins as a half-hearted attempt to prove her own thankfulness becomes a way of life for Ann, a way of life we are enticed to share. As she observes and records the love of God being lavished upon her personally, we too are inspired to open our eyes and see the world in a new way…

“One lone stem of wheat bows its head before me…I reach out my hand, run my finger up its silk slender shank. This is how. I learn to say thank you from a laid-low head of wheat… I pay tribute to God by paying attention.”

After reaching her thousandth gift in chapter 5 she has a revelation…

“The pursuit! The bloom had trumpeted for weeks. Was it all over now? …Or was this now only the beginning of really becoming? …But awakening joy awakens to pain.”

When she began the challenge, Ann was sinking beneath a burden of unprocessed trauma and unsatisfied desire. The journey of being intentionally thankful was bringing to the surface the stifled pain of her past, and yet turning it and churning it into something unexpectedly beautiful. With each new blessing recorded we watch her move from “forgotten and forsaken” to “beloved and blood-bought” – a journey we are spurred on to take for ourselves, encouraged onward with each page of her insightful commentary...

"Giving thanks awakens me to a God giving Himself...God giving Himself to me – for me – a surrender of love... He chooses His children to fully live! Fully live the fullest life, the astonished gratitude, the awed joy, the flying and the free…In a thousand ways He woos. In a thousand ways I fall in love."

My favorite chapter in the book is called “Go Lower” where Ann shares the discovery that finding deep joy has to do with embracing humility in ways never before attempted…

"The humble live surprised. The humble live by joy…To receive God’s gifts, to live exalted and joy filled, isn’t a function of straining higher, harder, doing more, carrying long burdens of the super-Pharisees or ultra saints. Receiving God’s gifts is a gentle, simple movement of stooping lower.”

I struggle to know for sure why this book is so powerful. Is it the unique way that she writes? Although I came to love it, her poetic style was a barrier for me at first. Is it the way she is painfully transparent on every page? This too is a blessing, and yet can definitely make you cringe. Is it her deep insight into the ways motherhood and life in general draw us away from our intimacy with Christ? Is it her unswerving love for His Word or the awesome men and women she quotes? I think it is all of the above, and yet it is something more as well.

I believe the deep value of this book lies in the way it is so experiential. It's unlike any other book I’ve ever read - it's organic and tangible, inviting me into every page – inspiring me to walk alongside her and move, really move, to a different place in my love relationship with Christ. It is as if she is telling her story, but simultaneously asking me to tell mine – to live mine as she lives hers. This is what grabbed me from the very beginning and held me to the final page.  An example is a time when Ann has had a personal failure and I can hear my own voice in her thoughts...

"I gnaw my lip. The body howls when joy is extinguished…The glass lies everywhere broken. But this isn’t about this glass but old glass, about glass to God, about glass to my life as a whole. I see right through to what I am. Only self can kill joy. I’m the one doing this to me."

With each new chapter we are given another chance to learn as she learns, receive what she is receiving and discover what she is discovering. This is not a book you read, it is a book you live!

And for those of you who are not yet sure you want to "experience" a book in this way - you are in luck! Ann has made chapter one available free of charge on her website: http://www.onethousandgifts.com/  I challenge you to go to that website, look around (get your kleenex first!) and read chapter one all the way through.  If you are touched by the book the way I was, get your own copy, read it cover to cover, and then come back here to join me (and friends) this November (2011) to begin our own list of one thousand gifts! Check back in late October to find out more, or email me now to let me know you’d like to be added to the growing list of people taking the life transforming challenge of recording their own One Thousand Gifts. Blessings!

Redeeming Your Gospel Culture

2011-10-18T06:19:00.004-04:00

NOTE: The following post first appeared on the website Classical U as a result of a program I created by this same title (Redeeming Your Gospel Culture) for a local Christian school that I love - Covenant Christian Academy.  The program is conducted primarily in all school assemblies, with optional small group follow up.  Thanks for reading and for praying as I seek to bring this program to as many schools as will have me!

Redeeming Your Gospel Culture
So you go to a “Christian” school (or work at one, or send your kids to one) – so what? What makes your school any different from a secular school? Is it the curriculum? Is it the dress code? Is it the classical education model? Deep down we know it is something else, something less tangible and more powerful – something I call “Gospel Culture.”

Defining Gospel Culture
Gospel Culture is the social environment of your Christian community and the way in which that social environment reflects (or fails to reflect) the character of Jesus Christ. It is the way the people within the walls of your school (or church, or home) respond to one another and then grow or decline spiritually, emotionally, physically and mentally. The health (or lack thereof) of your Gospel Culture directly impacts how people feel about your school, and it is directly related to the quality of teachers and students you are able to attract and maintain. More importantly, Gospel Culture has an eternal impact (for good or evil) on every person who comes into contact with the school, effectively moving them closer to or further from Jesus Christ. Something this important deserves our attention don’t you think? So how healthy is the Gospel Culture of your Christian environment?

Assessing Gospel Culture
Addressing Gospel Culture begins by assessing it. You can start by asking the following questions…

1.   Do the people in my school experience the kind of freedom spoken of in 2 Cor.3:17?

2.   Is my school environment the kind of reward described in Matthew 19:29?

3.   When a person in my school makes a mistake, are they the first to find out about it (Matthew 18:15-17)?

4.   Is encouragement, affirmation and intercession regularly seen in our hallways?

5.   Is the absent person protected in all conversations?

6.   Are Christ-like character traits (like perseverance) esteemed more highly than good looks,athleticism or intellectual prowess?

7.   Is humility rewarded and pride considered equivalent with foolishness?

8.   Are heart issues addressed over and above behavior?

9.   Are things like gossip and flirting understood as detrimental to joy?

10. Is my school a place of safety where “masks” are not necessary for survival?

Take Heart! As we address Gospel Culture, it is important to remember that what God expects of us He also enables us to accomplish (2 Cor. 12:9). There is much work to be done, but I praise God that it can be done in His power, by His means and for His glory. Will you pray about addressing the Gospel Culture of your school today?

About the Author: Kim Winters is a speaker, writer, pastor’s wife and mom of two kids in a Christian school. To speak to Kim about deepening the Gospel Culture of your Christian environment, email her at garlandhouse1@verizon.net or visit her blog at www.garlandhouse.blogspot.com

Tapawingo Prayer Challenge Winner!

2011-09-09T07:11:00.000-04:00

Recently I had the joy of leading the staff at Camp Tapawingo through my Prayer Challenge! Anyone on staff who completed the challenge was entered into a drawing for a free book from me. The winner of the Tapawingo Prayer Challenge was Miss Heather Trapp (pictured above). Here is what Heather had to say about the challenge…

“The prayer challenge was a refreshing exercise that I enjoyed very much. It was helpful to refocus on praying for an extended amount of time each day with a specific topic in mind. I can't think of a better way to prepare for my experience as a camp counselor this summer.”

Heather will be receiving the book “The Hiding Place” by Corrie ten Boom. Thanks to Miss Heather, and to all the Tapawingo staff (especially their Director – Miss Joy) for taking the Prayer Challenge! Keep in touch. Love always, Miss Kim

P.S. Do you want to take the Prayer Challenge? Email me today and I will sign you up to take the next Prayer Challenge (open to all men and women) which begins January 1st of 2012. Start 2012 out right with 12 days of prayer! Blessings.

Book Review: Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life by Donald Whitney

2011-06-28T21:10:00.020-04:00

“Ours in an undisciplined age. The old disciplines are breaking down....Above all, the discipline of divine grace is derided as legalism or is entirely unknown to a generation that is largely illiterate in the Scriptures. We need the rugged strength of Christian character that can come only from discipline.”
- V. Raymond Edman

Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life by Don Whitney is one of those books every Christian should read. Based on 1 Timothy 4:7 which says “Discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness,” this book serves as your guide to growing in your understanding and experience of the spiritual disciplines of Bible intake, prayer, worship, evangelism, serving, stewardship, fasting, silence, solitude, journaling and learning.

Whitney does an excellent job of balancing conviction and grace, all the while inspiring us to press on in our actual experience of each spiritual discipline he outlines. Each chapter makes it clear that these disciplines are not ends in themselves, but rather the ways (or paths) to a deeper walk with God that He Himself made possible through Jesus Christ. This “gospel” way of viewing the disciplines is not only refreshing, it’s life changing.

Whitney urges his readers to press on in their pursuit of godliness and explains how the spiritual disciplines are an essential element of that pursuit. "Godly people are disciplined people." Whitney says, "it has always been so." He further inspires us to take this topic seriously when he reminds us that Jesus Himself expects us to be disciplined…

“The expectation of disciplined spirituality is implied in Jesus’ offer of Matthew 11:29: ‘Take my yoke upon you and learn from me.’ …To be a disciple of Jesus means, at the very least, to learn from and follow Him. Learning and following involve discipline” (page 18)

Many people avoid books about the spiritual disciplines because they are afraid of losing what they perceive to be their “freedom in Christ.” Whitney helps us understand that a regular practice of the spiritual disciplines does not reduce freedom, but rather expands it. This point is illustrated by two quotes, the first by Elton Trueblood…

"The one who would be an athlete, but who is unwilling to discipline his body by regular exercise...is not free to excel on the field or the track...Discipline is the price of freedom."

And in the same vein, the second quote by Elisabeth Elliot...

“Freedom and discipline have come to be regarded as mutually exclusive, when in fact freedom is not at all the opposite, but the final reward, of discipline.”

Indeed this book is full of quotes and excerpts from ancient and current-day heroes of the faith, each quote further inspiring you to consider the ancient path of the spiritual disciplines, and to walk in it. (Jeremiah 6:16).

My favorite chapter in this book is the chapter on prayer. Here Whitney breaks down the common barriers to prayer while cutting a path for us to a deeper, more enjoyable prayer life. His insights on how meditation can impact our time alone with God are simple yet revolutionary. His explanations about the various types of prayer are an excellent resource, especially for people new to the faith. I especially love the section that reminds us that ‘prayer is answered’ and that, as C.H. Spurgeon says ‘Where God leads you to pray, He means you to receive.’”

This book is an invaluable resource for believers of all maturity and commitment levels. Even unsaved people will find this to be a helpful explanation of the nuts and bolts of the Christian faith. The book is an especially powerful discipleship tool, and for that reason I want to close this review with a challenge: Purchase two copies today and pray that the Lord would lead you to find someone younger in the faith who will meet with you to read and discuss a new chapter each week. With just thirteen chapters, you can be finished in just over three months! Your walk with Jesus will never be the same! Enjoy!

P.S. One of the reasons I love this book is because Don Whitney was my pastor for several years! He is the real deal - he dedicated Joseph when we lived in Chicago! Please visit his website by clicking here for more information on Don and the other awesome books he has written!

The Fear Factor by Wayne & Joshua Mack

2011-04-09T10:39:00.004-04:00

Not all fear is bad, which is why dealing with sinful fear is so difficult. Just like dealing with sinful eating – we can’t just cut it out of our lives entirely. That’s why this study is so necessary. It helps us identify and break with sinful fear while at the same time develop and nurture the kind of healthy fear we need.

Sinful fear really stems from taking a position in life that belongs to God. Whether it is having ourselves in the center of our universe (where Christ belongs) or seeking to control the things only God can control (like what people think of us for example), the fear that results is spiritually, emotionally and even physically harmful.

I am currently doing this study with the women in SixTen, and even though this is my third time through the material, everything feels very fresh and relevant. Each chapter I read I think to myself: “I should do this study every six months.” That’s because the content just never gets old – we can always use help in dealing with sinful fear.

The main premise of the book is that those who have a healthy fear of God are much less likely to have a sinful fear of anything else. Authors Wayne and Joshua Mack build on this premise by establishing the worthiness of Christ while simultaneously identifying the consequences of sinful fear. In this way you are motivated to move forward in your battle against sinful fear on two fronts: your desire to love Christ more (especially as you more deeply understand how worthy He is) and your desire to stop experiencing the harmful consequences of sinful fear.

People who struggle with fear are used to failing in the struggle and winding up worse off than when they started. Something I love about this study is how committed it is to helping the reader avoid another failure. Each chapter packs a powerful punch (make no mistake!) but each chapter also encourages, affirms and seeks to give hope. Both in tone and layout this study reflects the character of Christ and the gentle ways He shepherds His lambs who have been bruised and beaten by fear.

I hope you’ll consider doing this study with a group of your own! If you do, please let me know so that I can share with you a couple hands on activities I’ve found to be a helpful addition to a couple of the lessons. Don’t let fear keep you from leading this study! You won’t be sorry. Blessings!

Prayer Challenge Winners!

2011-03-13T14:52:00.008-04:00

Congratulations to Jayne (left) and Grace (right) whose names were drawn out of all those who finished the prayer challenge! Jayne won the drawing for a set of books on prayer, and Grace won the book by Paul Miller called the Praying Life.   Congratulations to our winners, and to the 32 people who participated in this prayer challenge. I asked Jayne and Grace to share their feedback on the prayer challenge experience - here is what they said...

From Jayne..."I liked the prayer challenge because it helped me to focus more on being in God's presence throughout the day and spending time talking with Him. I was more conscious of praying and it was encouraging to know that others were praying along with me. The scriptures were an important part of the prayer time and kept me focused on who God is and on what He says about prayer. I also liked the 12 parts of prayer because they reminded me of the many different aspects of prayer and ways we can talk with God--praise, thanksgiving, confession, intercession, etc."

From Grace..."For me the prayer challenge was wonderful because I got a chance to 'fellowship’ with the other believers doing the prayer challenge. God is showing me more and more how important prayer is, and how much MORE important HE is! One of the other prayer challenge participants suggested a link that helped with praying through the attributes of God - and I found that very helpful - thank you so much for that suggestion! (Click here for that link if you are interested).  Praying through His attributes has helped me through many difficult times - and also helps me to get back to sleep at night! The prayer challenge is one of those things that can help you through the journey of this life - and I am very thankful for that kind of help!"

Thanks again Jayne and Grace, and thanks to all of you who participated! If you missed this prayer challenge, we will be doing it again next year at the same time. Or you can feel free to take the challenge "unofficially" by setting your own start and end date and getting a partner to go through it with you. I am also conducting this prayer challenge for groups of staff members, so if you would like me to do that for a group of yours, just shoot me an email and I am happy to do that!  Blessings to you all as you press on in prayer.

Love in Christ,
Kim

Take The Prayer Challenge!

2011-02-05T12:16:00.009-05:00

           
“Moreover, as for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the Lord by ceasing to pray for you” (1 Sam. 12:23)

This year’s Desiring God Pastors Conference was on prayer. In response to that awesome event, I thought it might be fun to do a prayer challenge together!

How It Works
The challenge is simple – spend 30 minutes in prayer each day for 12 days, using this article as a guide. Keep track of your progress by checking off a box once you’ve prayed for 30 minutes. When 12 boxes are checked – you’ve completed the challenge!

When Do We Start?
The challenge will start on the perfect day to get serious about your love relationship with Jesus Christ – February 14th, 2011. You must have your twelfth box checked no later than February 28, 2011. That gives you three extra days to “miss” without failing the challenge.

SIGN UP! PRIZES!
To take the challenge, send me (Kim Winters) an email by February 13, 2011. Everyone who signs up will get a prayer challenge email reminder each day from February 14 – 25th. If you complete the challenge - email me your name and it will be entered into a drawing to win Paul Miller’s new book – A Praying Life. If you complete the challenge AND look up all the verses, you will also be entered into a drawing to win a pack of three books on prayer.

More Directions
The prayer exercise is broken down into 12 different parts, each part based on an element of prayer found in Scripture. You can do all 12 parts in one sitting, or six parts in the morning and six in the evening. Another option is to pray through as many parts as you can get through in thirty minutes. You can of course pray longer than 30 minutes, but the goal is to pray for 30 minutes minimum, each day for twelve days. My personal preference is to do all 12 parts in the morning, but you are welcome to work through the exercise in whatever way is most helpful to your love relationship with Jesus Christ.

Day #1
Your first day is the most challenging because you must read through all the explanations for each of the prayer parts. Once you have done that, you should be able to start day two right away with praying. You can even pray through the explanations as the Lord leads, as there are many thoughts there that will hopefully spark new conversations with Christ. It will help you to look up as many of the Bible passages referenced as possible as well, so check off any passage you look up, and aim to look them all up before the challenge is over.

New To Prayer?
If you are new to praying, you should feel free to pray the written prayers you will find in this exercise – just remember to keep your heart engaged. Don’t pray anything you don’t mean to say. The only pre-requisite for prayer is that you are in a relationship with God through His Son Jesus Christ. If you have trusted Christ as your Savior, prayer is just a talk with Someone Who loves you. As you add days, you will most likely begin to add your own words and branch off as the Spirit leads. If you hit a wall of any kind, please feel free to email me and I will send you a special email geared to help. One final note of encouragement: Take your time, don’t get frustrated, and give God time to work in your life through this prayer challenge.

Prayer Preparation
The best way to do the challenge is to print it off and keep it in your Bible. Find a quiet place to pray (away from the computer!), turn off your phone, and if there is any time left over to prepare, you might find it helpful to read one Psalm out loud. Okay – now that our hearts are prepared – let’s begin!

PART ONE: Desire
Suggested Reading: the prayer of the afflicted one in Psalm 102
I usually start my prayer time by asking the Lord to increase my desire for Him (based on Psalm 37:4). You may also want to ask him for an increased desire to pray, to read God’s Word, to know Him better, to love Him more, to obey Him, to become like Him, to practice the spiritual disciplines, to love others, to have a servant’s heart, etc., recognizing that the desire to pray (or any God-ward desire) is a gift from God Himself. There is nothing in our natural selves that wants God (Romans 3:11, Isaiah 53:6). Even our initial desire to seek Him began with God (John 6:44). It is always refreshing to remember this as we come to Him in prayer – thanking Him for any past desire for Him, and depending on Him for new desire day by day.

YOUR PRAYER MIGHT SOUND LIKE THIS…
Dear Lord, thank you so much for giving me the desire to pray. Please help me to desire to pray more. Help me to want to read your Word more and to be interested in the things You care about. Please help me to want to know You better with my mind, love you better with my heart and follow You better with all of my strength. Help me to want to do those things that place me more fully in the streams of your grace – things like praying, reading Your Word, fasting, worship, giving, silence, journaling, memorization, meditation and being thankful. Help me to want to practice these things and to grow in this way. Give me a heart that loves like You do – a heart that loves others more than myself, and a heart that loves You most of all. Amen.

PART TWO: Attitude
Suggested Reading: Prayer of David, Psalm 141Since my heart is deceptive and sick apart from Christ (Jeremiah 17:9) my attitude in prayer will at times be out of whack, especially if I have not been walking closely with Him. For that reason, it is a good idea to begin prayer by asking the Lord to search my heart (Psalm 139:23-24) and to check for wrong attitudes or motives (James 4:3). It may help to also ask Him for a proper balance between reverent fear (Ps. 19:9; 111:10; 115:13) and childlike dependence (Romans 8:15), to be thankful in prayer (1 Thess. 5:18), to be genuine, vulnerable and exposed to Him (Ps. 38:9; 62:8), to need Him (Ps. 55:22) and depend upon Him (Ps. 59:9; 131:2), to love Him (Ps. 68:19), to speak to Him in faith (Ps. 145:18), believing good things about Him (Is. 30:18), to delight in Him (Ps. 37:4), to be satisfied with Him (Ps. 17:15) and by Him (Ps. 90:14) and to not grow weary in prayer (Ps. 25:15; 26:1).

YOUR PRAYER MIGHT SOUND LIKE THIS…
Dear Lord, search my heart and show me if I have any wrong attitudes or motives right now. (PAUSE in silence - looking to God). Please help me to have a right attitude and good motives whenever I pray. Please help me to treat You as holy, and also to treat You as my Father Whom I trust and love. Please grow that balance in my heart Lord. Keep me from interacting with You in ways that are faithless or dishonoring to You in any way. Help me to deepen in my ability to trust You as I speak to You, believing that You are good and that You intend good toward me. Help me to not become weary in prayer, but to enjoy my time alone with You. Help me to not be frustrated with You when you don’t answer my prayers the way I want You to. Build up the Truth in my heart that You are listening to me, that You do care about me and that You have something to say to me every day. Help me to enjoy abiding with You in prayer and use this time to increase my devotion to You. Amen.

PART THREE: Attributes
Suggested Reading: Psalm 66, 145 and Jeremiah 32:16-27
Since I want my focus in prayer to be more of Christ and less of me, I try to spend at least part of my prayer time focusing on Who God is. Sometimes I will just read in His Word until I come across something that tells me something about what God is like. I will stop there and spend time thanking Him for being this way, or I will discuss with Him why I am struggling with a certain way that He is. Below is a list of some of God’s known attributes to get you started. Pick one, then prayerfully search God’s Word for a passage that gives you more information on the attribute you picked. Read the passage aloud to the Lord and then talk with Him about what this attribute means to you.

Some of God’s Attributes to pray about…
Solitariness, knowledge, power, strength, foreknowledge, supremacy, sovereignty, immutability, gentleness, holiness, faithfulness, goodness, patience, grace, mercy, love, wrath, independence, jealousy, forgiving, Prison-breaker, Lover of my soul, slow to anger, Creator, Pursuer, Shepherd, Counselor, King, Savior, the One Who hears, the One Who acts, the One with the Plan, the One Who saves, the One Who heals, the One Who searches, Prince of Peace, Alpha and Omega, and many, many more!

YOUR PRAYER MIGHT SOUND LIKE THIS (fill in the blank with the attribute you picked)
Dear Lord, thank you that you are _______________. I praise You because You are perfectly like this. This part of Who You are means so much to me for the following reasons: ________________________. As I look into your Word, I have found this verse that speaks about this attribute… (read verse aloud to the Lord.) This verse helps me to understand You more, and it makes me think of the following question or idea __________________________. Please help me to more deeply understand You Lord, even though I am slow and often dull. Help me to grasp how great You truly are. Thank you that You have clearly communicated so many important things about Yourself in Your Word. Help me to seek to know you better and understand you more for Who You truly are (Isaiah 43:10). As I think of this attribute today, help me to be more like you in this way (if possible). Like the moon reflects the Sun, I want to shine brightly for You in this dark world (John 1:5). Remind me of this part of your character all day long today Lord, and use it to draw me closer to Yourself. Amen.

PART FOUR: First Things First
See Habakkuk’s prayer in Habakkuk 3:17-19
Since I’m a selfish person by nature, prayer is the perfect time to put Jesus Christ and His Kingdom back on the throne, in the driver’s seat and in first place in my life! I often have to say to myself: “Kim – Get Over Yourself!” You may find it helpful to read aloud Matthew 6:33 and ask God to help you to seek first His kingdom and His righteousness today. Ask Him to show you what that looks like for you. Ask Him to help you to be looking forward to heaven today and to keep your mind fixed on Jesus all day long.

YOUR PRAYER MIGHT SOUND LIKE THIS…
Dear Lord, help me to seek first Your kingdom and Your righteousness all day long. Help me to truly put Your will before my own. Help me to be aware of what Your desire is for me in the small and large things that will come my way today. And help me to keep my eyes on heaven – to truly desire heaven and Jesus more than I desire the things of this world, things for me, myself and I. Free me from a world that revolves around me and what I want and need. Free me from my obsession with myself and help me to keep Jesus in the center of everything I do, say, think and am. Amen.

PART FIVE: Sharing Specific Needs
See Elijah’s prayer: 1 Kings 18:36-37
God commands His children to pray (Matt. 7:7). He has made it clear that some things don’t happen without prayer (Matt. 17:21), and that many times we don’t have things because we don’t pray (James 4:2). Jesus didn’t say “if you pray” but rather “when you pray” (Matt. 6:5), so we know He expects us to pray and bring our requests to Him on a daily basis. And yet even for all this, it is very difficult to regularly bring our requests to Him. Why? I think there are three main reasons…

#1 We forget that prayer is about our relationship with the Father, not just about getting certain requests answered.

It may help to remember that bringing requests to God is not primarily about getting those requests answered, but about growing our love relationship with Him (John 15). Even when the answer is no, sharing our requests with Him is an important part of growing inside that relationship.

#2 We wrongly conclude that since God is sovereign and all powerful, our prayers don’t really matter.
The Bible is full of examples of prayer changing things (see Acts 10, Joshua 10, Isaiah 38 and Job 42 for starters) and yet also clearly teaches that God is sovereign (Psalm 103:19, Is. 46:10, Eph. 1:11, Ps. 115:3). Believing both as we pray is not only in alignment with Scripture, it will help us keep prayer in the right place.

#3 We forget to be focusing on God’s glory.

When prayer becomes all about us, we are either going to be very bored or very discouraged. Prayer with God’s glory in the center is not only a more exciting and fulfilling prayer experience, it increases our humility as we intentionally position ourselves as His servant seeking His glory (1 Peter 3:15).

Once you’ve considered if you are facing any of the above hindrances to bringing your requests to God, pray about any you need help with, and then share your requests with God in prayer remembering Matthew 11:28-30.

YOUR PRAYER MIGHT SOUND LIKE THIS…
(Physical needs)
Dear Lord, please supply all the things we need today (meals, drink, clothing, shelter, warmth, medicine, health, transportation, safety) and help us to be truly thankful when You do. Specifically I’m wanting to ask You for this particular need we have today: _________. When you do supply us with things, please help us to recognize that You are providing for us, and make us thankful in ways that honor You as our Provider.

(Spiritual needs)
Father, please supply our spiritual needs today (faith, hope, love, trust, kindness, blessings, Your Presence, discernment, selflessness, wisdom, self control, heavenly focus, trust in Christ, focus on Christ, freedom from sin, freedom to obey, patience, understanding, kindness, tenderness, forgiveness, peace, etc.) Specifically I want to ask you for this particular spiritual need I am aware of: ____________. When you do supply this need, please show us that You did and help us to thank You for it.

PART SIX: Confession of Sin and Repentance
Suggested Reading: Ezra and David’s prayers: Ezra 9:5-15 and Psalm 51
As we think about Who God is, we begin to also realize the ways we fall short of His glory. But praise God - His mercies are new every morning (Lam. 3:21-23)! So we are taught to confess our sin on a daily basis (Matt. 6:9-12), repent (turn away) from our sin that we have confessed (1 Peter 3:11) and believe in God’s total forgiveness (1 John 1:9; Ps. 32:5b). Indeed, when we fail to confess our sins in this way, we are risking physical and spiritual disaster (Ps. 32:3, Ps. 66:18). Therefore we should do our best to name our sins and confess and forsake them whenever we are aware of them (1 Cor. 11:31). You may also want to pray for help in having a right understanding of sin, and for the ability to see sin as first and foremost rebellion against God (Ps. 51:4). Pray also for eyes to see how wonderful forgiveness is (how He washes you – Ps. 51:7, takes your sin far away – Ps. 103:12, seals it in a bag – Job 14:17, buries it – Ps. 32:1, treads it underfoot and casts it away – Micah 7:19, wipes it out – Is. 43:25 and puts it in a place where He chooses to not remember it – Is. 38:17 and Heb. 10:17). Thank Him for the awesome gift of forgiveness, and ask for help to cherish that gift all day long today.

YOUR PRAYER MIGHT SOUND LIKE THIS…
Forgive me of my sins Lord. Specifically, please forgive me for ____________. Please help me to hate sin the way You do. Help me to see it as rebellion against You. Help me to see my sin in light of what Christ has done for me, and help my heart to break over my unloving ways toward You and toward others. Please lead me away from temptation today Father. Keep me from toying with things that I know lead to rebellion against You. Increase my fear over these things, and especially help me to fear getting involved with anything that might damage my intimacy with You. Thank you for forgiving me Lord. Increase my faith in your forgiveness and heal me from the lie of trying to pay for my sins by making myself feel guilty. Show me how to walk rightly in this costly forgiveness that was made possible only by the shed blood of Jesus Christ. Help me to grasp forgiveness in such a way that I am inspired to obey You today out of the overflow of my thankfulness for what Christ has done for me. Thank you for choosing to forget my past failures and for not looking at me through my sin. Help me to do the same for others in my life as I seek to imitate You Lord. Thank you for forgiving me. I love you Lord. Amen.

PART SEVEN: Forgiveness
Suggested Reading: Matthew 18:15-35, Lev. 19:17-18
As we begin to grasp what forgiveness means in our own lives, we realize that we too must forgive like we have been forgiven. I find it helpful to remember that forgiveness is a decision, and it is also a process. We decide to forgive, and we also choose to stick with that decision day by day, out of our thankfulness to God. It may also help to recall that forgiveness and reconciliation are two totally different things. We are commanded to forgive, but reconciliation is not always possible, even where forgiveness has already occurred. Only Christ can accomplish true forgiveness in our lives, and it is only His forgiveness through us that keeps us from the bitterness, anger, rage and self obsession that always springs from a heart that refuses to forgive on God’s terms. Spend time now seeking Him for strength to forgive in ways that are pleasing to Him and helpful to you.

YOUR PRAYER MIGHT SOUND LIKE THIS…
Dear Lord, is there anyone I have not forgiven? Search my heart Lord. Show me anyone or anything I have chosen to not forgive. (PAUSE in silence – looking to God). I give you that hurt right now Lord, because I don’t want it to be in my heart anymore. I don’t want it to work a work of evil in my life – causing me and those I love more pain and hurt. Forgive me for allowing that wrong to stay in my heart, festering like that Lord. Please remove that from my heart and carry that for me Lord – it is too heavy for me to bear any longer. And now show me how to be wise with this person or situation. If the person or people who hurt me do not believe they have, show me what to do about this. Please help me to place this wrong done to me entirely in Your hands. Help me to be ready to extend forgiveness as soon as they ask for it, and help me to be like You in that I never stop hoping for repentance where it is needed. Do you want me to lovingly confront this person or situation Lord (Luke 17:3)? Help me to be brave and give me the right heart attitude, the right opportunity, and the right way to go about it if so. Help me to do all things out of my love for You and my desire to please You. Help me to hope for reconciliation, even though it may not be possible. Give me wisdom Lord (James 1:5)! Help me to do the most loving thing and the most wise thing according to Your Word (Gal. 6:1). If I’m wrong about this person or situation, please show me my error Lord. Help me to look to my own sins before looking for the sins of others (Matt. 7:1-5), but please don’t allow my weakness or past failures to keep me from doing the right thing. If I need the input of a more mature believer, please show me who to talk to and how and when to bring it up. I am willing and wanting to forgive Lord, please help me to do so. Amen.

PART EIGHT: Trusting His Hand
See the Lord’s Prayer in Matthew 6:9-13
Because God’s ways are so different from mine (Isaiah 55:8-9), I often have to pray for help in desiring His will more than I desire my own. You may also want to ask for help to trust Him, even when you don’t understand what He is doing. Ask Him to help you to believe He means to work all these things for good in your life (Romans 8:28). Talk to Him about ways you are having trouble believing this and ask for help with your unbelief. Ask for help to not be anxious (Phil. 4:6), especially as you walk with Him through those times when you do not understand His ways.

YOUR PRAYER MIGHT SOUND LIKE THIS…
Dear Lord, help me to want Your will more than I want my own will. Increase my trust in You, so that I can desire what You desire for me and follow you in the day to day workings of my life. Sometimes it’s hard for me to trust You because I don’t always understand what You are doing or why You are leading in a certain direction. I especially am confused about ______________________. Help me to know that no matter what You decide to do, it will be meant for good toward me by You. I give You this thing now Lord, and I want to leave this thing with You so that I don’t worry about it all day long, and so that I can follow You through it, no matter what. Please help me now Lord to truly hand it over to You and to trust You with it. Please set a guard over my mind so that I can know Your peace, even when I don’t understand Your plan. I surrender my will to Your control Lord. Do with my life what seems best to You. I give you my circumstances, my finances, my future, my relationships, my job, my hopes, my dreams and my reputation. Speak to me clearly today Lord, through your Word, your people or directly to me in prayer if there is anything you want me to do in response to Your will for me. Give me eyes to see and ears to hear You as You lead me. Give me strength and wisdom to follow You Lord. Amen.

PART NINE: Scripture Memory
Suggested Reading: Mary’s Prayer: Luke 1:46-55
Memorizing Scripture is such a struggle for most of us, and yet is essential to obeying the Lord (Psalm 119:11). Take some time to share the verse you want to memorize with the Lord and ask for help to continue to memorize His Word in honor of Him.

YOUR PRAYER MIGHT SOUND LIKE THIS…
Dear Lord, help me to memorize _______________________. Cause my mind to think of this verse often throughout the day today. Help me to be disciplined in actually trying to commit this verse to memory. Please cause Your Holy Spirit to use this verse in my life in ways that I can testify to. Help me to memorize this and many other verses so that I can call to mind Your Words all day long and thereby be helped in my pursuit of You. Amen.

PART TEN: Protection from evil
Suggested Reading: Ephesians 6:10-18 and Psalm 140
We live in a dark world (Eph. 6:12) and we need God’s protection and guidance in the midst of it (Romans 13:12). Take some time now to speak to the Lord about your need for His protection from evil.

YOUR PRAYER MIGHT SOUND LIKE THIS…
Dear Father, please keep evil far from me and protect me from it Lord. Help me to have nothing to do with it. Help me to not look at it, laugh at it, linger around it, take it lightly or allow it into my home, heart or church. Help me to take a strong stand against those things that I KNOW are evil, hurtful and destructive. Help me to believe hell is real, and that real people go into it every day, never to leave again. Help me to avoid doing or saying anything today that might push a person further away from You. Forgive me for not loving my enemies, praying for those who persecute me, trying to snatch some from the fire, even if I get burned (Jude). Help me to love you so much, that it breaks my heart to participate in any form of evil (1 Thess. 5:22). Help me to hate sin, even if it means I miss out, fall behind or am left out of things I’d like to be included in. Help me to see that feeling sorry for myself can lead me into evil. Help me to refuse to listen to the lies of the enemy, and help me not to repeat any lies I have listened to in the past.
Please set your angels to guard me today Lord, and to guard and protect all of my loved ones. Please be our Defender (Psalm 5:11), our Brush Breaker (Micah 2:13), our Dread Champion (Jeremiah 20:11), our Shepherd (Psalm 23) and our King (Psalm 44:4). Please go before me (Deut. 31:8), behind me (Isaiah 52:12), beside me (Psalm 23:4) and help me to know that you will never leave me (Hebrews 13:5) nor fail me (Deut. 31:6). Give me the ability to live this day like I believe these things about You Lord. Amen.

PART ELEVEN: Thanksgiving
Suggested Reading: Hannah’s prayer: 1 Samuel 2
Isn’t it amazing how unthankful we can be – even in the land of plenty? When our family went to Disney World just a couple years ago, it astonished us to find so many people who were definitely NOT having a magical day. It might help you to take the thankfulness quiz to find out where you are in terms of thankfulness. Being thankful is not automatic – it is a work of the Holy Spirit in our lives. Take time now to be thankful in prayer, but also to seek the Lord to grow in your thankfulness to Him.

YOUR PRAYER MIGHT SOUND LIKE THIS…
Dear Father, please show me new things to be thankful for (PAUSE in silence – looking to God). There are so many things to thank you for! Please forgive me for all the times You have provided for me and I have not thanked You or acknowledged things as coming from You. Thank you for your mercy toward me at times like that Lord, and your grace to continue to provide and care for me, despite my thanklessness. You are great and greatly to be praised! Thank you Lord. Thank you for giving me this prayer time and for causing me to get this far in the exercise. I also want to thank you for the following things you brought to my mind as I paused to consider all that you have done for me _________________. Please grow me in thankfulness Lord and help me to overflow with thanksgiving to You on a daily basis. Amen

PART TWELVE: PRAISE
To end your time of prayer, spend time praising Him. You can read a Psalm of praise to Him, or you could write a letter or a poem or sing your own song of praise to God.

“Be exalted above the heavens, O God; Let Your glory be above all the earth.” (Ps. 57:11)

Amen.

(Please Note: the above post originally appeared on this blog on October 29, 2007 under the title: 12 days of prayer. It has been significantly revised and edited since then and now appears in this latest format. Enjoy!)

Scripture quotations taken from the New American Standard Bible®,Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973,1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation Used by permission." (www.Lockman.org)

The Bondage Breaker by Neil T. Anderson

2010-10-20T07:15:00.004-04:00

Twenty years after its first printing in 1990, the book the Bondage Breaker by Neil Anderson continues inspiring, encouraging and guiding believers of all backgrounds and maturity levels to freedom in Christ. I have personally witnessed the Holy Spirit use the principles and Truths in this book to set people free from plaguing voices, oppressive moods, habitual behaviors and destructive mindsets. It is a permanent part of my ministry tool chest, and a very helpful guide in dealing with issues stemming from spiritual warfare and oppression.

The book functions in multiple ways for differing needs. It works as a “check-up” for people who want to find out if what they are experiencing has any demonic roots. It works as a “refresher” for people who want to make sure they are believing the Truth about themselves and/or others. It works as a “guide” for people called to walk someone out of occult involvement or spiritual oppression of varying levels. And it works as an “inspiration” for people who want to be reminded of just how powerful Jesus Christ really is.

The book is well written and perfectly paced, especially for reading with a person you are helping to walk out of spiritual oppression and/or occult involvement. Dr. Anderson’s years of experience in working with people suffering in this way have given him incredible wisdom and insight into the best pace, order and content for finding freedom in Christ. Each chapter builds on the Truths shared in the previous chapter as the reader is carefully and powerfully walked away form the darkness toward the Light of Jesus Christ. The book culminates with chapter 13 – Steps to Freedom in Christ, which is the final step in making sure we have done everything God tells us to do in cooperation with His breaking of our spiritually oppressive bonds. Steps to Freedom in Christ can also be purchased as a separate booklet.

Over 1.2 million copies of the Bondage Breaker have been sold worldwide. It has received much attention in both secular and Christian media, and has been highly controversial in many evangelical circles as well. Most of the theological criticism of the book stems from differing views on spiritual warfare and in particular, whether or not a born again believer can be demon possessed.

Dr. Anderson teaches that demons exist – that they were originally angels who were cast out of heaven and that they have been given a certain amount of authority for a time, for reasons we do not fully understand. He further teaches that if you are truly born again, you cannot be possessed by a demon (because you are already possessed by Christ), but you can open yourself up to demonic influence and control to the extent that you may seem possessed and experience a level of bondage that must be supernaturally dealt with. The book does not teach (as some claim it does) that Christians are to go around “casting out demons” by our own strength or authority. It is rather a careful, clear and helpful explanation of how to live in the Truth of who we are in Christ, and how incarnating Christ enables us to effectively call on and depend upon Him to defeat the enemy of our souls.

One of my favorite chapters is Chapter 3 – You Have Every Right To Be Free. In this chapter Dr. Anderson covers 33 elements of our identity in Christ and helps the reader to investigate whether or not they are living like they believe those Truths. Each Truth is very simple, and is based on a Scripture verse that clearly states who God says we are once we have put our faith in Christ. Each time I go through this chapter the Lord makes me aware of an element I forgot about or one that my life is not reflecting as clearly as I want it to be. Deeply believing in and living out all 33 elements is essential to continuing to live free from the bondage of the enemy. Even if you are not experiencing spiritual oppression now – this chapter will protect you from future oppression and could possibly set you free in ways you were not even aware you needed!

The Bondage Breaker is a great book - but it’s not magic fairy dust. It will not help anyone who does not want Christ on His terms for His glory. It will not set anyone free who is still clinging to their chains. But for those who have come to the end of themselves, who want Christ no matter what it will cost them, and who are experiencing spiritual oppression that they want to be free from - this book can literally be a lifesaver.

The Bondage Breaker is one of those books that will change you when you read it, regardless your reasons for picking it up. Even if you disagree with Dr. Anderson on a few points here and there, the Truths he shares and the wonderfully inspiring stories he relates will strengthen your faith and point you to the life-changing news that Jesus Christ is worthy of total surrender & devotion, and is indeed our loving and powerful Bondage Breaker.

Putting a STOP to Gossip

2010-10-01T10:34:00.004-04:00

Some Things Never Change
In my 23 years of ministry, one thing has stayed the same: the way gossip ruins Christian community. About 11 years ago I had the unique opportunity of creating and implementing a no-gossip policy for an all-girls summer camp I directed. The positive results were staggering. Here is what I learned from that experience in a format I hope will inspire you to eliminate gossip in your own neck of the woods.

What’s the Big Deal About Gossip?
Most people agree that gossip is bad, but have you ever stopped to consider just how bad gossip is?

FEAR – Gossip produces a fear that can lead people into an unhealthy obsession with themselves and what others think of them. This obsession is especially harmful to the Christian walk as it divides our devotion in two…

“For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ.” (Gal. 1:10)

FALSEHOOD – Gossip inspires people to lie about themselves in order to avoid the rejection they feel when people talk badly about them. For Christians, this practice of deceit can lead to an appearance of righteousness and maturity that is false.

“But Peter said, "Ananias, why has Satan filled your heart to lie to the Holy Spirit and to keep back some of the price of the land? ...Why is it that you have conceived this deed in your heart? You have not lied to men but to God." (Acts 5:3-4)

FRETTING – Gossip or the threat of gossip causes people to worry and even panic about what they just said or did or what they will say or do and how it might be talked about by others. For believers, this desperate attempt to account for gossip wears us out and opens us up to other sin.

“Do not fret, it leads only to evildoing.” (Psalm 37:8b)

FUTILITY – Gossip motivates people to operate in performance mode in order to avoid being rejected by those around them. It facilitates an environment where one day they are worth something, and the next day they aren’t. Christians who experience this inside the church end up on the ash heap of burn out and despair, similar to the way Solomon felt in the passage below. This sense of futility ultimately leads to a departure from every Christian scene they know.

“So I hated life, for the work which had been done under the sun was grievous to me; because everything is futility and striving after wind.” (Eccl. 2:17)

What Else Does Gossip Do?
Gossip not only attacks us as individuals, gossip destroys the bonds of community that set us apart from the rest of the world. Whether it hits your Sunday school class, your small group, your Christian school, your youth group – you immediately see a breakdown of the spiritual bonds within that group. Things like trust (a bond that produces the ability to be transparent for example) is one of the first bonds to fall apart. Suddenly no one is quite as open and honest in small group as they used to be, secrets are spreading and deep connections are diminishing (if they ever had a chance to grow in the first place). Leaders are left wondering – whatever happened to our small group? And while gossip is busy attacking the bonds inside a community, it is simultaneously teaching a watching world all kinds of lies about our community and about Christ.

What Is Gossip?
Gossip is speaking about an absent person to another person or group of people in an uncomplimentary way with the intent to tear down, destroy and/or cause other negative things to happen. It can be telling lies you know are lies which is called “slander” (Psalm 50:20), or repeating uncomplimentary things (perhaps even true things) for the purpose of hurting, not helping (Proverbs 11:13; Numbers 12:9; James 4:11). Put simply, gossip is ANY time we speak (or email, text message, facebook, etc.) about someone we know personally, in an uncomplimentary way, when we are NOT doing so to insure the safety of the person or others, and when we ARE doing so in a way that is seeking to tear down, destroy and/or cause negative things to happen to the person in question.

“Do not complain, brethren, against one another, that you yourselves may not be judged; behold, the Judge is standing right at the door.” (James 5:9)

When is gossip not gossip?
In the passages sited so far, gossip is described as “tale bearing” and “complaining” against others. You can tell gossip by what is at its root: a desire to harm. So what about when you’ve been hurt by someone and you genuinely need help to know what to do next? Is telling someone else about the situation gossiping? The answer is no, as long as you are “seeking wise counsel” in order to resolve a situation. Try to make sure the person you seek out is more spiritually mature than you are (exhibits more spiritual fruit than you do), or at least that they have a reputation for not gossiping. Especially in situations where there is any level of danger, it is always appropriate to seek out wise counsel before proceeding further (see Prov. 1:5, Prov. 3:13, Prov. 10:13, Prov. 13:10). Keep in mind that some of the worst Christian gossip sessions begin as “prayer requests.” Try to avoid that embarrassing pitfall, but do seek out assistance where wisdom warrants you do so.

Why Should I Try To Eliminate Gossip?
When we take steps to eliminate gossip, first in our own lives and then in the lives of those around us, we not only put to death the evils already described, we create a place where true faith can thrive. We breathe life into whatever Christian community we find ourselves in and provide something the world cannot offer: an environment of stability, safety, trust and love. Put some genuine believers into a place like that and suddenly you see things like transparency, openness, depth and growth. Spend any amount of time in that setting and you’ll witness a deepening of relationships and a spiritual richness unlike any you’ve ever experienced before.

How Can I STOP Gossiping?
The most common way gossip gets started among believers is when feelings get hurt. Perhaps the person you want to share information about has rejected you in some way in the past and some information you’ve just obtained will be an effective way to hurt them back. Perhaps the person you want to talk about just hurt your feelings directly and now you want to tell the world about it rather than deal with it biblically. Maybe you have a bit of jealousy about the person in question, and sharing the information you have makes them a little less “all that” in your eyes and hopefully in the eyes of others. Whatever the motivation is, there is a better way for believers to go - and it starts with one little word: S-T-O-P.

S - Silence your heart before God for one minute after you are first tempted to repeat something you heard or react to something that has been done to you or someone else. Pray during this time for wisdom. There is a good chance you will need to share whatever you want to share with someone at some point (see “Plan” below), but take this moment to quiet yourself before God and get your eyes off of your situation and onto Him.

“Tremble and do not sin; meditate in your heart upon your bed, and be still.” (Psalm 4:4)

T- Take whatever it is to Jesus – tell Him the whole story – Jesus is a friend that sticks closer than a brother! Even if it turns out you are wrong about the situation or that you have been given wrong information, take the time to expose your hurt, confusion, concern, etc. to Christ before going any further. Developing this discipline of communication with God is essential to breaking a pattern of gossip in your life.

“Cast your burden upon the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken.” (Psalm 55:22)

O- Open God’s Word and ask the Holy Spirit to lead you to the right passage or biblical principle that applies to your situation. Ask Him to speak to you through that text in helpful, healing ways. God will never lead you in ways that contradict His Word or His character. The time you have spent up to this point in getting to know God and studying His Word will serve you well at this point. Give Him time and room to lead you and let Him know you are committed to doing things His way for His glory.

“Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” (Psalm 119:105)

P- Plan to do the most loving thing, even though you probably already feel much better about your situation now that you have spent time with the Lord regarding it. Did someone sin against you? The most loving thing to do is to speak to them about that. I’ve heard people say: “Oh, I’ve forgiven her, but I don’t feel I ever need to speak to her again.” As believers we do not have the luxury of cutting people out of our hearts or giving up on them, because Jesus Christ never gives up on us. Unity among believers is important to God (Psalm 133:1, Eph. 4:3, Col. 3:14) and so we keep it out of our love for Him and our desire to please Him. Do things God’s way for His glory, and you will receive a blessing from Him that goes far beyond anything you gain by taking matters into your own hands.

“And if your brother sins, go and reprove him in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed. And if he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax-gatherer.” (Matt. 18:15-17)

Basic No-Gossip Principles
Now that you have learned how to put a S-T-O-P to gossip, following are some basic principles to help you continue living gossip-free!

1. When gossip begins, graciously shut it down.
Interrupt gossip sessions by saying things like: “I don’t feel comfortable having this conversation about a person who is not here to defend themselves.” It’s true you will no longer be the most popular person at the party, but you will also be communicating some pretty wonderful things as well. Things like…

You want to please Christ more than you care what others think.

You are the type of person who can be trusted to protect the absent person.

You are able to be gracious and firm when it comes to doing things God’s way.

Stopping gossip is what it means to love others on God’s terms, not our own. By doing the unpopular but God-honoring thing, you not only establish yourself as someone who can be trusted, you actually grow in your ability to honor and obey God.

2. Never give up on anyone, even though you are tempted to.
Becoming a no-gossip person is really all about being someone who lives out a “decision love” rather than a feelings/performance-oriented love. What a blessing it is to be around someone who loves in ways that are not dependent on human responses, but rather on God who never changes. We DECIDE to love others, just like Christ DECIDED to love us! We love others with the love of Christ, even when it gets rough – even when we don’t feel like it. This is the kind of love that changes the world, and the kind of love a watching world desperately needs to see lived out! (1 John 4:10-11)

3. Seek forgiveness/reconciliation for gossip that has gone before.
You’ve already learned about all the evil gossip produces. Now is a good time to consider dealing with gossip you have already participated in. You can start by confessing your sin of past gossip to God. He may lead you to admit your sin to the individuals you’ve gossiped about and/or to seek their forgiveness (not saying: I’m sorry, but rather – I was wrong for not coming to you first with this, do you forgive me?”). You may also be led of the Lord to go back to the people you’ve talked to and let them know you were wrong to share in the way that you did. But what if you can’t remember what you said or who you talked to? What if it would be inappropriate to bring up past gossip for whatever reason? Confess what you are aware of to God, and commit to living gossip free from now on.

4. Provide basic ground rules to help eliminate gossip
If you lead a class or group of any kind, generate some basic ground rules regarding gossip. Something like this: “We want this group to be a place of safety where people can genuinely share what they are going through and how they are responding to what God is saying. For that reason, if someone shares something in class and you would like to repeat that information outside of class, please go to that person first and ask for their permission to do so before you share.” By so doing, you give people at least one place on earth where they can process things out loud, within community, without the fear of having that information repeated behind their backs. Empowering people in this way gives them a sense of well being in class, and openness is restored.

You Can Live Gossip Free!
It’s my hope this article has given you some of the inspiration and tools you need to help you eliminate gossip in your own Christian community. Please leave your comments below and be blessed as you press on to provide a No-Gossip environment for the people you love and care for.

Blessings!

Scripture quotations taken from the New American Standard Bible®,Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973,1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)

Redeeming Your Dating Culture Part 2 - Preparing Our Hearts

2010-08-07T10:29:00.008-04:00

photo courtesy Nace Howell

"Clear the way for the LORD in the wilderness; make smooth in the desert a highway for our God.” (Isaiah 40:3)

Preparing the Way
If you want to build something of lasting value, first you spend time on the place where you plan to build. Clearing trees, removing rocks and making things level are just a few of the painstaking pre-requisites for major construction. Building a healthy Christian community is no different. We too must take the time to prepare ourselves for the work we pray God will accomplish among us. But how do we go about actually doing that? What can we do as individuals and also as a group to “clear the way” for the Lord to grow us into the healthy, intimate, Christ-exalting group of people we want and need to be? To help, we’ve come up with five questions to ask ourselves – questions that address foundational issues related to the formation of that kind of community. And while these questions were developed with dating culture in mind, they are applicable to anyone who wants God’s best in community - regardless your marital status.

What You Will Need
You will get the most out of this exercise if you go through it with pen and paper in hand. We also suggest enlisting the help of one or two other believers who agree to go through the article at the same time you do and then meet at some point to discuss your findings. This is especially helpful in the event a need is discovered that would be best addressed within community rather than in private.

Suggested Instructions

• Begin the exercise by pausing for just 30 seconds to ask the Lord to search your heart and to use these questions to help you better understand and address your heart needs (Psalm 139:23-24).

• Next, read the first question and pause in silence to listen for the real response of your heart. Write down any thoughts you may have, including any reasons you are aware of for why you answered in a certain way.

• Once you feel like you have a good idea of your response to the question, move forward and read the passages of Scripture listed below each question.

• With each passage, write down anything that occurs to you, especially as you compare your response with what you see God’s Word is saying.

• Read the paragraphs that follow the passages, and the suggested prayer of response. Pray through the recommended prayer of response (if it applies to you) or create your own and pray through that.

If you do not have time to go through all of the questions in one sitting, do one or two per day and come back to this article as time allows. May God richly bless you as together we seek God’s best inside all of our relationships.

The Questions

“Let us examine and probe our ways…” (Lamentations 3:40)

Area #1: Desire

Question #1: What Do I Want The Most?

Scripture Passages To Ponder

“O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly; my soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.” (Psalm 63:1)

“But I have this against you, that you have left your first love” (Rev. 2:4)

“But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” (Matt. 6:33)

What Is At Bottom?
John Piper, in a recent sermon of his, challenged his hearers to take a close look at what is at the bottom of all that they desire. If it is Christ, good – you are saved. If it is self – you need to consider the possibility that you are not actually saved, but have simply added Jesus to your list of people or things that you’ve lined up to serve self. This is a jolt for sure, but a good jolt. When we take an honest look at what is at the bottom of all that we desire, what we discover can shed tremendous light on what we truly need. When I did this, I sadly found myself edging in on Christ more than I thought I was!

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do!
Christ, by His very nature, deserves first place in our lives. And He doesn’t want to share that place with anyone or anything else. He does this out of His deep love for us, knowing that if our souls are fit for God, they will never be satisfied by anything less than Himself. Do you sometimes wonder why you feel uneasy deep down in your soul? Could it be you have been attempting to replace Christ with someone or something else? True believers will always be miserable when this happens, but change can be equally painful! Even so, turning our idols (our God replacements) over to God is essential to being freed up to enjoy Him in the ways we need to. So what do you want? What is at the bottom of all that you desire? If you take a look and find that Christ is nowhere to be found – click here for a clear explanation of the gospel. But if you discover like I did that Christ is indeed there, and there are also other things there as well – things that don’t belong - perhaps the following prayer will help…

Prayer of Response
Lord, as I look at what I’m living for, You are helping me to see that I don’t thirst for You in the ways I should. I don’t even want to pray this prayer right now. But because I am saved, deep down I know that I will only be satisfied when You are the only One at the bottom of all that I desire. Please forgive me for putting myself or other people before You. I have taken your good gifts and made idols out of them, and I know this displeases You. Now it feels like my heart is cold toward You and toward Your Word and all I can do is ask you to please heal my heart Lord. Renew my desire for You and for Your Word, and place Yourself in the blazing center of everything I want and am. Show me the idols that need to be given over to you, and show me specifically what the first step is in that process. Bring to me the right person who can help me through this Lord, because even though I am praying this prayer, I truly can’t imagine surviving life without this idol. But I want to try – and so once again I surrender the control of my life to You, right here and now and am trusting You to show me the way out. Increase my hunger for You Lord – cause me to want to pray to You and read Your Word and keep increasing my desire for You each day until I want You more than anyone or anything else. Thank you Lord, Amen.

Area #2: HOPE

Question #2: Does My Heart Hope in God-exalting Ways?

Scripture Passages to Ponder

“Behold, the eye of the LORD is on those who fear Him, on those who hope for His lovingkindness” (Psalm 33:18)

“Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 15:13)

“The LORD'S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. The LORD is my portion," says my soul, "Therefore I have hope in Him." (Lam. 3:22-24)

Hoping or Coping?
Whenever I have been used by God to help with relationships, the first thing I am aware of is a need for a renewal of Christ-exalting hope. And this can be an uphill battle for a number of reasons. One of them is that having hope or being hopeful is so out of style these days! The Disney movie “Enchanted” illustrates this perfectly. If you missed the movie, it’s the one where the cartoon princess Giselle is cursed out of her cartoon fairy land and catapulted into the human world of inner city New York. The movie is a funny look at princess naiveté (or innocence) running headlong into the sarcastic, cynical realities of real world life. And while I laughed, I was also grieved as it highlighted (for me at least) just how unhopeful the “real world” has become. Even more grievous is when we realize how unhopeful our fellow believers have become! When was the last time you bumped into a Christian who was “so heavenly minded they were no earthly good”? You’ve heard they exist, but have you ever actually met one? Yet if we belong to God, we have every reason to be radically hope-filled people. The kind of people who are so heavenly minded they are the best kind of good – the kind who lead people to God.

Recapturing Hope
Do you realize that if you are a child of God, you wake up every morning under the hope-filled, interested, loving eyes of Jesus Christ? What if you woke up under eyes that were like: “Ugh – there he is again, late for devotions as usual.” I think many of us actually believe God thinks of us in this way! But if you are in Christ, His mercies toward you are NEW EVERY MORNING. EVERY MORNING you begin again with God’s “plan A” for your life. EVERY MORNING you have a fresh chance, a new start, another reason to hope and dream and grow in ways impossible apart from Him. Is that the God you wake up to? Have you allowed Him to craft within you the living hope only He can supply? Do you have a heart that hopes and believes for others in ways that reflect the greatness of God? Do you believe that at any given moment that person who most annoys you or discourages you or even hurts you could suddenly be transformed into amazing Christ-likeness, just because God is that merciful? Do you have so much hope in God that you are enabled to hope for the people who cannot hope for themselves? If this section has made you aware of a need for a renewal of hope, perhaps the following prayer might be a good place to start…

Prayer of Response
Dear Father, I confess that my heart is not hopeful in ways that properly reflect Your greatness. I think this might be because in the past I have allowed my hope to become fixed on a person or a situation rather than on You. When that person or situation eventually failed, I became just a little more bitter and disappointed than I was before. Please forgive me for doing that Lord. Please show me why I began setting my hopes on something created rather than on You, and help me to fix my hope on You again. Search my heart and help me to root out any bitterness that has lodged itself in my heart as a result of being disappointed in people or situations I had placed my hope upon. Help me to see where I am not forgiving people, and lead me in dealing with those situations in ways that please You. Please forgive me for the ways I have hurt the people You have placed in my life with my cynicism, criticism, slander and/or condemnation. I am ashamed to think how I have been used by the enemy as an instrument to drive the hope out of people. Give me the desire to ask for their forgiveness Lord, and the courage to actually go and do it. Please show me how to hope in ways that exalt You Father – give me that hope you describe in Your Word. Help me to have hope for others, but not put my hope in others. Show me how to truly put my hope in You, perhaps for the first time in our relationship. Cause that hope to be so evident in my life that others will actually ask me about where it comes from (1 Peter 3:15). Restore to me the joy of my salvation Lord, and help me to hope in ways that please You. Amen.

Area #3: Trust

Question #3: Who or What Am I Really Trusting In to Take Care of Me?

Scripture Passages To Ponder

“For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD gives grace and glory; no good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.” (Psalm 84:11)

“The young lions do lack and suffer hunger; but they who seek the LORD shall not be in want of any good thing.”(Psalm 34:10)

“Therefore the LORD longs to be gracious to you, and therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you…” (Is. 30:18)

My Provider
Do you trust in God’s provision for you? Do you believe that He will provide for you in this life, and will continue to do so on into eternity? Does your heart trust Him to bring to you every good thing He intends for you to have, even if you don’t deserve it? One of God’s names is Jehovah Jireh which means, My Provider. Do you ever call God by this name? Do you find your heart often meditating on how much God delights in giving you good things? Is your heart so convinced of God’s provision for you that you can’t help but overflow with generosity toward those around you - even the people who reject you? (Col. 3:12-13).

Trusting God, Even For A Date
God promises to provide for His children, yet for some reason we insist on grasping after things in our own strength on our own terms. We are like the Israelites of Exodus 16 who thought they had a better plan regarding the manna, but in the end wound up eating worms or nothing at all (Exodus 16:20). Yet we know it is God Who controls hearts (Prov. 21:1). And while this should amaze and comfort us, it can sometimes feel like nothing more than just one more frustration. Our thoughts can sometimes run thus: “If God is the One Who controls hearts, and if He is intent on bringing to me every good thing, why doesn’t He bring to me a person who can help me walk through this hellish life?” When this question is asked in isolation, it usually results in lies growing up in the heart of the one who asked it. Those lies (about God and also about self) help justify a sinful grasping after relationships and/or a deepening of isolation and bitterness - but there is a better way.

Supernatural Love
God has a perfect plan for your love life, and it is basically twofold. Make your relationship with Him your priority, and then trust Him to add everything else to your life (Matt. 6:33) in His perfect timing, including a soul mate. When someone asks me how they can know who the right person to date is, I always tell them: “Run after Jesus as fast as you can, and then look to the right and to the left. Whoever is running as fast as you are toward Jesus, (and if they are single and even mildly attractive to you), date that person.” We will be talking more about this in detail in later articles, but for now just review this basic principle: You must RECEIVE love from Christ before you can GIVE that love to others. And it is THAT LOVE that makes our Christian relationships infinitely more meaningful than ANYTHING the world has to offer - and there are no cheap substitutes. Ever feel like something is just missing in a relationship with another believer? Chances are one or both of you are not spending enough time with Christ. I firmly believe that for Christians, when we neglect our intimate walk with the Lord, we become incredibly boring and two dimensional. Only our total dependence and surrender to Christ can cause us to have deeply meaningful relationships here on earth, starting with the most deeply meaningful relationship possible – our relationship with Jesus Christ. So growing in our dependence on Christ is not only essential for our individual joy, it is essential for our relational joy as well – but do you believe this? Take some time now to prayerfully examine where you are at in terms of total dependence and your personal pursuit of intimacy with Christ. If you discover that your heart is not depending on God in ways that you need to be, the following prayer might be a good place to start…

Prayer of Response
Father, I want to trust You to take care of me more than anyone or anything else. I want to be so convinced of Your good intentions toward me and Your heart of provision for me that I choose to pursue my relationship with You more than I do my earthly ones. Please renew my faith in the promises You have made me. You have promised to take care of me (Matt. 6:30-32). You have promised to turn even bad things around for my good (Romans 8:28). You have promised to bring to me EVERY good thing (Psalm 84:11). You have promised that if I seek You first, everything I need will be added to me (Matt. 6:33). Help me to truly believe these things Lord. Help me to wake up each day resting in the Truth that You will bring to me every good thing you have planned before the foundation of the world for me to have. Forgive me for chasing after good things in my own strength on my own terms. Renew my understanding of You as my Perfect Provider. Forgive me for depending on myself and acting like I can’t trust You to come through for me. Forgive me for teaching others to trust in themselves or in this world rather than in You. Forgive me if I have trusted in my own beauty or ability to secure love for myself on my terms. Help me to get out of any unhealthy relationships that may have begun as a result of this chasing Lord. Heal me of all these things and remove any lies that may have lodged themselves in my mind and heart. I want to be the kind of person that truly depends on You Lord. I want to wake up each day needing You more than I need anything or anyone else in this life – please make that a reality in my life Lord – only You can do that, and so I wait for You to work this miracle in my heart and mind. Thank you Lord. Amen.

Area #4: Acceptance

Question #4: Do I Think God Made Any Mistakes When He Formed Me?

Scripture Passages to Ponder

“For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well” (Psalm 139:13-14)

“Your hands made me and fashioned me; give me understanding, that I may learn Your commandments” (Psalm 119:73)

“Thus says the LORD, your Redeemer, and the one who formed you from the womb, "I, the LORD, am the maker of all things, stretching out the heavens by Myself and spreading out the earth all alone” (Isaiah 44:24)

No Condemnation.
God has a design and a purpose for every aspect of your being – even those parts deemed (by you or others) to be defective. One of the reasons He made you the way that He did is because of the good works He plans for you to do (Eph. 2:10). Can you trust Him to know what He was doing when He made you the way that He did? Does your heart believe He has plans for your disability or your bad skin or your high-pitched laugh? God does have a plan, and He is not worried about what you or others perceive as defects in what He made. Indeed it is His perfect plan to shine brightly through every one of your weaknesses. (2 Cor. 12:9-10). God made you the way that He did for an abundance of reasons, including that He has specific people in mind whom He plans to bring to you who would not be likely to go to someone thinner, or smarter, or handsomer or healthier than you are. Can you accept the assignment He has given you? Can you be the loud person, or the big person or the slow person for His glory?

I Surrender!
Surrendering your life to Christ begins with receiving His assignment for you with trust and joy in your heart. Does that mean you are not allowed to complain to God about His plans for you? No – in fact He is the Only One Who can truly handle our complaints – and all of us have them. The Psalms are chock full of reverent complaints to God – they teach us that the only way to properly deal with the disappointment we feel is to lay that disappointment out before our loving Father and truly share how we feel about it with Him. As we experience His understanding, and His mercy and His tender care of us – and especially as we realize that He will never reject us, no matter what weaknesses we have – it is then that we are enabled (by Him) to be moved beyond the complaint and into a deeper place of acceptance inside our relationship with Him. Only He can make it possible for us to let go of the things we hate about ourselves. Only He can help us to truly trust Him and accept His call on our lives – and He wants to do that for us inside our relationship with Him. He desires to replace our self-hatred with contentment, our self-doubt with security and our self-love with a deep love for Himself – all because He knows what is best for us. If you are seeing a need in your heart to grow in the area of contentment, acceptance and even delight in who God made you to be, perhaps the following prayer might help…

Prayer of Response
Dear Father, forgive me for all the times I have complained to myself or others about the way You made me. I can see that complaining in the dark has only caused me to begin to believe lies about myself and my situation and even to think about myself way more than I should be. Forgive me for believing lies about my body, my personality, my financial status, my family and/or other things. Help me to never complain in the dark again Lord, and show me how to have those conversations with You. Cleanse my heart of the lie that you don’t care about me and my situation. Save me from the thoughts that threaten to drive me away from You. Conquer that inner voice of condemnation and help me to receive the blessing of Your love poured into me every day (Rom.5:5). Forgive me for treating others in the way I treat myself or in the way I have been treated and heal me from this disease of self-focus and even self-hatred. I want to focus on You Lord, because you accept me even when I can’t accept myself. Thank you that Your acceptance of me is sure and eternal because of Christ. That acceptance makes me want to obey You more and more, for You alone extend open arms and open ears and an open heart to me every day of my life. You never tire of me Lord, even though I tire of myself – thank you for being like that. Help me to truly grasp Your acceptance of me and to begin to live like the redeemed, purified, accepted and precious son or daughter you have made it possible for me to be. Amen.

Area #5: Faith

Question #5: Do I Believe God’s Ways Are Higher Than Mine?

Scripture Passages To Ponder

"For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:9)

“From the end of the earth I call to You when my heart is faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I.” (Psalm 61:2)

“and you will know the Truth, and the Truth will make you free.” (John 8:32)

The Ultimate Question
The world around us scoffs at a people dependent on anyone or anything, let alone God and His Word. Even Christians today seem to be less and less likely to “search the Scriptures” or “fast and pray” to find the answers they need. As we look at what God has to say about male/female relationships in general and the redemption of our sexuality in particular, it is really important to take the time needed to allow the Lord to renew our trust in His Word and His ways. That may begin by asking Him to renew your love for His Word, and your ability to see the beauty of His Truth. It is only the Truth that will set us free to enjoy His best inside all of our relationships, but do you believe this? Some of God’s ideas about building intimacy and interdependence across male/female lines really fly in the face of our current culture. Do you believe the wisdom of God makes foolish the wisdom of this world (1 Cor. 3:19)? Are you willing to continue to follow Christ even if He leads you to take some new and uncomfortable steps in your real-life relationships? And here is really the ultimate question: Do you want Christ no matter what it may cost you?

The Most Important Journey
The journey of redeeming a dating culture is a good one to take, but it will only be meaningful if it helps us in the more important journey of our deepening walk with Christ. If you have discovered that your heart has lost it’s ability to tremble at God’s Word (Is. 66:2), or if you have determined a tendency to gain an understanding and then lean upon it (Prov. 3:5) the following prayer might be a good place to start…

Prayer of Response
Lord – forgive me for being wise in my own eyes – forgive me for acting like I know better than You. Forgive me for my neglect of Your Word, which has caused my heart to grow dull in response to it. Change my heart and make your Word come alive to me again. Cause me to hunger to read Your Word and to believe it simply and sincerely. Make me to see the beauty of Your Truth, and cause my heart to deeply believe that it is only Your Truth that will set me free. Help me to believe that it is only by living out Your Truth that I will find the freedom to love and to be loved, on Your terms for Your glory. Help me to speak to you regularly about my fears and disappointments and hopes, and to diligently study Your Word to find out what You actually say about all of this. Even when Your ways go against what my closest friends tell me I should do, give me the courage to follow You. Help me to never give up in this journey – to persevere until I am where You want me to be. Send me wise people who love You and Your Word who can help to guide me as I seek to follow You and find Your best for my life. It seems like change is slow and is a struggle, but I know You can use even my weaknesses for your glory. Forgive me for staying on the sidelines where it is “safe.” Help me to be an active part of what You are doing in the community of believers You have placed me in. Restore my courage in You and Your ability to encourage, inspire and transform people and relationships and even whole communities through me. Show me what my next step of faith is on this journey Lord, and help me to have the courage to take that step today. Amen.

Looking Ahead
Thank you for your interest in this important topic. We value your feedback! Please leave your comments below, and pray for our group of contributors as we work on future articles, plan for future meetings and continue to press on to find God’s best for our lives. Here is an outline of what we hope to share down the road of this journey!

Part 3 (Where Are We Going and How Do We Get There?)
In this article we begin to flesh out the practical elements of a healthy, godly, biblical community as the ideal environment to grow in as believers. In this article we begin to address God’s best for all of our male/female relationships and what that looks like in real life. You won’t believe what you’ve been missing!

Part 4 (Are We There Yet?)
In this article we will discuss ways to determine whether or not your biblical community is on the right track in terms of establishing a redeemed dating culture.

Part 5 (Rules of the Road)
This article is about the practical guidelines we must provide and implement as leaders if we ever hope to achieve and maintain healthy, biblical community.

Part 6 (Reality Check)
This section will contain the real life examples from the young adults in our current fellowship group who have attempted to implement some of the biblical principles we’ve found.

Please pray for us and thank you again for reading! Please share your comments below. For more information on our fellowship group, please visit our website at www.westshoresixten.com

The photo above was taken by our classmate and friend, Nace Howell. And for those bulldozer buffs out there, here is a bit more about it from Nace himself! "The picture...is a Caterpillar D6 LGP (D6 meaning the size of the bulldozer's pushing capacities and LGP meaning "low ground pressure" the tracks are very wide so it can sit on top of very thick mud without getting stuck)." Thanks again Nace!

Scripture quotations taken from the New American Standard Bible®,Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973,1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)

Tired of Trying to Measure Up?

2010-07-24T10:06:00.005-04:00

I have always had a love/hate relationship with this book. At my first reading years ago I threw it in the trash after digesting just two pages. I can remember thinking that this book was impossible. That it was first of all IMPOSSIBLE for any of the stuff I was reading to be true. And second of all, if by some wild stretch of the imagination it WAS true (which I still highly doubted) it would be IMPOSSIBLE for me to change in the ways the book described. Thus the only logical conclusion was to throw it in the trash and move on. Little did I know that reading this book (I went out and humbly purchased another copy a few days later) would be used by God to help me take my first BIG steps toward living within the grace-based system I desperately needed. And honestly, even today I occasionally get the urge to throw this book away! But then God uses it once again to help me stay on (or get back on) the journey of grace Christ died to make possible for me. So I definitely love this book - but sometimes I hate it too - in a good way.

Tired of Trying to Measure Up is a short read (just 169 pages) but a deeply meaningful one - at least to me! In it VanVonderen takes a swing at what many of us hold dysfunctionally near and dear to our hearts, a shame-based and/or performance-oriented system of coping through life. And just in case you don't think you operate by a shame-based or performance-oriented system, just wait! Chapter Two goes through an exhaustive list of the main identifiers for this mentality - here are just a few...

You are highly performance-conscious
You feel as if you don't belong
You use a lot of negative self-talk
You are over-responsible
You set up inappropriate boundaries with others
You suffer from stress-related illness
You can't have guilt-free fun
You don't deal with gifts very well
You have a high need for control

If you can identify yourself in any of the items listed above, this book is for you! Chapters 1 - 7 take us through a (sometimes excruciatingly painful) look at the various shame-based and performance-oriented systems out there. These chapters not only open our eyes to the possible seeds of these systems, they help us get God's perspective on the very destructive force they have. But VanVonderen does not stop there (thank goodness!). He goes on in Part 2 to help us take at least one or two significant steps toward breaking free from any of the systems just described. Here are a few chapter headings from that section...

Breaking the "Give-Up/Try-Hard" Cycle (this one hit the nail on the head for me)
God Says You Don't Have To Live In Shame (a renewal of the mind occurs in this chapter)
God's Stance Toward The Wounded (essential for those who have suffered abuse of any kind)
Fighting the New Fight (step by step instructions for living within the grace system)

I think anyone who wants to grow in their personal experience and expression of grace should read this book! It will not only help you understand why you feel the way you do, it will inspire you to be a grace-based place of health and safety for all those around you (including yourself!). This book also goes really well as a companion book to the bible study I will be teaching this fall, "Gospel in Life" by Tim Keller. Thank you so much for reading this review! (And as always, that last sentence also serves as my thank you note). : ) Enjoy!

Questions From Redeeming Your Dating Culture Articles - Part One

2010-06-16T07:25:00.002-04:00

Since posting part one of this series, we have received many helpful comments and questions from our readers – thank you! We hope you are finding this topic to be generating as much helpful conversation as we are! We thought it would be good to take the time to answer a couple of your questions before posting part two of this series (coming soon!).

Why Not Courtship?
One of the first questions we received concerns the use of the term “dating” as opposed to the term sometimes used to describe the Christian alternative to the pagan understanding of the word “dating” which is the term “courtship.” First, we chose the word “dating” because the term itself makes these articles more easily accessible to a wider range of young adults. The term “courtship” carries with it some widely understood pre-requisites that may not be possible for many of our young adult readers (things like helpfully devoted believing parents or parental surrogates). A term like “dating” not only brings disgruntled former “courtship” participants back to the table, it keeps the door more widely open for those becoming interested in what God’s Word has to say about developing romantic relationships. We are not throwing out the “courtship model” with these articles, but rather seeking to re-define the term “dating” from a biblical perspective in ways that keep the conversation as open as possible.

Why Dating?
The next question we received is why we are addressing dating at all when what we really need is someone to address the needs of our community as a whole. For example the issue of isolationism is huge in today’s churches – people going to church feeling very much alone and then leaving as isolated from relational intimacy as before they arrived. And as we stated in our first post, we are aware that “dating culture” is only one fruit of the deeper root of biblical fellowship. But by addressing this one fruit (dating culture), what we are really doing is addressing the redemption of the expression of our male and female sexuality. Since everyone inside biblical community is either male or female (whether they are dating or not), addressing this topic and coming to some conclusions about it impacts every one of us, regardless our “dating-status.” As you continue to read and be involved, it is our hope that you will discover that our efforts to move this one element of biblical community into the widest swath of God’s grace has helpful implications for every element of our biblical fellowship.

Thanks for your comments!
Thank you so much for your questions and comments! Please keep them coming as it is our desire to work on each post as a community of believers, and we can’t do that without your involvement. You can leave comments or questions in the comments section of any of our posts, or you can email them directly to Kim by clicking here. We hope you have found the conversation helpful and encouraging, and trust the Lord will bless you as you seek His best for whatever biblical community you find yourselves in.

Jesus As Teacher by Nate Winters

2010-06-10T06:34:00.001-04:00

The following article is written by Nate Winters, and I thought you might enjoy it as much as I did this morning. I also want to take this opportunity to share a link to his most recent sermon on Numbers 25 of all things! The title is "Uncommon Zeal" and you can find it by clicking here and scrolling down a bit. This morning I secretly snapped the shot above which is one of my most favorite scenes to wake up to. When I showed it to Nate his response was: “I seriously need to shave my head.” So I hope that made you laugh, and also hope the following article encourages you as you see Jesus for Who He truly is. Enjoy!

Jesus taught. However, when we examine those passages highlighting Him as Teacher, let’s not only examine what He taught, but how He taught, and how He shared Himself with those He taught. It tells us something about Jesus that, on the afternoon of His resurrection, He chose to walk -without first revealing His identity- with just two men, on a road out of town. Take a few minutes and read Luke 24:13-35…

It is approximately 7 miles from Jerusalem northwest to Emmaus. Three men, walking side by side, at a good pace, would take an hour and a half to walk it. When did Jesus join them, how crowded was the route, how low in the sky was the sun? And why this meeting at all? This is what I find so fascinating: what kind of a person suffers so incomprehensibly, then experiences such eternally unprecedented deliverance, and then takes a hike with two depressed and bewildered men!? This narrative teaches us some things about the Teacher, His character and the ways in which He moves forward in ministry:

1. Jesus is pleased to “catch up” with those who are talking about Him. Even when we are saddened or confused by something to do with Jesus, Jesus shows up. We need to keep our honest, daily impressions of Jesus and His work on our lips and in our conversations; and by faith, in a growing relationship with Him, we will welcome His arrival and rejoice when we “see” Him!

2. Jesus does not have to be recognized in order to make Himself heard. These two men were kept from knowing Jesus’ identity at the beginning of their talk, but that didn’t keep their hearts from being effected while they talked. Jesus preached to them, an audience of two, all afternoon and into the evening…and their hearts burned from His presentation of Scripture to them!

3. Jesus may lead with questions that discourage (v17). Jesus already knew what they were discussing and how they were feeling about it. Nevertheless, He addresses them head on, straight up, clearly and forthrightly. He did not avoid their feelings, the expression of their feelings, or them having to experience again their feelings. Jesus loves us enough to push us past our sensitivities!

4. Jesus, undaunted by incredulity, may press for details (Luke 24:18-19a). In accord with the third point, Jesus can be a relentless friend. And as a mark of the maturity He brings into the relationship, He will remain undeterred by honest amazement. In our assessment of a situation and its effect upon us we may marvel, or be overwhelmed by aspects of it –but He is never overwhelmed!

5. Jesus, receiving an honest, accurate answer, may still rebuke for lack of faith (Luke 24:25-26). Honesty is always necessary but it is not “everything”! These men knew Jesus and His ministry intimately; even if they hadn’t they still knew God’s Word. But did they believe it? It spoke and speaks of Jesus. We have the Word of God…and we should know better!

For time’s sake, let me draw more immediate application from the second 5 points:

6. Jesus (a) started at the beginning and (b) shared everything, (c) from just one Source (Luke 24:27). To start where God starts, to say all that God says, and to speak only what God says: we could serve others so well by following this same course through the Bible!

7. Jesus may act as though He is moving on…but responds to “Please stay.” (Luke 24:28-29). When you know Jesus should stay with you for a little while longer, do you insist upon it?

8. Jesus cures blindness amidst the mundane (Luke 24:30-31). When your eyes are opened to something spiritually extraordinary in the middle of your daily routine, do you stop and take note?

9. Jesus explained in ways that left fire (Luke 24:32). Do we know the Scriptures well enough, and are we “in” the Holy Spirit deep enough, to pass along God’s Word in permanently scorching ways?

10. Jesus compelled extraordinary lengths… (Luke 24:33a). How soon would we leave to confirm good news?

My Friend Janie and The New Normal

2010-05-10T17:29:00.008-04:00

The following article was originally posted in November of 2007. I am posting it again as just two days ago (on Saturday, May 8) our dear friend Janie went on ahead of us to be with Christ. I am just one of the many, many people who are already aching for the day when we will see Janie again. And just in case you did not enjoy the blessing of knowing Janie, the article below will hopefully give you a small taste of how amazing she is. Her husband Chris posted an article on his blog here about the day Janie left earth - you can also visit Janie's purple pen and read the comments friends and loved ones have left about her. Here is the original article from 2007, complete with life lessons from Janie herself at the bottom. Janie would laugh to know I posted her article twice on what she always referred to as my "blu-ugh" (I had to force her to contribute). She is already missed terribly, and quite frankly it is hard to live in a world without Janie - but she would scoff at that idea - and so we press on because she would be so aggravated if we moped. We love you Janie. We miss you quite a bit but we are so thankful that you are happy, safe, and having fun. I know when I get there you will already know all the hot spots and all the cool people - I can't wait for you to introduce me around. I don't have any delusions that you are actually reading this blog now, since you didn't read it before, : ) but I'm mostly writing this for me - it's hard to be here without you - didn't realize how hard it would be until you left (which is just like me as you know). You are such a blessing - miss you and love you so much. Love Kim

Janie is one of those people who have the rare ability of making you feel significant in the first five seconds of talking to her. The first time I met Janie I remember walking away thinking “Wow, I really am special.” The next time was no different and in fact every time I’ve ever spent with Janie I’ve had to be careful not to allow her to spoil me by being so interested in my life that we forget to talk about her’s.

Janie has usually done something more interesting in the last five minutes than I’ve done all year. She’s like a “creative-mom-over-achiever” type – the kind with the glue gun and the shrinky dink machine and the idea to build a replica of the white house out of marshmallows. Watching Janie home school was like watching Martha Stewart decorate. (I can almost hear Janie gagging if she would read this). Not that she didn’t have her proud moments of wasting time and eating a pound of chocolate and teaching algebra while napping (Janie, not Martha Stewart), but she really is a good teacher – she has a knack for inspiring a love of learning- something I have been really horrible at and didn’t even realize it until I watched her in action.

For some reason Janie never got the memo that we aren’t supposed to be so devoted to our kids dreams that we actually do crazy things for them like drive them all over the earth, have ALL their friends over each week, and buy them things like sound mixers so they can sound better when they rock out with their Christian band in the too tiny living room. It’s no mystery why Janie had to put an addition onto her house – to make room for the dance-dance revolution parties.

And something I really like about Janie is her intellectual side. Janie is a good reader – and a good thinker. The kind of person who knows surprisingly much about things with names like “nooma” and “continuationism,” but also someone who is careful not to take herself too seriously. When she and I read a bizarre book together called “the Life of Pi,” I thought I would die laughing at points, and at other points was surprised by some of the deep things we both came up with (out from under that boat!).

About 3 years ago Janie was diagnosed with breast cancer. It hit every one of us like 100 pound hail stones. I remember thinking: “Janie has cancer? How can Janie have cancer?” And while we were all reeling from the news, Janie was out there comforting each one, assuring us of her will to fight, of her hope in God. I’m pretty sure Janie is the only person on earth who got cancer and then sent other people care packages.

Recently my heart has been penetrated by some of her words and it’s caused me to do some things differently. Because of this I want to share Janie with you. I’ve been trying to get Janie to start her own blog (she disdainfully refers to mine as my “bl-ugh”) but she refuses – so here is the next best thing, an article by her with some “cancer-edgy” life lessons for anyone who cares. And if you get nothing else out of the ramblings of me and my friend Janie, I hope you’ll pray for her – really pray. Pray that the Lord would completely heal her of the cancer. Thank you so much for doing that. It means a lot to all of us, her friends.

THE NEW NORMAL by Janie Booth
I took my 10 year old to get her glasses adjusted today. Her nose pads had gotten so squished that the bar connecting the two lenses rested right on her nose (She claims her glasses get squished when we hug her too hard - what a rough life!) My daughter hates change and was not happy about the adjustment. "This feels weird," she said, seemingly preferring the bar to the optometrist approved nose pads. "Yeah, it's the new normal” I jokingly replied, “get used to it." "The new normal STINKS!" she said with disdain.

I can relate. Since being diagnosed with breast cancer in 2004 my new "normal" on many occasions stinks. I just finished another round of chemo (8 once a week infusions). Unless a miracle occurs I will be on some kind of chemo for the rest of my life. If I was an Israelite I'd say, "I want to go back to Egypt!" But if I think long and hard about it, there are so many things I (and hopefully my family) have learned on the way that we can't go back. The “new normal” has eternally changed us and made us fit for another place, but certainly not the place we came from. Here are the most important lessons we’ve collected so far…

Lesson #1 - God is in control. I know this sounds cliché, but recently this came home to me in a new, non-cliché kind of way. There was a time (BC - before cancer) when I had it all together. I would tell God what to do and then go about my business. Umm. That's all changed now. Now with everything out of control, I realize I can either fight Him or let Him lead, trusting that He knows best for me, even when it looks bad. I try to listen for His still, small voice when I present my requests to Him and I am learning to wait for His answer.

Lesson #2 - Life is fragile. I am so thankful for every night I get to tuck my kids in. I don't care what kind of day it's been. When I get up and the worst thing about the morning is making school lunches and homework, I rejoice. I hug my husband tight when he comes home for lunch or home at suppertime. I jump in the leaves. I marvel at raindrops. I laugh at my 14 year old's jokes. I take my 16 year old shopping. All of these things, for me, could be gone in a heartbeat and I don't take one moment for granted. I don't want to waste one minute on petty arguments or stupid things that will pass like bad grades, spilled milk, or an unexpected bill. Hey, leave the toothpaste cap off or the toilet seat up! (Ok, I do draw the line on some things – like I refuse to have a bl-ugh and potlucks are an invention long overdue for extinction) :)

Lesson #3 - God chooses the circumstances He planned for my life. I choose how I want to live it. If I need chemotherapy, I can be bitter and angry or I can be happy that there's chemo to get! Either way, I need to get the chemo! I lecture my kids all the time with this. "You can either procrastinate on your homework and make all of us miserable with your complaining and grousing and exhaustion from staying up too late or you can DO IT NOW and have happy down time. Either way, the homework has to be DONE!" (Disclaimer: this lecture has not worked as of yet.) I have a sign on my fridge that simply says "Choose." That one little word helps me remember that I get to have control over one thing in life: my attitude.

Now lest you think I’ve got it all together, rewind to yesterday morning when I sat on our couch, all by myself, crying harder than I've cried in a year. Trying to talk to God through my tears – telling Him that all of this is just too hard. That I can't do it. That He should MAKE IT GO AWAY! Every day is not perfect. And I still have so much to learn. I remember, before I had cancer, reading magazine articles or listening to someone give a talk on life. I was just like anyone else - maybe touched for the moment but not really changed. Things are different for me now. Life is fragile, precious, brief. But what about you? Will you take my advice and live like you don’t have forever to live? Will you enjoy your kids, love your husband, celebrate small victories and ignore things that don’t matter – even if you never get cancer? Words you read on a bl-ugh won't do that. Only Jesus Christ can do that. Only He can give you the eyes to see the marvelous in the mundane. That’s my prayer for you. It’s my prayer for me too.

Seeking the Face of God by Gary Thomas

2010-05-07T07:00:00.006-04:00

I received the book: Seeking the Face of God by Gary Thomas from a dear friend as a Christmas gift in 1995. I think one of the main reasons I first read it was because the friend who gave it to me had a great deal of suffering in her life, and yet maintained a profound joy in the Lord. On the inside front cover she wrote… “I delight in you my sweet, sweet sister! I pray the King of the Universe will use us together to bring Him great glory!” There was something so compelling about her love for Christ and for others - I wanted to know everything she knew so that I could enjoy that same love. I read every book she ever gave me and have been so blessed as a result.  Praise God for friends who give books!

Seeking the Face of God is a small book, (about 200 pages ) but it packs a gigantic punch! It is a virtual treasure trove of ancient wisdom – quotes and excerpts of ancient Christian writers that Thomas weaves together in an understandable and helpful way. Each quote or statement has something profound to say about our love relationship with Jesus Christ. Every page still speaks volumes to me today - even after reading this book several times!

I think the most important thing about this book is the author’s thirst for God. This has always been what I look for in any author I read – someone who loves God most of all. In reading this book, you can’t help but discern Thomas’ genuine love for Christ and his passion to serve Him and know Him at all costs.

From my first read back in 1995, it struck me that Thomas wanted me to put Christ where He belongs, in the center of everything. I liked this as it resonated with what I had been learning from my (then new) husband and his ministry philosophy of reaching young adults with Who God is. Thomas gave me more insights into this by taking me down “the ancient path” (Jeremiah 6:16) and bringing to life the lives and writings of deeply devoted believers who lived long ago.  These were people I had never heard of before with names like Francois Fenelon, Teresa of Avila, John of the Cross, John Climacus and William Law. I was amazed that people like this even existed and were well known by many! As I read their insights into how to more deeply enjoy a relationship with God, I felt like someone who had suddenly discovered the pearl of great price – I was determined to buy the whole field – which is exactly what I did! After reading this book, I quickly purchased several books by the ancient authors themselves and grew by leaps and bounds simply by being further exposed to their passionate love for Christ. Even today I regularly refer to a book by Fenelon (a compilation of letters he wrote to a friend) that I discovered as a result of reading this book - but that’s another book review!

This book is like a survey of the ancients – not too much to overwhelm, and not too little to make you feel like you are wasting your time. Thomas gives us the perfect “taste” of each ancient author - just enough to stimulate our hearts and minds and whet our appetite for more. Like Goldilocks so eloquently put it: “this porridge is just right!” It is a book that God used to jumpstart my deeper journey into the writings of the ancients – but is also a great way to get a working knowledge of who the Christian ancients are and what their lives and writings are about - something very beneficial I think.

My favorite chapter in the book (and the chapter that had the biggest impact on me) was Living in a Dying World: The Remembrance of Death. Sounds like a real upper I know – but indeed it is! I think the most encouraging thing about this chapter is that it dealt with a topic that caused me much alarm and discomfort - death and dying. “Death can be a Comforter” was a section that changed my life forever. Since reading it I have never looked at death the same.

I hope you’ll take the time to read this little jewel of a book. It is one I refer back to time and again, and is definitely a staple in my biblical counseling tool chest. Since writing this book, Thomas has written several other wonderfully helpful and insightful books, but none of them have impacted me quite as strongly as this one. May God bless you as you read this book, and may He encourage you to press on in your walk with Him.

Love in Christ, Kim

Redeeming Your Dating Culture - Part 1

2010-04-30T06:58:00.008-04:00

Most of the single, young adults I’ve known over the years simply resign themselves to the dating culture that’s been handed to them. Some complain about it, others tolerate it – but relatively few find it the exceedingly enjoyable and compelling thing that God intends it to be. That’s where these articles come in. A few of us from our local young adult fellowship group called SixTen (http://www.westshoresixten.com/) have set out to gain a better understanding of God’s design for Christian relationships, and in particular, potentially romantic ones.

Why Dating Culture?
The health of a dating culture (or lack thereof) is a good gauge for the overall health of biblical community. Show me a group of young adults that “date” in ways that cause others to love Christ more, and I will show you a group of people who have discovered something radically transformational about relationships in general. And that’s ultimately what we are interested in, radical transformation of biblical community at large – not just one aspect of it. But we focus on “dating culture” primarily because it is meaningful to an age group currently seen leaving the church in droves – young adults in their mid to late 20’s (see 2010 Pew Research study on this topic here). And while dating culture is only the fruit of the deeper root of biblical fellowship – it is a really good place to start for those of us interested in growing the biblical community of young adults.

Who Kissed Dating Goodbye?
Despite all the books, seminars, dvds and retreats devoted to the topic of Christian dating – the dating culture of today’s church falls abysmally short of what God intends. Ask any bible believing evangelical how enjoyable his or her “dating experience” or “fellowship experience” within the church is, and you will most likely get a look of confusion as though you are asking about something that does not exist. Those who do understand will communicate some level of dissatisfaction. Some are patiently enduring their Christian dating world until marriage (hopefully) comes around. Others are not as patient, (nor as eager to marry), but are by and large unable or unwilling to do anything productive with the frustration they feel. Still others are actually hostile about their experience and what they perceive is just a watered down version of the world’s dating system anyway. Those of this latter group combine their disappointment in Christian fellowship generally with their negative Christian dating experience and sadly feel justified in dumping the church altogether. Those of us inside the church chalk that decision up to the “lostness” of the individual rather than to our own failings as a relational community. This misunderstanding only drives the disappointed person further away from the church, while simultaneously making those of us within the church less and less able to address the two-dimensionalism of our fellowship. We see people leaving in droves, (especially young adults) and we continue to place the weight of the problem on their shoulders rather than where it belongs – on ours.

What’s the Answer?
The Bible paints a picture of fellowship that starkly contrasts the common evangelical experience. Here we see non-married (even non-dating) people enjoying one another so much that they are crying whenever they are apart (2 Tim. 1:4). We hear leaders expectantly urging everyone to “fervently love one another deeply from the heart” (1 Peter 1:22). We see examples of fellowship so sweet that others are comforted by it from afar (Philemon 1:7). We find believers spending longer and longer hours together, even well past their bedtimes! (Acts 20:9). Those driven from their childhood homes because of Christ are told they should expect to find 100 times as much love and comfort from their relationships inside the church (Mark 10:29-31). Still others experience miracles and wonders in the midst of their fellowship experience, perhaps because God was just so pleased with their community. (Acts 2:42-43). If this is what the normal Christian life is supposed to look like – if this is what God expects to be happening in our lobbies, small groups and Sunday school classes - I think we might be missing something! And yet this is exactly what young adults in particular are longing for inside the church – something real, tangible and supernatural that stands in stark contrast with what the world has to offer.

Our Hope
But seeing where we need to be and getting there are two very different things. It’s our hope these articles will help us navigate our way back to the healthy, interdependent and even intimate fellowship God made possible for us through Christ alone. It’s our prayer that by searching the Scriptures and applying what we find there (and sharing what we’ve learned) God will grant us genuine revival at the grassroots level of every relational community that needs it. Big goals for sure, but only as big as the promises we find in God’s Word! And we are so glad you are interested in being a part of this journey. Please let us know about you by leaving your comments below, or sending an email to our web page. Come back to this site to get future posts on the topic. Following is an overview of what we hope to cover in future entries.

Part 2 (Hope For The Journey)
Changing your young adult dating culture is no small feat! Starting this journey requires the pre-requisite of having hope in our hearts to finish it. This will require taking the time to examine our individual and corporate hearts on the topic of relationships, dating and God’s provision. This article is a prayerful journey of self-examination and understanding that we hope will help us lay a healthy foundation for building a deeper and more enjoyable biblical community down the road.

Part 3 (Where Are We Going and How Do We Get There?)
In this article we get a better idea of what healthy, godly, biblical community looks like on the practical, real-life level - in particular what is God’s best for all of our male/female relationships and how can we individually and corporately begin to take actual steps in that direction in real life? You won’t believe what we’ve discovered!

Part 4 (Are We There Yet?)
In this article we will discuss ways to determine whether or not your biblical community is on the right track in terms of establishing a redeemed dating culture, and ways to get it back on track as needed.

Part 5 (Rules of the Road)
This article is about the practical guidelines we must provide and implement as leaders if we ever hope to achieve and maintain healthy, biblical community.

Part 6 (Reality Check)
This section will contain the real life examples from the young adults in our current fellowship group. You’ll hear from actual young adults who have attempted to implement some of the biblical principles we’ve discussed in previous articles. You’ll also hear feedback from those who went about dating in the wrong way, and the lessons they’ve learned.

Please pray for us as we work together to bring these to you, and thank you again for reading! Please share your comments below. For more information on our fellowship group, please visit our website at http://www.westshoresixten.com/

Photo above is of two previously dating (now engaged) young adults from our SixTen fellowship group.

Scripture quotations taken from the New American Standard Bible®,Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973,1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)

This Is My Story

2010-01-22T07:06:00.006-05:00

Recently I shared my testimony at a women's event at our church called "This Is My Story." Below is the transcript from that message. You can also listen to the audio from on the player near my picture in the sidebar of this blog. Thank you for caring enough to read this - and also special thanks to all of you who prayed for me before, during and after this event. Blessings!

This Is My Story
I was born in Grand Rapids Michigan at Butterworth Hospital on April 21, 1968. I was born again just 8 miles away and 18 years later on the campus of Calvin College. It was there, in chapel, that I heard the gospel for the first time.

Which was strange for me because I had grown up in church and called myself a christian. I was very familiar with all the different parts of the gospel – I knew God was holy. I knew Jesus was God’s Son. I knew he died on a cross and I knew he rose again from the grave. If you had known me back then you would have said I was saved. But it wasn’t until that chapel service that God put all the pieces together for me. For the first time I understood that what Christ did on the cross had to do with me personally. He did it because of something I personally, desperately needed. I learned that because of my sin I needed a Savior – someone willing and able to take the blame for the bad things I had done (and would still do) and to even be punished for those things, just as if He had done them. I learned that the only One able to be that person was Jesus Christ. I finally understood that if I wanted to be able to have a relationship with a holy God, both in this life now and after I died, I would need to come to Him on His terms, namely by faith in His Son, Jesus Christ.

But this was all radically new information for me, and I can remember looking around at everyone like: Wow – can you believe what this guy is saying? But they didn’t seem as enthralled as I was – some of them weren’t even listening!

I would learn later that the reason they weren’t listening was because they had heard all of this before. All my college friends had grown up in evangelical Christian places. They had gone to Christian school, Christian camp, Christian clubs - even Christian stores! I on the other hand didn’t know these things existed until I arrived on Calvin’s campus back in 1985. I was a senior in highschool, and a girl I worked with at a children’s clothing store invited me back to her dorm to meet her “college” friends. And here was this amazing place, right in the middle of the town I grew up in, full of cute boys who weren’t doing illegal things. And I thought to myself, this is the place for me! And the only reason I decided I wanted to go to Calvin - truly the ONLY reason - was because of one of those cute boys in particular. Of course the story my parents heard (and at this point I think still believe) was that I wanted to go to Calvin for their broadcasting department. Little would they ever know (until now) that my academic passions were all centered on a dutch Christian reformed guy named Keith VerBeek.

But getting back to that chapel service - my friend’s boredom with the message didn’t deter me from listening. In fact I remember feeling like the speaker was speaking directly to me and only me. I felt like I was in one of those science fiction scenes when everyone else freezes, and it’s just you who isn’t frozen, and you feel like the only person in the world still alive. And that’s when the speaker said something that shocked me and made me sit straight up in my seat. He told me that if I believed all those things about Jesus Christ, that I needed to make a choice, right there in chapel.

That I needed to choose to put all of my hope and trust in what Christ did on the cross as being good enough to forgive me of my sin – to either put my faith in what Christ did completely, or to walk away from Him – right then and there. As soon as chapel ended I quickly ran back to my dorm room so that I could talk to God privately. I told God that I didn’t want to walk away from Him – that I would never walk away from Him again. I told Him I believed what I had heard - that I believed I was a sinner, and that He was the only Savior for me. I asked Him to forgive me of my sin and to be MY Savior. I told Him that I didn’t understand everything (I had never read a bible at that point, although I possessed a really big one that I carried around with my name embossed on the front) that I didn’t know exactly what this would mean for me, or my life - but that I definitely wanted to start a relationship with Him that lasted forever. And that was the day I began my love relationship with God – the most important day of my life.

Now to share with you the part of my journey that I feel most compelled by Him to share, I have to back up a bit, to before I got saved. From a very young age I was a classic people pleaser. I started with simple things like wanting to make my parents proud, or wanting to be loved by the people at church, in my school, etc. Nothing unusual, except perhaps the occasional odd confession – like the story my mom tells of how I would sometimes annoy her by confessing strange things – like when I confessed that I was so sorry that I had used what I thought might be too many squares of toilet paper and would she please forgive me, or another time confessing to her that I had peed in the lake while we were at the beach last week, and should we try to find the people I swam with and ask for their forgiveness?

But at some point my people pleasing tendency morphed into something much more unhealthy. I have sometimes referred to it as the time in my life when I was running on a gigantic treadmill with 10,000 carrots dangling out in front of me. And when I say carrots, I’m referring to that idiom of the carrot on the string – the one based on the story of the boy on the donkey cart. And the boy wanted to get his donkey moving - and he knew his donkey loved carrots, so he got this great idea to take a long stick, and take a carrot and a string, and tie one end of the string to the carrot, the other end to the stick. Then he would hold that carrot out in front of the donkey to get him to move forward. As the donkey moved forward to get the carrot, he pulled the cart forward (and the boy). Since the carrot always remained out of reach, the donkey continued to move forward.

That is a really good picture of my life for a number of years – only for me there were 10,000 (possibly more) “carrots” (quote unquote) that I myself had assembled before me, and under my feet was this gigantic treadmill (so I never actually got anywhere, and I did so at a tremendous speed) and I had no idea who was driving this whole thing forward, but whoever it was – I felt like they didn’t like me too much. But of course at the time I had no idea this was what things looked like in reality - I only believed I was living life the way it must be lived – the way everyone lived it. And so I went forward, feeling like I was burdened by nothing more than the usual burdens of a normal life. But pretty soon my particular set of carrots started growing and expanding in some unbearable ways. It wasn’t enough for me to make my parents proud, I wanted to make them ecstatic. I wasn’t satisfied with doing a good job at work – I wanted my employers to genuinely believe they never had, nor would they ever have again, an employee quite as special and as valuable as I was. I had several sets of carrots for each relative, each friend, each event in life. I had boyfriend carrots and housekeeping carrots – even a thank you note carrot.

And can I just pause here and explain the thank you note carrot. My mom and my sister are amazing thank you note people. If you give either of them a gift, no matter how small or insignificant, you will have a thank you note in your hands in like seven seconds after the gift has been received. It’s amazing! Sometimes they’ll even send thank you notes for things that most people don’t send thank you notes for, like a phone call – like I’ll call my mom – hi mom, how are you – oh fine, etc. And then in two days: “Dear Kimmy, thank you so much for calling me and thinking of me. You are a special daughter…” And these aren’t just any thank you notes either – these are those special kind with the stamps and ribbons, and embossing and streamers – sometimes the thank you note I get back for whatever thing I did is better than the thing I did in the first place! Sometimes I even get that “double thank you note” pressure going – like “should I write a thank you note for this thank you note?”

So anyway – it got so bad at one point that I realized I was dreading it when people would give me gifts – I’d be like: Oh, no, really – don’t give me anything. And I was secretly just trying to avoid the thank you note carrot from dangling over my head, accusing me of being unthankful, making me feel like I am horrible, and weird and what is wrong with me and why can’t I just embosse hand made thank you notes like normal people? To this day if you give me a gift, I will most likely say something like…thank you so much for this gift, and this sentence I’ve just spoken also serves as my thank you note.”

And some of my carrots were funny and I dealt with them in funny ways – but some of them weren’t so funny. Like the carrot of holding marriages together, or the carrot of being skinnier than anyone I knew, or the carrot of never doing anything that might accidentally cause pain to anyone. I just kept adding and adding carrots and someone kept putting them more and more out of reach and I would get more and more disgusted with myself for not reaching all of them, and sometimes I would do things to punish myself for not being good enough, or skinny enough or wise enough, or careful enough. My eating disorder in particular actually became a way to punish myself for failing at what I wanted to accomplish. The pain of starving myself or making myself throw up was a way I would punish myself, but at the same time it made me feel good about how serious I was about getting this carrot! And not everyone’s eating disorder originates from this line of thinking, but for me it did, and was all wrapped up in this complex system of performance-oriented love I had been carefully growing over the years.

And even after I was born again, I brought this way of coping with life into my life with Christ. I did not try to earn my salvation – since that day I have always trusted in what Christ did on the cross as the only thing good enough to make a way for me into heaven, but I was trying to earn his affection, in my own strength, and on my own terms – indeed I really knew no other way of relating to people or events than the carrot on the string model.

When I learned that Christ loves a cheerful giver, I made a carrot that constantly accused me of being a horrible giver. When I learned that Christ expects us to pray, I made a prayer carrot that was always getting bigger and further out of reach. The more carrots I made with Christ’s name on them, the less I wanted to be around Jesus or His people. Life with Christ was just like life with everyone else, only there were infinitely more expectations, and not nearly enough prizes. Over time I began to get the feeling that the more I got to know this Jesus, the more horrible I would feel about the relationship. And yet I had promised to never walk away from Christ, and so I kept adding spiritual carrots along with the other ones – and the system grew and grew and became more and more difficult to manage.

It got to the point where I was adding a new carrot almost every day, and the ones from my childhood were all still there as well. And meanwhile someone was driving the whole system faster and faster. I remember feeling like life was moving so quickly now, and my failures seemed to be coming at me at greater and greater speed. And the sense of condemnation I would experience when I failed at reaching a carrot was increasing also. And I began to realize that much of my running and running was now an effort to avoid that condemning voice. That voice from within myself that seemed to always be saying something like: What’s wrong with you? You are pathetic. Nobody wants to be around you. I was running and running at break neck speed – and I was getting more and more tired. And the more tired I became, the more things I failed at, and the louder that condemning voice became. And I was just so tired. Tired of running and not getting anywhere, tired of getting somewhere and not being satisfied, tired of carrots, and extremely tired of myself.

For any of you out there who have lived by this system, you know that there are times when the whole thing just breaks down in one big ugly mess. And it’s really not a pretty picture. Things are just rolling along, rolling along – you’re running the universe you’ve created just fine and then, suddenly – often without any warning – everything comes crashing to a screeching halt. Carrots go flying – treadmill gears grind and break and burst into flames - You yourself go flopping down in a pile (sometimes the treadmill actually shoots you across the room, and you hit the wall and then the floor) and you land in a heap (or a puddle) and usually, regardless of how bad the break down was, you assume the fetal position and want everyone to leave you alone forever.

And this was what would often happen to me. Things would be chugging along and suddenly – without warning, I would be in bed and no one could get me out of bed. Or sometimes I would be so full of despair I would lie face down on the floor with my teeth literally in the carpet. And I didn’t want to get up, and anyone who tried to help me up I hated. And I knew this kind of thing wasn’t good – but I was pretty good at keeping it from getting out of hand. Only one time did my mom threaten to take me to a mental health place if I continued being so unhealthy. Only one time was someone really concerned about my despairing tendencies. And since I thought this was the normal way of life, I truly believed I was just the only idiot on the planet that couldn’t just buck up and deal with it. I would look around and see these people knocking themselves out and moving forward – why couldn’t I do that? And then there were others who failed miserably but didn’t seem to even care? Why couldn’t I be like that?

And then I met this really wise person (it was the guy I would later marry – Pastor Nate) who gave me a book called “Tired of Trying to measure up” and I read the first page and threw it immediately into the garbage. (that’s what I do if I read something that is so true it scares me). And the book made me see what I was doing – and it totally freaked me out. It was like pulling back the curtain in the wizard of oz and seeing an old man there pulling levers. I remember throwing the book away and shaking my head and saying that’s a bad book – there’s something wrong with that book. But I had already read enough to crack the foundation of my world – so I went out and bought another copy (I didn’t want Nate to know I had thrown his away), and read it cover to cover in one day. I was aghast at how accurately it described what I was doing and experiencing. It described the carrots, and the treadmill and even the condemning voice I was so afraid of. It was as if the person who wrote this book had been secretly trailing me through life, writing down my every move! The Lord used this book to show me something very shattering – that I was running myself to death on the very system Christ died to free me from. I learned at this time that once I was born again, my value in life (and death) was to come from Him – not from something I did or did not do – but from Jesus Christ who now lived within me.

And I knew Jesus Christ lived in me, but until that point I had not really understood what that meant. Yes I knew that because Christ lived in me I was forgiven of my sins – but I learned that there was more to my salvation than I at first realized. I learned that when I trusted Christ as my personal Savior – He not only took away my sin - He applied His righteousness to my life as well. That means, when God looks at me, He doesn’t see someone who He wishes would just try a little harder – someone that just never seems to measure up to what she should be – (sadly I have learned over the years that many, many women believe God views them in this way). But rather, when He looks at me (and you if you are saved) He sees Jesus Christ, and all the wonderfully holy, righteous things Jesus did, and does, and is. So I have never fasted and prayed for 40 days (if I had, I would feel like a pretty spiritual person!) but because of Jesus, from God’s perspective, I have done that at least once, because Jesus did that at least once. And I have never walked on water, or healed a leper, or memorized the entire Bible or preached the most amazing sermon ever preached. But because I am in Christ – the most amazing part of the gospel for me was learning that for me (and you if you are saved) God views us as though we have done all of those things, plus NONE of the bad things we’ve actually done.

And someone will say – well, if you believe that, then what keeps you from just becoming born again and then running off and living like the devil? And that question actually comes from the devil I think. Because the real question is – if you believe this is true – if you truly believe this, everything in you will just want to love and serve this amazing Savior! You won’t want to run away from Him – NEVER! Why run away from Someone Who loves you this much? Just the opposite is true – when you actually begin to understand and believe what exactly He did for you on the cross – your response will always and forever be – I love you – help me to love you more.

And this was amazing news to me, and exciting and extremely scary all at the same time. Scary because I knew it was not going to be enough for me to just learn all of this – scary because Jesus was asking me to do something about it. And here I had taken 20 years to craft this elaborate OTHER way of coping with life – a way of motivating myself and getting what I needed and keeping things under control – MY control. (now granted – the system had some minor flaws, but it was my flawed system, and I knew how it worked.) Now Jesus was asking me, through this book and His Word and some other wise people to abandon my way of living and to adopt this other way to live – this grace way – this unconditional love way and this radically dependent on Christ (not myself) way.

And it was so glorious and so frightening at the same time. Glorious because it sounded exactly like what I knew in my heart I needed – and frightening because I could see at a glance that this new system was going to be entirely outside of my control. And also – it was very unfamiliar to me in terms of how it all worked. I knew the carrot and string system inside and out – but I had lots of questions about this grace system thing. Questions like…What would I look like if I stopped chasing after carrots? Would people like me? Would they still laugh at my jokes? Can I even still tell jokes? How would I control my feelings in this new system? Why would people need me if I stopped fixing everything for everyone? How will people know about my value in Christ? And many other questions besides. But even though I did not have answers for any of these questions right away - the Lord in His mercy enabled me to move forward anyway – He led me step by step, out of my old way of thinking and behaving, and into my new life with Him.

The first thing He led me to do was to take all the carrots I was currently aware of and give them to Him. This was a lot harder than it sounds! Jesus doesn’t always deal with our carrots the way we want Him to! And for me, turning over control to anyone, even a perfectly holy, all powerful being who made me was impossible to do. But He showed me that He is truly the only One Who can be trusted with carrots – He’s the only One Who knows everything and plans everything and controls everything. I cried out to Him to help me do it, and amazingly, He did. One by one I turned them over, starting with the one that had gotten the most out of hand – my weight carrot. I told Jesus as I handed that one over that no matter what weight He wanted me to be, I would still love and serve Him. That I was going to stop doing sinful things to keep my weight on my terms – that I was trusting Him with it. That I wanted my value to come from Him and His love for me – and not from my weight. Then I handed it over and took it back and handed it over again, and held onto part of it while He held most of it, and it really took a while to give that whole carrot to Jesus Christ, but He helped me, bit by bit, and today I can tell you He has been holding that carrot entirely for me for over 17 years. And sometimes I try to take it back and set it up on a string, but the string always breaks, and it just never works like it used to! (praise God).

And then there was the carrot of disappointing people next. And as I handed that one over I told Jesus that even if it was His will that everyone would be disappointed in who I was – even if it was His will that I might make a mistake that causes someone I love dearly a great deal of pain or difficulty – that I would still love and serve Him. That I wanted my value to come from what He thought of me - not what others thought. That I really still wanted people to like me, and think of me in good ways, but if for some reason it was His will that they didn’t – even if it was His will that I would cause an accident that would cause lots of pain and everyone would wish I had never lived – even if that was His will – I would not stop loving and serving Him – I would wait for Him to help me through that and to use it for good in my life. And on, and on., one carrot at a time, I turned things over to Christ. At first I wasn’t aware of how many carrots I had – I would have guessed 10. But after I had turned over the first 10, another one showed up and I would turn that one over and then another one, and so on.

I found it so wonderful about Christ that He never overwhelmed me with how many I would need to turn over to Him. He dealt with them one by one, and He didn’t move on to the next one until I had completely turned over the one He had pointed out. One by one He gave me the power to turn them over and leave them within His control. And slowly, VERY slowly, I was surrendering my life to Christ’s total control. And it was painful, and at times excruciatingly so. There were times when I would run up and try to grab all of the carrots back from Him. Life without carrots is too hard! Life without the motivation of carrots and condemnation – I’m not made for that life! And He would gently refuse to give me the carrots back. If I did happen to grab one anyway, or make a new one, the stick would break, or I’d fall off the treadmill immediately. It was so frustrating following Christ! In the beginning of this transition - half the time I was angry, the other half of the time I at the very least crabby. This was the season in my life when I learned who my true friends were (I think I ended up determining that there were two and one of them was my mom). But little by little I began to see a change.

One of the biggest changes was in the area of my temper. I used to have a very violent temper – I would lash out at people who I perceived were rejecting me (mostly because I was constantly dealing with that inward voice of condemnation and rejection – one more drop of it would just send me over the edge.) But slowly I began to see a new spirit emerge within me. Oh people still rejected me, but their rejection had less and less power over me. I had more and more power to return good for evil, not just on my really spiritual days either. My sense of being a “beloved” child of God was growing – and my sense of being the condemned failure was dissipating.

But certainly none of this was easy, and most of it was ugly. There were times when I would have to cry out to the Lord “take it! Take it! Take it! (even in public places I would sometimes do this!) but you know what is such good news? He would take it all – every time, without asking me accusing, condemning questions – He just quietly took all the pain, the fears – the carrots – all of it, every time. And He would remind me this is exactly what He wants to do. He would tell me over and over again…

"Come to Me all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest."

The next thing He showed me to do was to allow Him to silence the voice of condemnation that had driven me all those years. For some people this voice comes from another person or people - but that wasn’t the way it was for me. Sure I had your occasional bad run ins with negative people - but the people closest to me have actually always been extremely loving, supportive and encouraging to me. My parents especially were amazingly positive, encouraging people. I think that’s why they never understood what in the world I was doing with all of these strange confessions and self-punishment. Remember how I made one of my carrots to be that it wasn’t enough for my parents to be proud of me – but I wanted them to be ecstatic with me? They usually were – even with small things – and not only that – they made big deals about everything I have ever done or said – every milestone – every award. If you go to my house and look at my mother’s photo albums especially, you can literally watch me age on a moment by moment basis. So why did I think like this? Where in the world was all this condemnation coming from?

And that’s when Christ showed me, through His Word, that for believers, any kind of condemning voice is coming from satan himself. That it is satan who lives to accuse believers, night and day. And so I learned that anyone who condemns another person - or in other words, anyone who tries to motivate another person with ridicule or mockery or blame or rejection – they are just doing satan’s dirty work for him. And I knew right away that for whatever reason, I had given part of myself to be used by satan in my own life – but now what should I do? I had allowed it to go on for so long without question - I was not powerful enough to stop that voice now, even though I desperately wanted to. Indeed I would have promised you had you spoken to me at that time that I NEVER be able to stop thinking the way that I did.

But Jesus Christ had other plans for my mind. He assured me that what I was powerless to do, He was more than able to accomplish. He taught me how to hide myself in Him. One of the ways I did this was whenever I did something or did not do something that caused that condemning voice or feeling to happen - I would run over to Christ and tell him what was going on inside of me - and Christ would take that lie and replace it with His Truth. When I heard inside my head: “You’re a failure!” I would run over to Christ who would carry that for me and tell me: “You are Mine!” When I would hear a voice saying to me: “You’ll never be able to keep this up!” Instead of holding onto that myself, and worrying about it and panicking – I would just bring that whole idea to Christ and He would tell me every time - “I will carry you.” When I was told: “If people really knew how ugly you are inside, they would all reject you immediately.” I take that dark thought to Christ in prayer, and He would say to me – “I know you – I see you, and I love you – and I will never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never, leave you nor forsake you.” And each time Christ would remind me - That there is therefore now NO CONDEMNATION for those who are in Christ Jesus.

And I learned that being motivated by condemnation is actually a very bad thing. It is the system of the underworld, and is nothing a believer in Christ should have anything to do with. Yes we sin, and when we do (if we are saved) we are convicted by the Holy Spirit and should forsake that sin and run back to Christ. But being convicted of sin and feeling condemned are two very different things. And He began to give me the courage to confront that condemning voice whenever I encountered it – first when I encountered it in myself, and then when I encountered it in other people – even well-meaning believers. And I’m still confronting that condemning voice, both in myself and in other people 10 years later – and I have had the joy of helping others break free from the try hard/give up cycle, and together we have learned to love the benefits of loving and serving the God of grace, and hiding in the shadow of His wings.

And perhaps you have been sitting here, convicted that you have been that condemning voice in someone else’s life. (and that is a very uncomfortable thought). And you recognize in yourself the tendency to use things like rejection and disgust to motivate someone , perhaps someone you love dearly. And to you I say, turn your eyes upon Jesus Christ. Only He can stand guard over your heart and convict you when you try to use that voice – but you have to invite Him to stand there. Even today I completely rely on the conviction of Christ for when I fall back into condemnation mode, usually out of fear or exhaustion. And He is so faithful – He is helping me to get better and better at recognizing that voice for what it is. He helps me to more and more hate being used as a tool in the hand of the enemy in the lives of the people I love. I’m getting quiicker and quicker at repenting of this, and you can too – you WILL too, as you invite Christ into the situation and DEPEND on Him.

And perhaps you are suffering under that try-hard, give up cycle yourself. Perhaps you are running and running on that treadmill I described with a million carrots in front of you and a voice of condemnation screaming at you from behind. And these words I’m saying are ringing true in your heart, but you feel like that smoldering wick, and you fear just one more failure, just one more look of rejection or feel of condemnation and that light will go out completely. And to you I say – turn your eyes upon Jesus Christ. Relief – ultimate relief - can only be found inside a love relationship with Him. And though people and situations and the devil himself may continue to try to condemn you, it is by the power of Christ that you will say with Him – (and me) there is now NO CONDEMNATION for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Let’s pray…

Scripture quotations taken from the New American Standard Bible®,Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973,1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)

The Hiding Place

2009-10-22T07:02:00.005-04:00

Our family has been reading The Hiding Place aloud after dinner, and it has changed our lives forever. I highly recommend you read this book - and to help inspire you -the first five people who place a comment to this article are going to receive a free copy of the book from me! Just leave your comment, and include your email address so that I can find out your home address. For further inspiration - please read an article just posted by a dear friend of ours on his blog here. Our God is great.and He loves you so! Now go get that book - or be the first five to leave a comment and receive your free copy! Blessings!

Miracles

2009-08-19T12:15:00.006-04:00

I wanted to take some time to write down some of the big and small miracles leading up to and through our last two years here in Mechanicsburg. For those of you who have read every article on my blog – wait, no one has done that, not even my mom. But for those of you who have read the family updates (or at least a few of them) you already know a bit about all that has been going on. As we have just rounded a corner following a lengthy trial, I wanted to share some of the details with you while they are fresh in my mind and heart. My hope is to encourage you (and myself) with this good news: God is in control (of every detail), He has a plan, and He loves you (and me) very much.

To give you a tiny bit of background - before coming to West Shore Evangelical Free Church in Mechanicsburg, we lived in the Adirondacks for about 10 years. Prior to the Adirondacks, Nate had begun work on his doctorate at T.E.D.S. which focused on the specific ways to impact post moderns with Who God is. In 1997 a Christian ministry approached Nate and asked him to create and direct a discipleship program based on this material that would take place in the Adirondacks. We knew that a wilderness setting would be ideal for a more focused, life-changing experience (plus we loved the mountains) so we accepted the call and moved our family to Speculator, NY. For the next ten years we enjoyed a very fruitful season of ministry there, while also believing deep down that the Lord would one day call us back to ministry in the suburbs. But despite being open to that, (and even desiring it), the Lord never made a way for us to return. It seemed, in fact, that the Lord was leading in the opposite direction, and was calling us to deny our logic and say “yes” to His call to live out our days in a remote location, serving Him faithfully and contentedly in a small corner of His world. In obedience to this conviction, we made plans to settle down permanently in Piseco, NY.

To make a long story short, just one year later the Lord clearly showed us that our time in the Adirondacks was over. We had just taken a year to build a five-bedroom dream home on Lake Piseco. I remember the day that it dawned on me that we were not staying. I did not want to pray for several days after that. I could not believe the Lord would do this to us – lead us to the point of putting down some serious roots only to have us pull them up again and leave. I praise God for those friends and family who stood by us and helped us to think clearly at this very difficult and confusing time.

And I must say at this point that when the Lord closes a door, He does not always open a window. True believers know this to be true. In fact, I think it is the enemy of our souls who opens the window right away and screams at us: “JUMP!” But the Lord is content to close all the doors and the windows, and the escape hatches and have us sit for a while in the dark. And that is exactly what He did. And I think this is really important to remember. Out of everything I have learned through our past 12 years especially, this lesson has come home the most: WAIT FOR THE LORD.

And so we waited, and waited, and waited. God’s grace was there, and the pain was there too – grace and pain together, with no end in sight that made any sense at all. And then one day we received an email from the senior pastor of West Shore Evangelical Free Church, telling us about an opening they had and requesting we apply. And this was very interesting to us, because we had not applied to West Shore Evangelical Free church, nor did we know they were looking for anyone. But the church was not unfamiliar to us at all. In 1995 Nathan had interacted with this same senior pastor on the phone, and we actually have an audio recording of Nathan from 1995 saying what a wonderful conversation this was, and how much he enjoyed it and was encouraged by this brother in Christ he had not met before (the audio recording was from when we used to try to save on long distance phone bills, so we would make audio cassettes and send them to relatives!). Then in 1998 I was asked to be the keynote speaker for West Shore’s women’s retreat – the theme was Eternal Treasures. This was a wonderful experience for me, which included receiving a compilation of survey comments from those who attended my sessions. Out of all the comments I received, I remember fixating on one comment in particular – probably because it was slightly less encouraging than all the other comments. : ) The comment said: “I liked the speaker, but she was a little young, I would like to hear from her in ten years.” I remember thinking back then: “TEN YEARS! I trust the Lord will come back before then!” And I also remember thinking in my pride: “I am not ‘a little young.’” (HA!) Even though looking back now I wonder that I had anything to share at all! But little did I know this comment was a prophecy just waiting to be fulfilled! Ten years later the Lord would bring me back to this body of believers and that very same person would hear from me again just as she said she had wanted to (I hope she really did!). But this was not the reason the head pastor emailed us – he emailed because they were searching to fill a position and at a crucial moment in the search, the Lord laid it on the heart of one of their members (a former student from the program Nathan led in the Adirondacks) to go to his office and tell him about us. One thing led to another, and about three months later we were moving to Mechanicsburg.

A couple other weird and miraculous things: When we moved to Mechanicsburg, our home in the Adirondacks had not yet sold (and would not sell for another year). But we were hopeful this would not be the case, so we moved into a two-bedroom, furnished apartment with our two kids and big dog. My dear friend Ivy (see this post) from the Adirondacks said right away that there was something familiar about my new address. Later she would find that the apartment (not just the apartment building, but the actual apartment!) was the same apartment her sister and husband had lived in just three years previous (and Ivy and her children had already stayed there to visit!). I know this sounds strange, but this was such a comfort to me when we discovered it – that the Lord had already sent Ivy ahead of me into this wilderness. Just knowing that the Lord could orchestrate this amazingly tiny detail of life – that He was indeed in control, and was taking special care of every element – that knowledge was so helpful to my soul. Another thing about our apartment – it was apartment #611. But our parking space was parking space #610, because we switched parking spaces with our neighbor so that they could open their doors wider for their new baby. The fellowship group we started at West Shore was named SixTen because we based the name on Hebrews 6:10 (which was a group decision). It wasn’t until months later that I even realized that our fellowship group name and our parking space number were the same. I know this is going to make you laugh, but this was such a comfort to me! The Lord used it to show me that He had “parked us” here, not chance, not our efforts, not our mistakes, but the Lord.

Then we had the confusing experience of trying to purchase a home once our home in the Adirondacks sold, and not being able to. It was the weirdest experience – it was like here we were with this pile of money and no one would take it! Three different times we found a home – and three different times the Lord blocked us from buying it. Nate shares the story of walking out onto the field next to our apartment complex, (a place where he prayed often), raising his hands to heaven and saying to the Lord: “What?!” Like – "What in the world do you want with us?" Shortly after the third failed attempt was when we were told we were one of the three full time pastors that needed to be let go from West Shore for financial reasons (January of 2009). You can’t imagine how thankful we were at that point to have been blocked from making that purchase. God is indeed a kind, careful, gracious, merciful God – even when we think He does not know what He is doing.

On the day when we were told we were being let go from West Shore (January 19), I remember this overwhelming sense that this was not true. Through the next six months of uncertainty, the Lord continued to increase my ability to believe something other than reality. My closest friends can attest that from January – June the Lord kept consistently convicting my heart that we were not leaving. I had to be careful who I shared this with as I wanted to be totally supportive of our leadership who were doing everything they could to follow Christ and find a way forward in these difficult financial times. I also did not want to falsely encourage anyone who wanted us to stay on the chance my silly heart was deceived. But my close friends know – I kept pouring out my heart to them and telling them of this conviction. Nate was even sometimes angry at me for not being more ready to leave (he told me to share that!) I praise God for friends and family who hoped along with me and us, even in total (and I mean TOTAL!) darkness.

The first two weeks of June were the hardest for us. June 30 was supposed to be our last day at West Shore as our leaders had graciously given us six months to find other employment. But the Lord had not opened up any other doors – He didn’t seem worried about the June 30 date at all! The temptation to make our own way out was great. The enemy continually beckoned us to jump out of one of his windows, or attack one another while we sat in the dark. The pressure we felt on behalf of our children was very painful – even as I type this I am reminded of the painful uncertainty and fear and confusion of this time. But through it all, the Lord provided something each day to keep us moving forward and trusting Him. There were days when we could literally feel the prayers of our friends and family as God’s grace carried us along moment by moment – we are eternally grateful for those prayers – truly, eternally grateful.

Then in one day (June 10 - which also happens to be 6/10!) the door blew open and our church leaders asked us to stay at West Shore. The timing for this could not have been more perfect as it occurred the day before we were scheduled to fly out to Orlando on a family vacation. We had planned this vacation by faith (back in April) despite not knowing what the Lord was going to do with us. The day before we were scheduled to fly out was the same day we accepted the offer to stay. God’s timing is indeed perfect, just like everyone always says, but you don’t believe it until you experience it, which He allows you to do – but usually on the other side of the furnace!

When we returned from Orlando we had the blessing of beginning to look for a home again. About two days into our traditional search, some friends mentioned that their parents had friends who were getting ready to sell their home. That same day we met with these people and became fast friends. Two days later we made an offer on their home, which they insisted we lower by 10K before they could accept it. Two weeks later our new neighbors (and the owners) threw a welcome to the neighborhood party for us complete with steaks and cake! On August 8th we moved into this home with the help of 25 of the young adults from our SixTen fellowship group. I don’t even think I carried one thing from the truck!

And here we are today. The pain of the past few months and years has been experienced in our hearts and bodies. Even today I want you to know that despite seeing all of these wondrous miracles firsthand (and even more besides these!), I still struggle with fear and anxiety – the fear of not knowing what is ahead for us – the desire to avoid any more pain or disappointment or difficulty. But God is so good – He blesses even my most meager attempts to seek Him by helping me day by day to trust Him, to believe more and more deeply in His goodness and His ability to care for me and my family. Only He can enable me to believe and to trust and to hope again. Not a wonderful house, not even deliverance from a trial - only He can make me trust Him and enable me to laugh at the days to come (Proverbs 31:25). And I need Him to do this for me each and every day, whether I am in the midst of a great trial, or have just been delivered from one.

And if He can do that for me, He can do that for you too. Whatever dark trial you are experiencing, whatever waiting room you just left (or are still sitting in) - I hope you will seek Him as I did this morning, and receive from Him once again the ability to trust Him to carry you to and through every trial. He loves you (and me) so much. He delights in delivering us and carrying us and being glorified by us as we trust in Him. Delight Him today won’t you? I know I am going to try.

(The photo above is from the most recent West Shore baptism service. Doesn't Nate look happy? What an amazing blessing this was - Nate and I cried and smiled for joy through the entire thing! Praise God!)

Blessings!
Love in Christ,
Kim

Forgiving Like Jesus (Part Three)

2009-07-18T09:56:00.004-04:00

Pressing On In The Journey
Now that we have found relief in Christ (Forgiving part one) and now that we are moving toward biblical reconciliation (Forgiving part two), it should be smooth sailing from here on in, right? But even after we’ve made significant progress on this journey of forgiveness, there are still several pitfalls that threaten to destroy us. This article hopes to tackle four of those pitfalls – Making them sorry, revenge, idolatry and shame.

Not for Everyone
Not everyone who is trying to forgive someone falls into these pits. There are many who bypass all of them, finding the grace and mercy in Christ to respond to hurtful people in ways that please Christ and unmistakably point others to Him. Indeed that would be ideal – to so carefully and submissively follow Jesus Christ that we never even need to read this article! But for whatever reason, many of us do stumble quite a bit (James 3:2), and when we do, we need help getting back up again (1 Peter 4:8, Galatians 6:1). It’s my prayer this article will begin to offer some of that help.

I saw the signs!Just to clarify what I’m talking about, here is a brief description of each of these pitfalls…

Pit #1: Making them SorryUsing things like accusation, disgust and rejection (public and private) to try to make the person or people who hurt you feel worse about what they have done, rather than relying on the conviction of the Holy Spirit and His methods/means of confrontation and follow-up (see Boundaries article).

Pit #2: Revenge
Secretly planning ways you will take revenge on your loved one if they ever try to hurt you again and finding great comfort in those plans, rather than seeking to find your comfort and security in Christ and leaving room for the vengeance of God (Romans 12:19). (This does not mean you should not have a wise, God-ordained plan in place should your loved one refuse to repent and follow Christ, but if you have a “revenge” plan – that is not a good sign).

Pit #3: Idolatry
Making an idol out of the bad thing your loved one did, rather than seeking to release it to Christ and find total healing in Him. One of the ways we do this is by holding onto the pain of the situation, rather than allowing Christ to totally transform the pain into something that can no longer injure us. (Letting go of pain seems like it should be easy – but sometimes it’s really not.)

Pit #4: Shame
Using the consequences of the sin your loved one committed (for example, if he/she must go to jail as a result of what they did, or if they lost their job), to shame and humiliate them, rather than seeking to help and comfort them in their hour of shame (assuming they have repented).

So which pit have you fallen into? Even if you’ve made memories in all four of them at one time or another, the good news for all of us is, God has made a way of escape! Getting His escape routes begins by making sure your Trail Guide is Jesus Christ!

Whose Team Are We On Anyway?
The reason we fall into some of these pits is rooted in “the flesh” (Galatians 5:17-19). When we are hurt, we want to hurt back. When we are hurt, we sometimes try to hurt ourselves. When we are hurt, we become afraid of being hurt worse, and so sometimes we do strange things to avoid that. We so desperately need Christ Who…

“while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously; and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed.” (1 Peter 2:23-24)

Following the Wrong LeaderWhen we listen long enough to what our flesh thinks we should do in this situation, (as opposed to what our Lord knows we should do and what He alone can enable us to do) we not only leave the wise leadership of Christ at a time when we most desperately need it - but we open ourselves up to following the hurtful leadership of His enemy and ours who…

“prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” (1 Peter 5:8)

If you go back and look at the descriptions of the pit behaviors – you might realize as I did that they fall very much in line with the plan of the enemy. No matter how tempting it is, we must do all that we can to resist following God’s enemy and ours in this situation (or any situation!). Asking this question might help:

“Even though I’m angry and hurt and devastated, do I really want to be used by satan to accomplish his plan of destruction in my life and in the lives of those I love?” Of course the answer is no, but if you are behaving in any of the above ways, you are following a very hurtful leader. So often we trick ourselves into believing that we are “just trying to help someone change” by acting in these ways. But if you are using things like accusation, revenge, idolatry, and shame to try to change anything (even to try to change how you feel) - these things are not only failing to produce righteousness (James 1:20), but they are most likely being used as a demonic tool against you and everyone else involved. Even when we’ve been hurt very badly, and even when it doesn’t seem like the other person will ever “get it” (and sadly, sometimes they don’t), responding to sin in any of the above four ways is definitely NOT the answer.

“Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.” (James 4:7)

“Put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts.” (Romans 13:14)

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil.” (Ephesians 6:10-11)

A Word About Eating Arms
If you have found yourself doing some of these things to a spouse especially, it might help you to remember that as a married couple, you are one (Genesis 2:24). When you attempt to harm your spouse out of anger and hurt, it’s kind of like eating one of your own arms off. It might have felt good to sink your teeth in, until you realize that you will suffer the consequences of every bite! Every time you accuse, reject and attack your spouse, you might as well be attacking yourself. The further you tear him or her down with your lashing out, the worse off you and your marriage are. And now what? Now you feel better (sort of) because you vented your feelings, but then you look around and realize that your marriage is weaker than it was before you started, and now you are both just as hurting and hopeless as before – in fact possibly more so! How long will you allow yourself to be used by the enemy to destroy the very thing God is capable of giving back to you as a restored, healed, holy, wonderful gift? I know I just said that very strongly – but when I am in a pit, I need someone to speak up! And here’s something I really want you to hear because it is such good news – if you will only look to Christ, He is already on the way to rescue you!

“An evil man is ensnared by the transgression of his lips, but the righteous will escape from trouble.” (Proverbs 12:13)

“As for me, I shall call upon God, and the LORD will save me. Evening and morning and at noon, I will complain and murmur, and He will hear my voice.” (Psalm 55:16-17)

“Call upon Me in the day of trouble; I shall rescue you, and you will honor Me.” (Psalm 50:15)

All we need to do is call upon Him, and then follow Him out of every pit.

Escape Route #1: Believing in God’s Power and Right To Forgive SinNo matter which pit you may have found yourself in, taking this first route is essential to making your way of escape.

Lord, Help My Unbelief!

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)

Do you believe this? I mean I know you believe this for yourself (or at least I hope you do!), but do you believe this for the person who has wronged you? Just in case you’ve started to not believe it, this next verse might inspire you to try again…

"And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what had been spoken to her by the Lord." (Luke 1:45)

God enjoys being believed, and we enjoy being blessed (a perfect combo!). And God wants us to believe in His right and His power to forgive sin (and there are amazing blessings waiting for us when we do!). But if we have begun to act in some of the ways described, chances are we have stopped believing very strongly in God’s right and power to forgive sin. We have either never been aware of this right, or more likely, we have ceased to appreciate it. The following passage gives a really good picture of a person who truly appreciates the astonishing gift of forgiveness. Read this passage and ask yourself – do I respond to Christ’s presence in this way?

“and when she learned that He was reclining at the table in the Pharisee's house, she brought an alabaster vial of perfume, and standing behind Him at His feet, weeping, she began to wet His feet with her tears, and kept wiping them with the hair of her head, and kissing His feet and anointing them with the perfume.” (Luke 7:37-38)

If the answer is no – perhaps you’ve been deceived into taking this gift of grace more lightly than you should.

A Story About A Quilt
To help you think more about how we sometimes mistreat the precious gift of forgiveness, and how that mistreatment can impact our ability to allow others to enjoy it fully, I want to tell you a story…

Imagine that you have spent years making a quilt for a special someone named Mary – a quilt that is so beautifully made and so painstakingly put together that you are certain it will comfort and snuggle her for years to come. And then one day it is finally finished, and you are brimming with anticipation as you drive the quilt over to Mary’s house and place it in her open arms. And you are thankful to see her gratefully take the gift, and even smile at you, yet a little disappointed to see her place it in a sack and take it quickly away to a back bedroom. But then again different people deal with gifts differently, and you plan to come back on another day to see how much she is enjoying it. As you turn to leave you are a bit unsettled by Mary’s robotic “thank you” followed by some forced out promise that she would “be careful to use the quilt as soon as her heater breaks.” This response is not what you expected at all, but you have known Mary for years now, and sometimes she can say strange things when you least expect it. So you decide to hold off being irked until you can come back on a later date and see how things stand.
The day finally comes when you visit Mary at her home again, and you are stunned right away that the quilt is nowhere to be seen. Not on any of her three beds, not even hanging over a chair where others can admire and enjoy its luxurious fluffiness. You secretly wonder if Mary has sold the quilt on ebay, and so you ask her outright whatever happened to it? “Oh it’s under the bed in my back bedroom.” Mary says matter-of-factly. But before you can make a comment on that poor decision, another friend of Mary’s stops by and is visibly chilled to the bone. When he asks for something warm, you are astonished that Mary has nothing to offer. As Mary excuses herself to tend to some important kitchen duties, you lean over to the freezing friend and offer to locate the quilt you made for Mary. The cold friend takes you up on your offer and is immediately elated to discover the radiating heat and cushiony softness of this amazing gift! You are excited (even relieved) to see someone finally enjoying your quilt in the way you intended, even if it isn’t Mary. And it saddens you to think of Mary – how cold she must be on some nights, and you wonder how many of her friends have left her presence as cold and hapless as she!

Do you see how sometimes we act very much like Mary when it comes to forgiveness? Sometimes we keep God’s gift of forgiveness stuffed under a bed somewhere in our hearts, never truly cherishing it and warming ourselves by it as we should. If only we had taken the time to more fully enjoy this amazing gift of forgiveness on a daily basis. If only we had wrapped ourselves up in it a little bit each day – spending our lives talking about it and glorifying our Savior over it! Then, even when someone who hurts us needs it, how much more quickly we would have the right response! In fact we might even invite them to join us within its tender embrace, telling them all about the wonders of Christ’s blood-bought forgiveness, helping them to enjoy it as fully as we have come to.

Talking It Over
Jesus Christ purchased forgiveness for us with His very blood – He suffered and died in order to provide this forgiveness. He has offered it to your loved one as freely as He has offered it to you. And here is where I really want you to listen: If you have a problem with Jesus for forgiving this person before you are ready for Him to - you need to have that conversation with Him. Let Him know that you are hurt that He has gone ahead and forgiven this person before you are sure this person has suffered enough, or repented enough, or proven themselves enough. Jesus is ready right now to have this conversation with you – He is aware that you feel this way, He understands better than anyone ever can, and only He can help you work through those feelings you are struggling with. Tell Him honestly that you are afraid this person is going to get away with something. Tell Him you feel like you must DO SOMETHING or else you are being cheated or mistreated or a fool. Jesus has definite things to share with you, but you simply must go before Him and reveal your heart to Him. Seek Him while He may be found (Isaiah 55:6) – ask Him to help you to break the silence between yourself and Him. Stop reading this article right now and ask Him to break the silence for you – you’ll be so glad you did.

“Answer me quickly, O LORD, my spirit fails; Do not hide Your face from me, or I will become like those who go down to the pit.” (Psalm 143:7)

Escape Route #2: Having Eyes of HopeThis is another route that leads out from each of the four pits! Having eyes of hope is having the mind of Christ (1 Cor. 2:16) in any given situation. When we have eyes of hope, we begin to look at everything the way Christ looks at everything. Eyes of hope keep us from trying to take things into our own hands. Eyes of hope help us to avoid panic during those dark times of doubt and fear. Eyes of hope help us to keep our gaze on Christ, and avoid going inward. Eyes of hope are essential to responding to our repentant loved ones in ways that please Christ and point others to Him.

The Eyes of Hope God Has For Us

“It is You who has kept my soul from the pit of nothingness, for You have cast all my sins behind Your back.” (Isaiah 38:17)

“I, even I, am the one who wipes out your transgressions for My own sake, and I will not remember your sins.” (Isaiah 43:25)

When we confess our sins and receive forgiveness, God goes to the added trouble of making sure we understand that He is no longer looking at us through our past sins. Do we do that for those who have sought our forgiveness? Do we go out of our way to make sure they know we are not thinking about that past sin? Do we strive and struggle to look at our loved ones with the eyes of hope that Christ has for us? Remember that imitation is the highest form of compliment, and imitating Jesus in this way is exactly what Jesus Himself wants us to do!

"For I gave you an example that you also should do as I did to you.” (John 13:15)

Eyes of hope believe in our own deep need for Christ’s forgivenessOur sins (mine and yours) made the cross necessary. Not just the grosser sins, but all sin. And all of our sins come out of the same pot of SIN. My sin of lying is connected somehow to your sin of lust. The sin of partiality comes from the same pot as rape. The sin of gossip comes from the same root as murder and so on. And while some sins carry worse consequences than others, they all come from the same wicked pot. And when I think of it this way, it helps me to remember that this is why the cross was necessary. A friend’s pastor once said, “We are not all as bad as Hitler, but we are all as bad off as Hitler apart from Christ.” Sometimes loving Jesus and others deeply begins with believing you actually needed forgiveness in the first place!

Eyes of hope are so thankful for salvation
Do you believe you were at one time justly condemned to hell? Perhaps you’ve lost your faith in this Truth and you simply need the Lord to help you to see how close you came to eternal separation from everything good. Perhaps you started to believe your sins were somehow acceptable ones, while the sins of others were definitely worthy of damnation. And maybe it’s true that you would never sit in front of a computer screen and lust after porn (that just doesn’t do it for you), or commit adultery (too many risks), or lie about money (why would I lie about money?), but you have sinned (I’m sure about that one), and your sin is not only somehow connected to all of those other sins (and far worse sins as well!) but apart from Christ even the least of your sins is enough to effectively separate you from a holy God. Do you dwell on how much you need Christ’s forgiveness every day? All sin is an abomination before a holy God. Your sins aren’t somehow acceptable to God just because the pastor’s wife commits them. Allow that to sink in for a minute, or better yet, ask God to renew your belief in the existence of hell and how close you came to it. It can really help to put things into perspective, and more importantly, it can put you into the right frame of mind to have eyes of hope for your loved one who hurt you.
Eyes of hope understand that His mercies are new every morningYou do not wake up under the eyes of a disappointed Savior, and we should never make those we love wake up under our eyes of disappointment. We fail Christ every day, and yet He is there every day, arms open wide, expecting the best, believing the best, hoping the best. Do we hope all things for those we love? (1 Cor. 13:7). How can we do any less when each day we enjoy the same from Christ?

“This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope. The LORD'S loving kindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness” (Lamentations 3:21-23)

Yes, there will be setbacks, and those setbacks will be very discouraging. But you have also had setbacks in your walk with Christ, and yet you’ve expected Him to be there for you time and time again (and rightly so!) Because His lovingkindnesses for you are new every morning. Are you willing to allow Him to work so powerfully through you to your loved one that you can have that same attitude toward him or her? Believe Him for this – trust Him for this – test Him and see if He doesn’t blow open wide the floodgates of heaven and obliterate forever your puny ideas of what He can do through one surrendered saint seeking to forgive someone on God’s terms.

Eyes of hope expect a Great God to accomplish Great thingsYour eyes communicate so much about what you think God is capable of. It is only by His grace that we are able to see our struggling loved one, and believe in what God is capable of at the same time. But eyes of hope always remember…

“Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen.” (Ephesians 3:20-21)

Remember that people are very sensitive to expectations. Are you expecting great things from God in this person’s life? If so, that hopeful expectation is having an impact. And of course the opposite is also true – if you are expecting the worst, that expectation is having an impact as well. And even though hopeful expectation opens you up to disappointment (sometimes our loved ones do not respond to our great God the way they could have), God will be there for you when your loved one disappoints you deeply – because you are trusting in Him, and He has promised to take care of you. Our hope is in the Lord, Who will never disappoint us. Yes, people will disappoint us, but how much better it is to go through life hopefully expecting them to respond to our great God (and sometimes being deeply disappointed) as opposed to always expecting the worst from them, and then sometimes being shocked by good. The first way may bring unexpected sorrow for a moment, it’s true - but the second way brings sorrow for a lifetime!

Escape Route #3 – Casting down our idols
This is the way out for anyone that thinks they may have begun to make an idol out of the wrong done to them. There are many ways we do this – with the bottom line of just refusing to place this thing entirely in the Lord’s hands, trusting Him to carry it and deal with it and heal it on His terms (Matthew 11:28). Only Jesus is able to remove the sting of this bad thing from you entirely – to turn it into something full of His glory, hope, healing and love - no matter what it is. And while that sounds great on paper, it can be surprisingly difficult to submit to in reality. For example, sometimes (for whatever reason) we take comfort in the wrong done to us and use that comfort to get us through life somehow. Sometimes we allow the wrong thing to define us in some way that does not please Christ – thinking of ourselves as less worthy because of it, instead of thinking of ourselves as the priceless, beautiful, beloved daughter of the King that we are. But just as His own scars were transformed into something that proclaims something beautiful about Him (Isaiah 49:16 for example), Christ intends to transform the scars you carry into something that proclaims something beautiful as well. That process starts by turning it ALL over to Him, hook, line and stinker (I misspelled that on purpose.) I have already spoken at great length elsewhere on this blog about surrendering hurts to Christ, so I just want to touch on it here - do all that you can, TODAY, to hand it over to Him completely – even if He allows you to forget, even if you are scared – even though you have no idea what He is going to do. Hand it over and trust Him to transform it, today. Refuse to hang onto this thing sinfully any longer. Call out to Him for help – He will surely help you!

“Waters flowed over my head; I said, "I am cut off!" I called on Your name, O LORD, out of the lowest pit. You have heard my voice, do not hide Your ear from my prayer for relief, from my cry for help." (Lam. 3:54-56)

"For I am the LORD your God, who upholds your right hand, Who says to you, ' Do not fear, I will help you.'” (Isaiah 41:13)

Escape Route #4 – Refusing to use shameThis route is especially important for anyone who has begun to use the consequences of forgiven sin to “shame” another person. Shaming someone who has repented is often done as a result of confusing consequences of sin with punishment for sin. If God has forgiven your loved one, the punishment for his/her sin has been fully placed on Jesus Christ (see Isaiah 53 for starters). He will not “punish” someone else for forgiven sin when He has perfectly punished His Son for that sin, and then also promised to accept that sacrifice (Jesus’ suffering on the cross) for that sin (see 1 John 1:9). When you communicate to someone that the consequences of their sin is punishment for their sin, (again – assuming they are born again and have repented), it is communicating a whole host of errors about the character of God. Consequences attached to forgiven sin are simply the natural effect of rebelling against God, and are definitely used by God, but not to punish forgiven children. Consequences of forgiven sin are always used by God for good, and are often specifically used to draw the offender into a closer, more dependent and intimate walk with Christ (the best good there is!). When we try to make our repentant loved one feel as though God is punishing him/her with the consequences of their forgiven sin, we throw them into all sorts of confusion in their walk with Christ and effectively do a great deal toward driving them away from the very Savior Who is calling them home. We must rather be careful to communicate how faithful and loving God is (when we do this it is a good sign that we are on the right path in terms of forgiving them) and that He is committed to helping His children with even the worst possible consequences – that He delights in doing so, and has promised to turn those consequences into something gloriously beautiful for everyone involved who loves Him. (This is of course only promised to those who have forsaken their sin, repented on God’s terms, sought His forgiveness and committed their lives to following Him). Remember what He promised…

“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

This Is Hard Work!
Look back at how difficult it was for Christ to purchase forgiveness for us.

“In the days of His flesh, He offered up both prayers and supplications with loud crying and tears to the One able to save Him from death, and He was heard because of His piety.” (Hebrews 5:7)

“saying, "Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from Me; yet not My will, but Yours be done." (Luke 22:42)

“And being in agony He was praying very fervently; and His sweat became like drops of blood, falling down upon the ground.” (Luke 22:44)

"But God raised Him up again, putting an end to the agony of death, since it was impossible for Him to be held in its power.” (Acts 2:24)

I think this is a good picture of what it might look like for you to actually forgive someone who has hurt you deeply. It will not come easily, it is not just words, it is a heart surrendered to the will of God, wrestling with Him, seeking Him, depending on Him, giving Him the hurts and yet struggling to do so, all the while following Him, all the way to and through the very difficult task of forgiveness and reconciliation – for His glory, out of our thankfulness to Him. Don’t give up – never give up trying to forgive like Jesus forgave you. I know it’s so hard, but it is definitely harder in the pit! Come up to where Christ is – or better yet - look up to where Christ is. Ask Him to fetch you out. He is so good – He will do it, and even right this very minute.

“I waited patiently for the LORD; and He inclined to me and heard my cry. He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay, and He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God; many will see and fear and will trust in the LORD.” (Psalm 40:1-3)

Blessings!
Love Miss Kim

Scripture quotations taken from the New American Standard Bible®,Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973,1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)

Winters Family Update Part IV

2009-06-16T11:48:00.006-04:00

If you’ve kept up with these family updates, you know that since January of this year we have been praying diligently for God’s direction and provision, not only for our family, but for our church family at West Shore Evangelical Free Church. (See Winters Family Update Part III for details). Since that time we have been seeking the Lord for where He might be leading us, all the while wondering at the fact that no doors were opening, and our heart for the people of West Shore (and His ministry through us) was only growing. It was a very painful process actually – trying to leave West Shore, but not wanting to, trying to help prepare our leaders to carry on without us, all the while wanting a way to stay.

After five-plus months of waiting and watching this way, and on the day before we were scheduled to leave for our family vacation (June 10), we received news that a way had been made for us to stay at West Shore and that new ministry opportunities had been provided for us there. It was almost too good to be believed – topped off with the added blessing of being able to immediately go on vacation (to Orlando) having seen His provision this way for our entire family!
God is so good. As June 30 approaches, we may now singularly reclaim it as our wedding anniversary! And yet we continue to be mindful of the difficult time this is for our church family. Current nationwide economy continues to hit hard. One of our pastors, a good and godly man, continues to search for employment as of July 1st. The need for divinely thorough, Spirit-driven community is a must for all.

For now, thank you so much for praying for our own family. The children have been carried by grace; each one of us has had to deal with idols; we’ve had to settle whether or not we can trust the Lord BEFORE seeing what He would do; each one of us has been transformed in some minor and major ways through all of this. We are so thankful for each one of you and we praise God for how He has led you to pray for us and care for us so well.

Forgiving Like Jesus (Part Two)

2009-05-23T14:26:00.009-04:00

Now What?
At this point in the struggle to forgive it can be so tempting to abandon ship altogether. The ups and downs of the journey can be more than you banked on. One day you feel the sun is finally shining, only to find the next day as dark and gloomy as ever. One moment you feel like throwing in the towel, the next you feel ashamed of your lack of love. Momentary flashes of wanting to hurt the other person can be followed by flashes of incredible mercy and compassion toward them. With all of this going on it’s a miracle anyone makes it down this path! But many do make it, and they do so only by carefully following the One Who says…

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine! When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, nor will the flame burn you.” (Isaiah 43:1-2)

As we follow that One together, it’s my hope this article will help deepen your biblical understanding of reconciliation and how genuine, Holy Spirit empowered repentance plays a key role in our journey toward restored relationships.

What Am I Doing Here?
And as the path through forgiveness toward reconciliation gets increasingly difficult (and hot, and flooded), it might be a good time to remind ourselves what in the world we are doing on this path anyway! Here is the short list…

We are commanded by God to forgive

No two ways about it sister – this is really important to Jesus, and if we are going to follow Him, we are going to need to forgive.

"Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times a day, and returns to you seven times, saying, 'I repent,' forgive him." The apostles said to the Lord, "Increase our faith!" (Luke 17:3-5)

We are severely warned about not forgiving

Once again, there is no mystery about forgiveness in the Bible – it’s about as cut and dry as it gets…

“For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.” (Matthew 6:14-15)

“And his lord, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed him. My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart." (Matthew 18:34-35)

Unforgiveness is a sin that will do significant damage to our lives…Unforgiveness is one of those sins that quickly morphs into things like rage, fear, malice and bitterness – things that can destroy our lives and the lives of the people we love faster than you can say: “I hate you.” But do you really want to give this painful situation that kind of power in your life? Thankfully, it doesn’t have to be that way. Jesus can take even our most painful experiences and turn them into something beneficial (Rom 8:28), even beautiful! (Isaiah 61:3). But for that to happen we need to deal with the hurts His way, for His glory, out of our love for Him…

“And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." (Ephesians 4:30-32)

Jesus wants us to not only forgive, but to be reconciled to others (if possible)…
Sometimes we convince ourselves that we have done the “forgiveness thing,” and now we can leave this trail behind for good, cut this person out of our hearts forever and avoid all future hurt (that sounds like a plan!). But then we see Jesus, going on ahead of us toward reconciliation! And for some people, this is the first time they seriously consider leaving the faith altogether. Forgiveness is one thing, but reconciliation? And even though there are some situations in which reconciliation is impossible (see boundaries article), and even though reconciliation is hard work that requires incredible dependence on Christ, we simply must do everything in our power (and more importantly, in God’s power) to pursue reconciliation (on God’s terms), because He asks us to…

“Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.” (Romans 12:17-18)

“Sufficient for such a one is this punishment which was inflicted by the majority, so that on the contrary you should rather forgive and comfort him, otherwise such a one might be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. Wherefore I urge you to reaffirm your love for him." (2 Cor. 2:6-8)

“So then we pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another.” (Romans 14:19)

What Is Biblical Reconciliation?
Reconciliation is a restoration (or new construction) of trust, hope and healthy interdependence inside a love relationship. True reconciliation (the kind discussed in God’s Word) requires specific, God-honoring responses, heart attitudes and behaviors from both the “forgiven” and the “forgiving.” One of those God-honoring responses is genuine, Holy Spirit empowered repentance. And while there is certainly more to reconciliation than repentance, there is definitely not less. You can have repentance without reconciliation, but you can never have biblical reconciliation between two people (where actual sin has occurred and is not imagined) without repentance.

Repentance on God’s TermsRepentance is not the same thing as remorse. It is not just being “sorry” for something. Repentance is a MIRACLE of God in the life of a believer, (an incredible act of mercy on God’s part!). It includes an amazing array of benefits (Isaiah 30:15) and produces an astonishing number of fruits (Matthew 3:8). It is something that first happens at our conversion (2 Cor. 7:10-12), and should continue to happen throughout our saved lives as we have a Holy Spirit empowered heart response to our sin. I think this passage says it best…

“For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation, but the sorrow of the world produces death. For behold what earnestness this very thing, this godly sorrow, has produced in you: what vindication of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what avenging of wrong!” (2 Corinthians 7:10-12)

Why Does Repentance Matter So Much?And here is the key: When we see true repentance in the life of a person we are seeking to be reconciled with, it means (among other things) that they are saved (yay!), that God is at work (hurrah!), and that they are responding rightly to the merciful work of God in their lives (YES!). These truths give us a solid foundation upon which to build our hopes and dreams for a restored relationship in Christ. But how can we be sure? How can we know that what we are seeing is God at work? How can we tell when our loved one IS responding rightly? What are some of the marks of genuine repentance?

Repentance is a TURNING AWAY from sin…“Thus says the Lord GOD, "Repent and turn away from your idols and turn your faces away from all your abominations.” (Ezekiel 14:6)

"Say to them, 'As I live!' declares the Lord GOD, 'I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that the wicked turn from his way and live. Turn back, turn back from your evil ways! Why then will you die, O house of Israel?'” (Ezekiel 33:11)

When a person is moved by God to repent, they will take visible and invisible steps AWAY from the sin they are aware of out of an internal desire that the Lord has placed within them. They will not be forced to forsake their sin, they will WANT to do so (although they may need to be helped to do so in the beginning through things like accountability, biblical counseling, etc.). Even if they need a great deal of help in escaping their sinful behavior, there will be an internal desire to get free and stay free that is initiated by the Holy Spirit. For a detailed look at the life of someone who responded to his sin in this way, read Psalm 51. If you are seeing some of these heart responses to sin in your loved one, you have great reason to hope. But if you are not, bring those concerns to the Lord FIRST and see if He might lead you to talk to your loved one about what you do and do not see in their responses to sin. A potential question to ask the person you are trying to reconcile with: Are you experiencing the convicting presence of the Holy Spirit when you sin, and if not, why not? A good book I’d suggest reading together is: “Ten Questions To Diagnose Your Spiritual Health” by Don Whitney.

Repentance means TURNING TOWARD God…
"Return, O faithless sons, I will heal your faithlessness." (Jeremiah 3:22)

"Seek the LORD while He may be found; call upon Him while He is near. Let the wicked forsake his way and the unrighteous man his thoughts; and let him return to the LORD, and He will have compassion on him, and to our God, for He will abundantly pardon.” (Isaiah 55:6-7)

“But I have this against you, that you have left your first love. Therefore remember from where you have fallen, and repent and do the deeds you did at first; or else I am coming to you and will remove your lampstand out of its place--unless you repent.” (Rev. 2:4-5)

If true repentance has occurred, there should be evidence of a growing desire for God and a seeking after Him, no matter what the cost. That will include (at minimum) a desire to read God’s Word and pray, and/or an attempt to learn how to do these things. If you are seeing this in your loved one, you have reason to hope that true repentance is occurring. If you do not see this, there are two really great books on the topic you might want to look into: “When I Don’t Desire God” by John Piper and “Seeking the Face of God” by Gary Thomas.

Repentance leads to a knowledge of the Truth and an escape from the enemy…“The Lord's bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will.” (2 Timothy 2:24-26)

You should begin to see an increasing ability to know the Truth from lies, paired with an increasing ability to actually do something about that knowledge. And while you may have several failures, set-backs and discouragements, don’t settle for anything less than an “escape from the snare of the devil” that God tells us is possible in Christ. At some point you should be able to step back from this person’s life and see the bigger picture of a trajectory toward Christ-likeness (be it ever so gradually bent in that direction!) and that picture should encourage you that God is at work. If what you are seeing is a trajectory in the opposite direction, there is obviously reason to be concerned. A few books that really helped me at a time when I was tempted to give up the fight: The Bondage Breaker by Neil T. Anderson, the Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis and Breaking Free by Beth Moore. (Also Charles Stanley’s sermon series entitled: Eternal Security, You Can Be Sure was a huge help, as some of my worst spiritual battles stemmed from a secret belief that I had lost my salvation - if you or someone you love has ever struggled in that way, this series is an amazingly helpful resource.)

True repentance crushes self love and self reliance…
“Seek the LORD while He may be found; Call upon Him while He is near. Let the wicked forsake his way and the unrighteous man his thoughts; and let him return to the LORD, and He will have compassion on him, and to our God, for He will abundantly pardon. "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways," declares the LORD. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:6-9)

“Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be miserable and mourn and weep; let your laughter be turned into mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you.” (James 4:8-10)

A repentant person is ultimately repentant of being in love with himself, rather than God, and of relying on himself, rather than God. This heart attitude should be producing a life that seeks to genuinely worship God and depend upon Him rather than self. If you are seeing evidence of this forming, there is good reason to hope that repentance has occurred and that the Holy Spirit is actually at work. If you are not seeing any evidence of this, talk about what you think you don’t see with God first, and then with your loved one. A couple potential question to investigate with your loved one: “At what point in your life did you stop trusting in God to meet your needs?” and “What are some of the reasons you began trusting in yourself instead of God?” If some of what you are seeing is leading you to be concerned over whether or not your loved one is saved, I recommend the excellent book: “How Can I Be Sure I’m A Christian?” by Don Whitney. For a great book on what it looks like to pursue God in the way described above, consider reading “The Pursuit of God” by A.W. Tozer

Remember that Repentance is God’s Work!“Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?” (Romans 2:4)

Only the kindness of God will lead our loved ones to repentance. Only He can unite a divided heart. Only God can restore Holy Spirit conviction over sin and only He can cause a person to fear Him and trust Him and worship Him fully. And while He may use you in this situation, you need to be very careful to avoid the lie that their change of heart is your responsibility. That responsibility belongs to God. And when we are tempted to try to force our loved one to respond rightly through our anger, frustration or even our creative argument, we need to remember the following…

“for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.” (James 1:20)

If you are being strongly tempted to try to force your loved one to repent, and if you are sorely discouraged by what you are currently seeing or not seeing in their lives, I hope you’ll get a cup of coffee (or tea, or diet coke and salt and vinegar chips) and listen to the amazing sermon series by Erwin Lutzer called: The Triumph of Unanswered Prayer at this link. You’ll be so glad you did!

Final ThoughtsAnd until you are able to follow up on all of these suggestions (or even on one of these suggestions!) here are some final words of encouragement to you my dear sister!

PRAY!Always take your concerns to Christ first and ask Him for eyes to see things as He sees them. Spend time with Him discussing what you think you see, and ask Him for wisdom to know what to do next. If you have Christ, you have everything you need right now to have the peace and wisdom only He can provide.

“seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence.” (2 Peter 1:3)

ABIDE!Remember that your own vibrant, passionate, victorious walk with Jesus Christ is not dependent on what other people do or don’t do. Continue to be motivated by your love for God, not your need for this person to change. You have every reason to hope, even when repentance is not occurring – because you belong to the King of the Universe, and He delights in your beauty. (A great book to consider reading (my favorite): Hinds Feet on High Places). And remember…

“After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you.” (1 Peter 5:10)

LOVE!Even when you run out of love for a person, God never does. And His love for this person (or people) has been poured out into your heart, even when you don’t feel like it has…

"And hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us." (Romans 5:5)

That very love, through you, to someone who doesn’t deserve it in the least may be the very thing that brings about the repentance you so long to see. Keep in mind it was the kindness of God that brought you to repentance when you trusted Christ, and you can’t go wrong with Holy Spirit empowered kindness, no matter what your circumstance. If you need some more help in this direction, consider getting the book: Love in Hard Places by D.A. Carson.

It is my prayer that this article has encouraged you and helped you along the path toward reconciliation. Please leave any comments or questions below, and thank you so much for considering these things with me!

Blessings!
Love Miss Kim

Scripture quotations taken from the New American Standard Bible®,Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973,1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)

Forgiving Like Jesus (Part One)

2009-04-30T06:41:00.001-04:00

A husband is caught looking at pornography. A wife confesses to adultery with a co-worker. A child is arrested for dealing drugs. A trusted friend admits to stealing from you. And everyone knows, and dreams are shattered, and hope is killed. And now what? You feel alone and isolated and angry and hurt and wounded and weak. You know you must forgive, but how? How in the world do you go from being so shocked, so wronged, so cut to the quick by someone you love and admire and even depend upon – how do you trust again, believe again, hope again after this? If this describes where you are at, (or if this describes where someone you are trying to help is at) it’s my prayer this article will help.

What Can I Do To Help?
Whenever someone I love is facing a situation like this, I try to always remember that Job’s friends were doing a really good job until they opened their mouths. The first few days following a shocking revelation are usually best spent sitting on the floor with the shocked friend or loved one, crying our eyes out alongside them in silence. But eventually the weeping stops and they begin looking to you for direction, support and wisdom. They begin asking questions like: What now? Am I really supposed to forgive this? Should I wait until I’m sure they are sorry? How can I ever let this go? Why should I forgive? Where do I start?

Take the hurt to Christ
If we have any hope of ever forgiving the people who have hurt us so deeply, we must go to the only One who can offer us lasting relief from the very real hurt we feel. We have a Savior with strong, broad shoulders. He is the only One able to carry the deep pains of our souls. You cannot carry those wounds around at all – they will crush you, destroy you, consume you. With that in mind, our first and best counsel (for ourselves and also for someone we are trying to help) is: GO TO CHRIST. Show Him your hurt, your disappointment, anger and confusion. Talk to Him about it, ask Him to take it out of your heart. Wait for Him to heal you, and ask Him to carry you and comfort you through it all. Plead with Him for the strength to forgive, and love and have hope again. When people ask what this looks like, tell them it looks very much like Jesus did when He wept and wailed and struggled to purchase forgiveness for each one of us.

“In the days of His flesh, He offered up both prayers and supplications with loud crying and tears to the One able to save Him from death, and He was heard because of His piety.” (Hebrews 5:7)

“saying, "Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from Me; yet not My will, but Yours be done." (Luke 22:42)

“Now My soul has become troubled; and what shall I say, 'Father, save Me from this hour'? But for this purpose I came to this hour.” (John 12:27)

It’s brutal prayer – it’s gruesome and excruciating and no one can do it for you. It’s where our faith in Christ is tested and refined – where we meet Christ perhaps for the first time, and find Him sufficient or die. Only Christ can take that pain from you, only He can replace it with something light and easy- and all He requires is that you bring it to Him and allow Him to do what He alone has the ability to do.

“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30)
What Does That Look Like Exactly?
Step #1: Tell the Lord what happened. Yes, He already knows, and yes, He also wants you to tell Him about it. Take your time in explaining it – share with Christ (in prayer) what really hurts you about the situation. Don’t jump to looking for answers – simply look to be heard by Christ. That is the goal. Do not go forward to step #2 until you have completed step #1. You will know you have completed step #1 when you can affirm the following statements..

1. I believe Jesus not only knows everything about this situation, but He is intimately acquainted with how I feel about this situation, because I have shared it with Him and continue to share it with Him as I am aware of new feelings and ideas.

2. As I have shared this hurt with Jesus, the Holy Spirit has enabled me to know that He is listening to me, and is very interested in what I am sharing and how I am feeling. As I talk to the Lord about this, I am increasingly able to affirm the following passages are true…

“I waited patiently for the LORD; And He inclined to me and heard my cry.” (Psalm 40:1)

“But know that the LORD has set apart the godly man for Himself; The LORD hears when I call to Him.” (Psalm 4:3)

3. As I have talked through all the various hurts of this situation, I have received a peace that leads me to believe that Jesus Christ is going to do something wonderful for me, not the least of which will be to heal me from this wound I have received, and help me to forgive and possibly even reconcile with the person who has hurt me so deeply.

“Heal me, O LORD, and I will be healed; Save me and I will be saved, For You are my praise.” (Jeremiah 17:14)

Step #2: Confess your own sin. If you have responded to this hurtful situation sinfully, confess that sin to the Lord and ask for His forgiveness.

Step #3: Go to the Lord each morning with the hurts of your heart. Once you have poured out your heart initially to the Lord, you must go back each day and speak with Him again about it. Each day those hurts might look a little bit different, each day there may be new hope to share, and also new pain. All of it must be exposed to Christ – don’t leave any of it in the dark. Doing this takes time, and discipline. Ask someone to hold you accountable to do this! One time does not handle it. It must be a conversation you commit to having on a regular basis with Jesus. Here is an example of what one of those prayers might look like…

Good morning Lord – I don’t even feel like I can pray this morning – please help me. I feel so beat up inside I don’t even know where to begin. I get so angry with myself for being such a fool – for not knowing this was going on. Oh Lord – it hurts to feel like a fool – to know that other people knew and did nothing – people I liked – people I trusted. When I think of that I want to hate them all and see them all suffer like I am – and I know this is harmful for me to feel. Please take that feeling I have Lord, please forgive me for having that feeling, and please take it out of my heart. I give it to you – I know it is too painful for me to handle – too heavy, too hard. I know it keeps me from enjoying You and receiving from You in the ways I need to. I give you the pain that comes into my heart when I feel like I have been a fool. I turn that over to You right now Lord, and refuse to allow it back into my heart. Thank you for helping me with these heavy feelings Lord. Thank you that I don’t have to go through this alone, carrying all these things alone in the dark. Thank you for shining the light of Your beautiful face on Me and letting me know I am favored by You. I praise You Lord for caring so much about me to spend time with Me and carry these burdens for me. Amen.

Another day’s prayer might look like this…

Dear Jesus - why didn’t you tell me about this? I have been thinking about this all day – that You have known about this all along. It hurts me to think that You knew this was going on when I was having such a wonderful time alone with You on Wednesday – and You could have made me aware of all this then, and I could have avoided so much pain, for myself and for so many others. When I think about that it makes me feel sorry for myself, and it makes me feel like You did not treat me like a friend treats a friend. I think I just need to sit here before You and give that feeling over to You, because I know You love me deeply and that you do not allow evil to touch me. This feels like evil has touched me, and it also seems like you stood by and allowed it to happen to me – I think that must be a lie – but it is the only thing I can see right now. Please show me the Truth – because I know that does not go along with what I know about You. I must not be seeing this right – and I know only You can make me see it rightly. So I want to just sit here, and I guess I want to read from the Psalms – help me to actually open my Bible and want to read the Psalms today Lord. Help me to want to go there and drink in Truth about who You really are. Please make my heart able to hear from You and take my anger and my suspicion of You and my confusion – please take those things now Lord, and give me a right understanding of You – flood my mind and heart with a new and perfect understanding of Your goodness and Your love and how I can trust You even when I don’t understand why you do things the way you do them. Help me to believe You have a plan, and that it is good. I confess that I do not like Your plan, and want to run away from Your plan sometimes. Oh Lord HELP ME! Help me to keep talking to you about this each day until I can walk through this dark valley and come out on the other side loving You with passionate abandon.

Step #4: BELIEVE!
When you are experiencing the darkest moments of this situation, look at Christ and remind yourself: “He must have a plan.” His plans are not our plans. His ways are not our ways. When He went to the cross it made no sense to anyone. And this doesn’t make any sense either, and you have so many questions – and you may not get so many answers, except for this answer: Jesus Christ. And if you are His, He has a plan – even for this. Cling to Him, run after Him, become determined to keep Him and His Word in your face at all times and look at the cross and keep telling your soul – He must have a plan. Be like this believer in Micah 7…

“But as for me, I will watch expectantly for the LORD; I will wait for the God of my salvation. My God will hear me. Do not rejoice over me, O my enemy. Though I fall I will rise; though I dwell in darkness, the LORD is a light for me.”
Write this passage on your arm. Post it on your bathroom mirror. Memorize it, sing it, talk about it, and allow it to cause you to be determined like never before to hope in Christ. That means choosing hope when you would rather despair. That means looking around every corner of this situation for God to show up in some amazing, miraculously wonderful ways. That means waiting and watching with great enthusiasm and wonder – looking to see what your awesome and amazing God will do for you in this and through this. Cause a commotion in heaven and on earth – like Job did, like others have done. Be determined to hope in your Great God – even in this dark hour.

What Next?As you do these steps, diligently, faithfully, daily and sometimes twice a day - slowly, slowly you will see Him turning those scorched places, burned out by sin and hurt and wrong – into places of beauty. He really does do this – He really does take burned out, scorched places and make them into something alive, new, pristine and amazing – He has done it countless times, and He will do it again countless more times. Most importantly for you right now - He wants to do it for your situation, if you will only come to Him. You do not need to remain in that place of darkness, anger and hurt – in fact you cannot remain there – for Christ has a better plan – to turn your ashes into beauty…

“To grant those who mourn in Zion, giving them a garland instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting so they will be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified.” (Isaiah 61:3)

More on forgiveness in Forgiving Like Jesus (Part 2) coming next week. Stay tuned…
Blessings!
Love Kim

Scripture quotations taken from the New American Standard Bible®,Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973,1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)

Only Jesus by Marc Heinrich

2009-02-28T10:35:00.003-05:00

Marc Heinrich's music is so amazing - we just wanted to share one of our favorites with you all - Only Jesus. This became Nate's all time favorite following a pastor's conference he attended where Marc played. Click here to go to Marc's website and press play to hear this wonderful song. Enjoy!

There are also a lot of other wonderful songs on his website - hope they encourage you as much as they do us - Love Nate and Kim

What Is The Recession For?

2009-02-28T07:34:00.002-05:00

This sermon on the recession by John Piper is definitely worth your time. Click here to be directed to the Desiring God website where you can watch, listen or even read this amazing message about our economic crisis and what it means for believers.

The photo above is a firetower in the Adirondacks that we used to hike to often. Just like firetowers used to give rangers a better perspective on the wildfires in order to help them plan their response, this sermon gave me a new perspective on what is going on in the world. It's my prayer it does the same for you! Blessings! Love Kim

Winters Family Update Part III

2009-02-08T21:59:00.002-05:00

As many of you already know, our family has had the puzzling experience of trying several times to purchase a home here in Mechanicsburg (following the sale of our home in the Adirondacks in October of 2008). After about the fourth attempt, we began to look to heaven and wonder.

About a year ago, West Shore Evangelical Free Church (the church we serve in) began to feel the crunch of the economy. Early in January the elders announced their decision to lay off two full-time pastoral staff members. In mid-January they realized it would need to be three, and on January 19th Nathan was told that he was one of them.

But God is so good, and His grace is sufficient – as you have probably already found out in your own life. We praise God for several things in all of this…

1. For keeping us from purchasing a home, despite our desperate efforts to do so.

2. For our wonderful church family who continue to make us feel so loved and cared for.

3. For the place of healing West Shore has been and continues to be for every member of our family.

4. For the deep friendships the Lord has blessed us with in such a short time; we can only look forward with hope, knowing such dear friends are hoping and praying alongside us.

5. For the work God is doing and will continue to do with the young adults at West Shore – the SixTen group, “Club,” and all the rest.

6. For the opportunity to continue serving at West Shore until the end of this fiscal year (June 30). We praise God for the continued financial, emotional, professional and spiritual support of the elders, staff and whole church family as we seek to follow the Lord wherever He may lead.

God is in control, His ways are perfect, and He is taking such good care of us. Thank you so much for praying for us, especially for the children as they face yet another transition. But be encouraged for them also – with each passing day, they are growing stronger in courage and love for Jesus – Praise God! And as I’m sure you have seen in your own difficulties, things like this can be used of God to bring you closer together. We love you friends, and look forward to posting an update soon.

In Christ,
Kim (for all of us)
P.S. The photo above was taken at Nate's sister's wedding this past summer.

Boundaries

2009-02-08T14:43:00.004-05:00

Sometimes we are called on to help someone in the midst of a destructive situation or relationship. Where do we start in helping them find Christ sufficient? I think part of the answer includes helping them put a temporary “boundary” in place between themselves and the destructive person or situation. That’s what this article is about, in particular…

1. Are boundaries biblical?
2. Why should we utilize them?
3. What do boundaries look like?
4. When should they be removed?

Are “Boundaries” Biblical?
I believe boundaries are not only biblical, but in some cases, mandatory. To support that idea, let’s take a look at some clear places in God’s Word where we are commanded to erect a boundary of one type or another between ourselves and destructive people.

Dealing with Christians who lack self control
“Now we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ that you keep away from every brother who leads an unruly life and not according to the tradition which you received from us.” (2 Thess. 3:6)

Dealing with argumentative Christians
“Now I urge you, brethren, keep your eye on those who cause dissensions and hindrances contrary to the teaching which you learned, and turn away from them.” (Romans 16:17)

Dealing with immoral believers
“But actually, I wrote to you not to associate with any so-called brother if he is an immoral person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or a swindler--not even to eat with such a one.” (1 Cor. 5:11)

Dealing with false “believers”
"If anyone does not obey our instruction in this letter, take special note of that person and do not associate with him, so that he will be put to shame." (2 Thess. 3:14)

Why Boundaries?
In the face of a destructive circumstance, our response should be wise, orderly and above all agree with God’s Word and God’s character. Below are three main reasons for utilizing boundaries as a part of our response plan for the people we help.

Reason #1: Jesus Christ does not approve of abuse and neither should we
It concerns me greatly when I hear of people who encourage others to remain in (or return to) a situation where there is no reason to believe safety can be depended upon. We are not only called to be wise with the gift of life God has bestowed on us for His glory; as God’s people we are expected to reprove ruthless people, defend orphans and plead for widows. We are called to seek to deliver people from their oppressors and to vindicate the weak and the frightened. Look at these verses:

“Learn to do good; seek justice, reprove the ruthless, defend the orphan, plead for the widow.” (Isaiah 1:7)

'Thus says the LORD, "Do justice and righteousness, and deliver the one who has been robbed from the power of his oppressor. Also do not mistreat or do violence to the stranger, the orphan, or the widow; and do not shed innocent blood in this place.” (Jeremiah 22:3)

“LORD, You have heard the desire of the humble; You will strengthen their heart, You will incline Your ear to vindicate the orphan and the oppressed, so that man who is of the earth will no longer cause terror." (Psalm 10:17-18)

“But the LORD is with me like a dread champion; therefore my persecutors will stumble and not prevail they will be utterly ashamed, because they have failed, with an everlasting disgrace that will not be forgotten." (Jeremiah 20:11)

Reason #2: Our relationship with Jesus Christ is the most important relationship to protect.
The ultimate goal in life is to love God and glorify Him forever. That means we must do all we can to help those we meet with to preserve their ability to honor Him in all things, regardless the circumstances. When a relationship or situation has gotten to a place of such unhealthiness that the people we meet with are unable to continue in that relationship AND honor Christ, boundaries can give them the time and space needed to renew their minds and hearts and to follow Christ fully once again.

“Now, little children, abide in Him, so that when He appears, we may have confidence and not shrink away from Him in shame at His coming.” (1 John 2:28)

Reason #3: Safety is an essential need, and we are called by God to help provide it.
It is very difficult to help someone learn to develop soul satisfying intimacy with Christ when they are afraid to go to sleep at night. If safety cannot be provided without involving others (like legal authorities, medical and counseling professionals, etc.) then by all means, and with the permission of the person(s) we are meeting with, we should seek to involve those people. This may seem obvious, but so often well intentioned people only perpetuate a cycle of abuse by trying to handle things that are beyond their ability or equipping. Good disciplers recognize their personal limitations and utilize the God-given resources at their disposal, as God leads.

“and one of you says to them, "Go in peace, be warmed and be filled," and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that?” (James 2:16)

What Does A Good Boundary Consist Of?
Here are three characteristics of a well-placed boundary…

A ROAD BLOCK TO FURTHER DESTRUCTION
When Christ has done a work of healing in us, it is foolish to continue to expose that work of healing to destructive hands. Knowingly entering into a situation or relationship that we have every reason to believe will result in a loss of intimacy with Christ only adds to the sin of the situation. We are to be wise and careful with the work of Christ in us. One way to do that is to put in place a temporary boundary until we have reason to believe the good work of Christ within us cannot be torn back down by the destructive relationship or circumstance.

“Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.” (Eph. 5:11)

"You shall not hate your brother in your heart, but you shall reason frankly with your neighbor, lest you incur sin because of him." (Lev. 19:17)

A LIFE BOAT IN THE MIDST OF CHAOS
Since boundaries are put up in response to sinful behavior, they are not meant to be permanent (although they may need to become permanent). Boundaries are always put up in the hope that they will be able to come back down again as everyone involved submits themselves to God’s perfect plan for the abundant life. Therefore, we can think of a boundary as an inflatable life boat. No one sets out on an ocean voyage in an inflatable life boat, but they will definitely take one when the ship sinks. A boundary can help us avoid the mistake of making any hasty, life-changing decisions that only land us in another sinking ship. Boundaries can give the people we meet with the breathing room they need to get their bearings and plan a healthy, Christ-honoring course for the long haul.

“Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me.” (John 14:1)

"Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the LORD your God is the one who goes with you He will not fail you or forsake you." (Duet. 31:6)

“Watch the path of your feet and all your ways will be established.” (Prov. 4:6)

“and make straight paths for your feet, so that the limb which is lame may not be put out of joint, but rather be healed.” (Hebrews 12:13)

A STATEMENT ABOUT THE CHARACTER OF CHRIST
A boundary stands in the middle of chaos and proclaims Who Jesus Christ really is, and what He does and does not approve of inside relationships. Good boundaries serve as a constant call to everyone involved to come to this Christ who is against oppressors and who will provide shelter, healing and ultimately justice for all who are oppressed.

“but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.” (Matthew 18:6)

“As for those who persist in sin, rebuke them in the presence of all, so that the rest may stand in fear.” (1 Tim. 5:20)

“My lovingkindness and my fortress, my stronghold and my deliverer, my shield and He in whom I take refuge, Who subdues my people under me.” (Psalm 144:2)

“Who executes justice for the oppressed; Who gives food to the hungry The LORD sets the prisoners free.” (Psalm 146:7)

“He will cover you with His pinions, and under His wings you may seek refuge; His faithfulness is a shield and bulwark.” (Psalm 91:4)

“The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart exults, and with my song I shall thank Him.” (Psalm 28:7)

“You hide them in the secret place of Your presence from the conspiracies of man; You keep them secretly in a shelter from the strife of tongues.” (Psalm 31:20)

What Kinds Of Boundaries Are There?
Depending on the relationship and the particular sin inside the relationship, boundaries can take many forms. A good discipler will take the time necessary to understand the problem and then seek God and His Word for the insight in planning a boundary that will provide the elements already discussed. Boundaries are never imposed – they are suggested and embraced as God leads. Where the discipler is led of the Lord to recommend more drastic boundaries (like moving out or changing jobs), it is wise to request permission to first receive the input of other discerning people (i.e. church leaders, professional counselors, healthy family members, etc.).

“Where there is no guidance the people fall, but in abundance of counselors there is victory.” (Proverbs 11:14)

“Without consultation, plans are frustrated, but with many counselors they succeed.” (Proverbs 15:22)

When Can A Boundary Come Back Down Again?
The following questions can help a discipler and the person they meet with to discern whether or not it is time to remove the boundary. These are not the only questions that should be asked, but these questions provide a starting place for the conversation.

1. Has there been a significant heart change that leads us to believe safety can be ensured?

2. Would removing the boundary be wise as God defines wisdom?

3. Am I able to follow Christ and abide in Him with the boundary removed?

4. Do I have a godly, biblical support system in the body of Christ that I can depend upon to help me abide in Christ as the boundary is removed?

5. Do I have reason to believe the Lord is leading me to remove the boundary? What leads me to believe that?

6. What evidence exists to support the idea that true repentance has occurred as defined by God’s Word?

A Word To The Oppressed…
Placing a boundary between yourself and another person does NOT mean you are giving up on them. It does NOT mean you blame them entirely for whatever difficulty you are having. It does NOT mean you are being unbiblical. It DOES mean that you have recognized in yourself the inability to respond to their sin in ways that honor Christ, and that you are serious about not sinning against God any longer. It DOES mean that (with the help of the body of Christ) you plan on taking the steps necessary to restore your personal, intimate, love relationship with Christ and this boundary is intended to help with that. It DOES mean that you hope for restoration in this particular relationship as well, but that you are also willing to let this relationship go if reconciliation is impossible due to unrepentance. It DOES mean that the days of being unhealthy and/or contributing to something unhealthy are over for you at least, and Lord willing, will never return again.

“But let all who take refuge in You be glad, Let them ever sing for joy; And may You shelter them, That those who love Your name may exult in You.” (Psalm 5:11)

“For in the day of trouble He will conceal me in His tabernacle; In the secret place of His tent He will hide me; He will lift me up on a rock.” (Psalm 27:5)

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.” (John 10:10)

Conclusion...
This is a difficult topic, and I’m certain of one thing – I do not have a perfect take on it. But one thing I know, and that is that Jesus Christ does. Please take anything I’ve shared here and lay it out before Christ to see what He says on the topic. And then follow Him in obedience as you press on to love Him passionately and enjoy Him forever, in all your relationships.

Blessings!
-Kim

Scripture quotations taken from the New American Standard Bible®,Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973,1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)

Twas the Night Before Christmas... for Jesus

2008-12-18T07:34:00.002-05:00

Below is a link for a great sermon by Pastor Erwin Lutzer of Moody Church called “Twas the Night Before Christmas.” Since this broadcast is part of the Moody Church Hour broadcast, you need to fast forward 21 minutes and 54 seconds to get to the sermon. The sermon itself is just under 30 minutes long. Hope you get a chance to listen! It’s a great sermon to help us keep our focus on Christ this Christmas season. Click here to go to the sermon on oneplace.com. Merry Christmas!
P.S. My favorite part of this sermon was thinking about all the ways Jesus humbled Himself when He took on human flesh so that I could be redeemed. Praise God!

The Greatest Gift - Forgiveness

2008-12-10T21:19:00.000-05:00

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)

I think at the root of many of our struggles as born again believers is that we don’t enjoy the gift of forgiveness the way God intends. We receive this gift with thankfulness, and we believe in it by the grace of God, but then we put it on a shelf somewhere, failing to open it up, explore it and enjoy it in ways that could benefit us deeply.

Have you ever thought that our ability to enjoy the gift of forgiveness is directly tied to our thoughts about it? As I hope you’ll see in this article, God’s numerous thoughts about forgiveness are personal, three dimensional and organic, whereas ours can be distant and few and far between. As we seek God for the renewal of our minds (Romans 12:2), let’s pursue Him for the discipline of thinking about forgiveness often, and in ways that reflect the awesome gift it truly is. It’s my hope this article will help you to do just that.

Below you’ll find nine different ways God describes what He has done with the sins of every born again believer (Colossians 2:13-14), and what He continues to do with them as we seek Him for forgiveness from sin daily (Matthew 6:9-13). It’s my hope the consideration of these nine different perspectives on forgiveness will strengthen your faith in God’s ability to forgive your sins and deepen you joy in having been given such an amazing gift as this. May you rejoice with me as we realize more clearly than ever before, that His mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23) – praise God!

#1 God has WASHED AWAY your sin.

“Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.” (Psalm 51:7)

“But if we walk in the Light as He Himself is in the Light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin.” (1 John 1:7)

Jesus Christ is the only One Who can make you clean. Not just make you feel clean, but actually make you clean, inside and out. Only He can purify our souls and wash our hearts until in His eyes, we are whiter than snow. Do you live like the pure beauty you are? Do you let it amaze you again and again that Jesus not only possesses the ability to wash you, but He always stands ready and willing to do so? Once you have trusted Christ for the forgiveness of your sins initially, you are clean (John 13:10) and yet He also commands us to go to Him on a daily basis to confess our sins to Him and to have those sins washed away (Matthew 6:9-13). But the daily washing we enjoy as born again believers is not a washing for salvation (that washing happens when you first trust Christ as your Savior), but rather a washing for beauty – a removing of everything we’ve done that might possibly detract from the beauty of Christ within us. And do you realize that this washing not only makes us clean, but it makes us more and more beautiful in His eyes? (See Psalm 45:7, 11!). Do you feel beautiful to God? Do you believe He is looking at you with eyes of love right at this moment? If not, perhaps you have never gone to Him for that first precious washing – (see the "Two Ways to Live" button on this blog for more on how to do that.) But “No,” you say, “I am born again, and yet I still am not convinced that God is looking at me with eyes of love right now." Could it be that you have gotten out of the habit of going to Him for your daily washing? Or perhaps that you've gotten away from believing that daily washing is making you more and more beautiful to Christ? Well, there’s no better time than the PRESENT to enjoy once again the amazing GIFT of forgiveness (get it?).

And as you tell Him about the wrongs you’ve done in prayer, and as you ask Him to forgive you and cleanse you from your sin, ask Him to help you to believe those sins are being washed down the drain, leaving you spotless, pure and beautiful to Him. And then I hope you’ll take some time to enjoy the joy of your Savior, your Husband (Isaiah 54:5) as He delights in your beauty. See His eyes of love for you and respond by worshipping Him with a song or a poem that you made up about how wonderful He is! He must love you very much to be willing to do this for you again, and again, and again. What a remarkable gift forgiveness is. And this is only #1!

#2 God has BLOTTED OUT your sin.

“Be gracious to me, O God, according to Your lovingkindness; According to the greatness of Your compassion blot out my transgressions.” (Psalm 51:1)

“Hide Your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquities.” (Psalm 51:9)

As if being washed by Jesus Himself is not enough, He tells us that He “blots out” our sins as well – according to His lovingkindness. Wow. The dictionary definition of “blot out” is “to destroy utterly – to annihilate.” Jesus wants us to know that only He can utterly destroy our sins. And yet He does so in His lovingkindness – making sure to destroy my sin, and yet so careful to preserve me. Only Jesus can do that. Have you taken your sin to Jesus Christ to be destroyed? Are you believing in your sin’s destruction the way He expects you to? Maybe you keep bringing those sins up again and again in your mind, sins long since forgiven in Christ, and Jesus is wondering what you keep talking to yourself about. Believing in God’s ability to annihilate our sins is another way we can bring Him the glory He is due. Only Jesus could purchase such a strong forgiveness for us. Only He can blot out your sins, so that even you forget about them.

#3 God has SEALED UP your sins in a bag.

“My transgression is sealed up in a bag, and You wrap up my iniquity.” (Job 14:17)

But now you have a sin issue that seems to die, but then it revives. And what you really need is Someone Who can deal effectively with a sin like that. And you think about Jesus, and how He has washed your sins away, and how He has annihilated your sin, and so now you take this sin to Him so that He can seal it up in a bag like He says He does. Of course He seals it up in a bag, because it can’t breathe in a bag! But oh, you are tempted for a minute to grab that sin back and give it one last breath, – but no, Jesus says, it needs to be in this bag here, sealed up like this. And now He thinks it would be better if you stopped looking at the bag, and so He wraps it up so that you don’t have to look at it anymore. And now it’s just a wrapped up, suffocated sin thanks to Jesus Christ. Have you taken that sin you are struggling with and watched as Jesus seals it up in a bag forever? Isn’t it amazing that we serve a risen Savior Who is willing to do this for us – every time, no matter how often we seek Him for forgiveness and help with those sins we think we might never be free from? Keep bringing it to Him, never stop bringing it to Him. Only Jesus can seal our sins up in a bag so that they die for good.

#4 He has COVERED your sin.

“How blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered!” (Psalm 32:1)

“You forgave the iniquity of Your people; You covered all their sin.” (Psalm 85:2)

Sin against God always has serious consequences, and sometimes those consequences (especially the more permanent and painful ones) can make it feel difficult to believe that our sin (and its consequences) have actually been covered by God like He says it has in these verses. Sometimes it seems like even though we know we have received forgiveness for sin, that the consequences will forever shout out “Shame! Shame!” But look at Ephesians 1:7-8...

In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace which He lavished on us. In all wisdom and insight.

Did you catch that? Our forgiveness is according to the RICHES of His GRACE which He LAVISHED upon us. Does that sound like it will cover everything connected to the trespass, including the consequences? I think it does. Consequences of forgiven sin are drowning in the grace of God, and because of that, we can trust Him to transform even those consequences into something for our good. I think we should see even those very difficult consequences as cords of love that are binding our hearts closer to Jesus Christ than was ever before possible. Does that mean we should be happy about the consequences? Yes and no. I believe God can ultimately make you rejoice in what He uses to draw you closer to Him, but you need never fake it with God. If the consequences are painful and too much for you to bear, call on Him to walk you through those consequences every step of the way like He promises to (Isaiah 43:2, Psalm 23:4). Call on Him for the ability to see how He is going to use those consequences to draw you closer than ever before to Himself. Isn’t forgiveness amazing? Only Jesus can take even the consequences of our sin and turn them into something beautiful.

#5 God has CARRIED your sin FAR AWAY from you.

“As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us." (Psalm 103:12)

So not only are we to see our sins being washed off, destroyed, sealed up in a bag and covered by Christ, but now we see God Himself actually sending our sins on a one-way trip away from us. This is exciting because it means we never have to run into those sins again – ever! As soon as they are forgiven in Christ they begin a journey in the opposite direction to where Christ plans to take us. And now we see that Christ is leading us to get moving in that new direction, which also happens to be the opposite direction of where my old sin is going. And just to make sure I don’t accidentally get confused and go running down the path after my dead and departed sin again, I think I’ll hold onto Jesus’ hand more tightly than I’ve ever done before. Saying goodbye to some sins can be a very painful experience. So painful in fact, we might even shed tears and hope for postcards! Which is exactly why we need to get moving to that new land with Jesus Christ as soon as possible – a new place where He has promised to fill all my empty, aching spots with Himself. Only Jesus can do that. Only He is able to say to me...

“Why do you spend money for what is not bread, and your wages for what does not satisfy? Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good, and delight yourself in abundance.” (Isaiah 55:2)

#6 God has TRAMPLED ON your sin.

“He will again have compassion on us; He will tread our iniquities under foot.” (Micah 7:19)

And now, just in case we haven’t been amazed at all the ways God deals with our sins – just in case we aren’t overjoyed at His ability to wash our sins away, and destroy our sin, and seal our sins up in a bag, and cover our sin, and send our sins packing on an eternal one way hiking trip, now we are told that God treads on our sins under His feet! And that makes me think of things like earwigs that need to be stomped on, but instead of stomping on them I run for the hills and call for someone else to come and get them. But my sin is much more hideous than an earwig in God’s eyes, and yet here He is, calmly trampling my sins under His beautiful feet. And that’s when I realize how important it is for me to stay close by this Savior, this fearless One who is the only one able to deal with the ugliness that comes out of my heart and the hearts of others (Jeremiah 17). The only One with the power over sin, and death, and evil itself. Only Jesus can trample my sin so that it utterly dies, and yet preserve my life so that I truly live.

#7 He has THROWN your sin into the DEPTHS OF THE SEA.

“Yes, You will cast all their sins into the depths of the sea.” (Micah 7:19)

And what about those sins that you beat yourself up over? What about those things that seem so heavy, so impossible, so ugly, so horrible? And you keep remembering them and trying to pay for them in some way, but it seems like you can never possibly feel bad enough about it. But then you remember how Jesus washed your sins away, and blotted them out, and sealed them in a bag, and carried them away, and covered them in His grace and trampled them under His feet – now we learn that He drowns our sin in the depths of the sea. And so you bring those sins to Jesus, those sins that really weigh you down. And you wonder how in the world He will ever lift such a heavy load as this one. And you’re just so tired of carrying it, so tired of the secrecy and the control. And so you are barely able to flop it down at His feet, and in one fell swoop He takes that sin and He casts that sin into the depths of the sea. And you are so relieved! It’s gone! It’s gone! And it feels so good to be truly freed from that heavy load – you feel like you can skip and laugh and lift your hands in praise to God for the first time in years! Why in the world did you waste so much time carrying that thing around? Only Jesus is able to take those sins you’ve been trying to carry, and cast them into the depths of the sea.

#8 He has CAST your sin BEHIND HIS BACK.

“It is You who has kept my soul from the pit of nothingness, for You have cast all my sins behind Your back.” (Isaiah 38:17)

But now you are tempted to think of yourself through all those past failures. And then you are tempted to think that surely God will do the same – that He will see you through all your past sins and failures. I mean, how can He really love you when He is intimately acquainted with all the sins you’ve committed over all these years. But then you read this verse here, and you think this is a very good sign. Why would He go to the trouble of making sure you know that He has put your sins behind His back? Because He wants to be sure you know that He does not look at you through all of those past mistakes. Others may look at you that way, and even you may be tempted to look at yourself that way, but He will never look at you that way. He will not waste His time looking at anything He has already worked so hard to remove. “Aren’t they already paid for by My blood?” Jesus asks. “Well if so, you should not open your mouth about them anymore.” (see Ezekiel 16, especially verse 63). And now you can see He is really determined that you believe He is not looking at those sins anymore, but only looking at you. And for the first time you can see His wonderful face even more clearly than before, and you can see how much He truly does love you, and how proud He is of you, how delighted in you He is, and that makes you want to love and serve Him all the more. Only Jesus goes through all the pain of removing our sins, and then goes even further to make sure we know in our hearts that He does not look at us through all those past mistakes. How great is Jesus anyway?

#9 He has WIPED OUT your sins

“I, even I, am the one who wipes out your transgressions for My own sake, and I will not remember your sins.” (Isaiah 43:25)

And finally, now that Jesus has washed your sins off, blotted them out, sealed them up in a bag, covered them with Himself, carried them far away, trampled on them, buried them in the depths of the sea and removed them from between the two of you, you should be so completely amazed at how amazing forgiveness really is! But perhaps you are thinking – “What about those sins I’ve never told anyone about, even Jesus. Those sins I’m not even sure I’ve allowed myself to admit to myself? Is forgiveness strong enough to deal with those sins as well?” And you realize, after all these other ways that you have seen Jesus deal perfectly with your sins, surely you have good reason to believe He can be trusted to handle these as well. And so you open your heart to Him, giving Him total access to every part of you, asking Him for forgiveness for even those things you’ve hardly had the courage to admit to yourself. And you are once again amazed that He is not at all afraid of what He finds there, only determined to deal with each sin, once and for all. And so one by one, He takes each sin, and because of His blood, He wipes them all away.

And there you are, standing in the presence of such a great Savior. And now your heart is full of praise and worship for such a great King as this. You can’t imagine how you’ve gone this long without truly enjoying this gift of forgiveness the way He intended. But for a split second you draw back from praising Him. For a moment you are overcome by the thought that perhaps He doesn’t love you like you think He does. After all, you have been a tremendous burden to Him, and will most likely continue to be so until you die. There are other people He would certainly love since their sin is probably less ugly and burdensome and dark as yours is. And then He sees your furrowed brow, and He draws you a little bit closer and says…

“Come now, and let us reason together," Says the LORD,
"Though your sins are as scarlet, They will be as white as snow;
Though they are red like crimson, They will be like wool.” (Isaiah 1:18)

“AND THEIR SINS AND THEIR LAWLESS DEEDS I WILL REMEMBER NO MORE." (Heb. 10:17)

"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine!” (Isaiah 43:1)

Our God is great – and greatly to be praised.

“Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:32)

Love Miss Kim

Scripture quotations taken from the New American Standard Bible®,Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973,1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)

Tillie The Talking Christmas Tree!

2008-11-30T20:29:00.003-05:00

The photo above shows Tillie the Talking Christmas tree – just one of a million things my mom would bring to our local mall to transform it into a glorious winter wonderland back in the 70’s. (She was the mall’s Promotions Director Extraordinaire while I was a kid). And since she was my mom, I would often fill in for the young women who failed to show up for their Tillie shift, and what a blast that was! The cute little children lined up to speak to Tillie and you looked at them through a two-way mirror in the front. Then you would talk to them through a microphone while moving the mouth (it goes up and down) with a foot pedal. You could even turn the head all the way around with these metal handlebars above your head. The hardest part was getting into and out of Tillie through the little door in the back without the children seeing you. Sometimes security guards would help by blocking their view while you awkwardly stumbled your way in through the branches, trying to be careful not to smash your face as you dove in. (The door was so tiny!) One time I had to call for security while I was in Tillie because I realized my big wooden mouth had fallen off mid-sentence! My little customers in line were quite horrified, but thankfully a faithful guard came and put all back to rights with a little duct tape – or it might have been gum. Being Tillie eventually turned into one of my favorite part-time jobs of the past, seconded only to being a pretend mechanical elf in one of the Christmas displays (yes I was!). I was also the Easter Bunny’s helper at Easter (I believe I carried a large plastic egg around for hours) and the Pink Panther for a home show – plus some other things that only my mom remembers. Anyway – just wanted to share these memories with you and put you in the Christmas spirit! Or at least in the mall spirit, since you will most likely be spending some time there pretty soon! Merry Christmas! Love, Miss Kim

How a Pig-Skunk Saved My Marriage

2008-10-12T18:47:00.002-04:00

There is a skunk the size of a pig that lives in the dumpster near our apartment. Our dog OhBeJoyful (OhBe for short) had his second run in with “pig-skunk” just this morning – Sunday morning – the morning after my husband returned from his lengthy missions trip to Bosnia.

But pig-skunk was only a small part of the disaster of our reunion – a disaster which actually began in my heart about 4 days ago. That was about the time I started formulating in my mind all the wonderful reunion scenes Nathan and I would enjoy upon his return.

First there was the scene of him dropping his luggage and running toward me to pick me up in a warm embrace. Then there was the scene of a candlelight dinner at our favorite restaurant where he passionately explained all the amazing things he had done and said and experienced while I listened intently and munched on chips and salsa. Then there was the scene the next day in church where hand-in-hand we went pew to pew, sharing how Nathan could not have done it without my sacrifice – without my prayers, without my beauty – and how he just couldn’t believe he had made it three weeks without me. Surely one day a real movie would be made of our love for each other and our love for others, and of his love for me, and of my love for him.

But that’s not exactly how the actual scene played itself out…

First there was the greeting scene. Nathan got out of the van and one of the first things he did was to get his luggage. Never one for dropping anything, I’m sure the dropping and the embracing would work out better in the apartment anyway. But once inside the door, his first words to me were something like: “I have bad news – and that news is that I had the stomach flu yesterday. I’m exhausted, and actually hungry – I think the best thing for me to have would be some scrambled eggs and bacon. Do we have any bacon?”

Now this was indeed a far cry from the scene in my mind, but being the self-sacrificing servant that I am, I immediately went into “get some bacon” mode – putting all my little expectations aside (or were they big expectations?) and heading out the door. “Try to hurry” my sensitive husband said in a tone of impatience. “Hmmm,” I thought to myself, “this reunion may take more Holy Spirit power than I had originally banked on.” But no matter – once fed, surely my husband would re-boot as the wonderful, wife-worshiping person I had dreamed him to be.

Back at the ranch I quickly began the bacon preparations. After several days without water in Bosnia (and with the stomach flu) Nathan felt a shower was in order, but not before he gave me some last minute advice: “Not too crispy and – whoa – that’s way too much, I only want four pieces.” “Hmmm,” I thought to myself. “Perhaps I should drop to my knees in prayer right here and now before I kill someone.” (This internal statement was a big red flag I know, but somehow I pressed passed it in all my self-sacrificing servant glory).

When my showered and freshly dressed husband reappeared, I waited with bated breath for all the extra thanks for my extra-sacrifice, and all my patience and loving care and how I had clearly put all my expectations on hold to take care of his needs. Instead he said: “Wow – you have every light in the house on. Let’s turn some of these off.” Needless to say, the next thing I did (after putting his eggs and bacon down none too gently) was to go for a long walk with the dog (my one friend). While on that walk I immediately began sharing my situation with Jesus. He listened to me very carefully, and then I had the peculiar sense that He was laughing. Not necessarily laughing at me, but trying to laugh with me (if I could only come off my high horse of self-sacrifice long enough.) I must admit, that sensing Him laugh made me actually laugh out loud. And that laughter turned to good conviction – a sense of my sin in leaving my dependence on Christ, and looking for what I needed in my husband. I asked Him for forgiveness and felt such a warmth in my heart, such an affirmation that I was on the right track. He shared with me that when I am reunited with Him in heaven, he will not ask me to go out and get bacon. He will not tell me to turn lights off – He will love me better than I have ever been loved in my whole life. And this was such an awesome thought that I was just overjoyed and encouraged – but here is where I went wrong. Instead of taking the time to turn all my reunion dreams over to Him, surrendering myself once again to the rightful rule of my Savior, and instead of taking the time to pray about my need for Him to help me to depend on Him truly – I was like: “Thank you for those kind words Jesus, now I must really run because I need to get back to my apartment where my husband is probably waiting by the door, praying for a second chance.”

Only when I came in the door, I did not find anyone waiting there, praying for a second chance. Instead I found my dear husband collapsed on the couch watching football, with nary a twinge of conviction on his face. “Was your walk good?” he asked. If only I had said: “Yes – my walk was very good – and I found out that I love myself way too much, and that my only hope of escape is Christ. And I also found out that I love the idea of you loving me way too much, and I need Christ for the help to keep that from becoming an idol in my life – can you pray for me?” But since I had not taken the time it would have taken for that to come out of my heart, and then out of my mouth, I did what every person who depends on themselves or on the behavior of others does – I pouted.

And I was still pouting this morning when I “sacrificially” let everyone else sleep while I got up early to take the dog out. And it was then that OhBe ran head first into pig-skunk. The stench of that smell (and by the way, if you’ve never gotten first-whiff of a skunk before – it is so strong it doesn’t even smell like a skunk – it smells like something I can’t even describe.) is so repulsive, so utterly impossible to tolerate, it made me gag. I was utterly appalled by it. And that reminded me of this verse…

“Be appalled,O heavens, at this, and shudder, be very desolate," declares the LORD.
For My people have committed two evils: they have forsaken Me, the fountain of living waters,
to hew for themselves cisterns, broken cisterns that can hold no water. (Jeremiah 2:12-13)

And I got the direct sense that Jesus wasn’t laughing anymore. That Jesus was very interested in what I was going to do next, and that it was very important that I had better choose quickly. So with the stench still in my own nostrils (and a little bit on my body) I asked for forgiveness from the Fountain of Living Waters. And I asked for the strength to really depend on Him this time, not on myself, and not on Nathan. And that led to me asking for forgiveness from Nate – and for a “Do-over” on the whole reunion thing. One where I am not the director and star of my own fantasy – one where I am a servant of the King, with the privilege of being married to one of His children, for better or for worse. And do you know what Nathan did? He forgave me. And he even said that he wished he could have been a little more like the guy in my movie – which was very sweet and kind. But I want to remember that for as sweet as Nathan is - Jesus is better, and He deserves nothing less than first place in my heart. My husband is the first person to tell me that – and he rejoices most when Christ is on my godshelf, and he (Nathan) is in the second place spot. Nathan knows better than anyone just how needy I am and how unable any person is to be a god for me. Jesus is the only One who can truly meet my needs deep down. He is also the only One coming back for me – to take me to heaven – to be with Him forever. And that will be a reunion worth waiting for!

Blessings!
Miss Kim

Scripture quotations taken from the New American Standard Bible®,Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973,1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)

Christian Leadership Part Two - Placing Limits

2008-09-20T10:16:00.000-04:00

This article covers the following…

True discipleship (leading others to delight in Christ) takes time.
Effective discipleship includes placing LIMITS on ourselves.
Discipleship is not complicated – it’s being in the body of Christ.

As you may know, a group of us have been going through 2 Timothy and talking about what it means to be a Christ-centered leader. In our second meeting we began with these four verses…

“Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God, according to the promise of life in Christ Jesus, to Timothy, my beloved son: Grace, mercy and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord. I thank God, whom I serve with a clear conscience the way my forefathers did, as I constantly remember you in my prayers night and day, longing to see you, even as I recall your tears, so that I may be filled with joy.” (2 Timothy 1:1-4)

What Would It Take?
As we considered the leadership of Paul exhibited in his first few words to Timothy, we asked ourselves the following question: “What would it take for me to be the kind of person who “constantly” remembers someone in my “prayers night and day” with a “longing” in my heart to see them again that is so strong, it brings me to “tears”?

Being Careful With The Sheep I’m Given
Spiritual and emotional investment of this depth takes time. And in order to actually have this type of time we must be intentional about how we plan for and spend the time we have. In terms of personal ministry, we must be FOCUSSED and LIMITED in our Timothy-like commitments. That begins by being certain who it is God has called us to minister to in this way.

The Ministry Target Activity
To that end, we discussed our ministry targets (homework assignment from CL part one) wherein we plotted out all the people we know and love on a piece of paper with concentric circles drawn on it (the concentric circles are drawn like a target). We placed the people whom we believe the Lord has called us to minister to in an intentional, personal, one-on-one capacity on the inner circles. We placed other people (people we know and love, but not necessarily in the way Paul was called to love Timothy) on one of the outer circles on the target. The further away the person was from the center of the target, the less intentional, personal, one-on-one ministry involvement we share. As we placed names (or stick figures), we prayed through each person, asking God to confirm whether or not we had put them in the right spot on the target (or even whether they belonged on the target at all!) Then we also asked the Lord to reveal to us any additional people we had not yet placed on the target that belonged there. Some people simply prayed as they plotted, others prayed after they plotted, and then added/arranged names as they were led of the Lord. When we were done, we had our ministry target for the near future (an exercise we will do again in 6-12 months). The next step is to plan out our time spent with the individuals – especially those that are on the inner circle(s) of the ministry target. Our goal is to be wise and intentional with the time we have and with the people we have been called to minister to. We have found that in this culture, availability (or the lack thereof) can be one of the biggest hindrances to effective personal ministry.

“For God is not a God of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints.”
(1 Cor. 14:33)

No More Than Twelve Timothys
If we truly hope to invest in people as Paul did with Timothy, we must limit the number of people we place on the innermost circle. Now I’m the first person to hate even the term “inner circle,” let alone the typical definition for that term, and it is for that reason (the fear of being perceived as being exclusive) that we often over-commit and get ourselves into trouble in ministry. Why do we think we are more capable than Jesus Himself who only had twelve people on his inner circle, and only 3 on His innermost circle (Peter, James & John)? If anyone could have taken on more, it is God Himself! But for some reason, He didn’t. And in doing so, even God Himself did not avoid seeming exclusive. I’m sure there were people at that time that felt miffed because He didn’t take them on. (And I often think of Matthias, who all along was the true disciple, but had to wait on the outer rims until Judas was revealed as being false – see Acts 1:23-26). But other people’s expectations, interpretations and/or misunderstandings have never driven Jesus’ decisions, and they should never drive ours.

How Can I Know?
If our ministry efforts are going to be effective and Christ-like, we must take the time to get alone with the Lord and determine who it is He has placed in our lives to be cared for by Him. There is no formula for actually determining who belongs on the target and where they belong – except this one: You + Jesus + Time Alone + A Surrendered Heart.

If we are married, we already have one person on the inner circle – no waiting in prayer needed! (except perhaps time spent asking Christ to give you more of a servant’s heart for hubby!). Children (especially if still living in the home) must also be placed there. So if we have four children, plus one husband, we already have five people in the inner circle of the target. There is room for up to seven more if we stick to the idea of 12, but only miraculously gifted individuals can have 12! I think typically for the women I know, 6 total is a good number to shoot for at any given time. So for example, if I have two kids and one husband, I have room for 3 Timothy’s in my life. Right now I have 5, which has made my life chaotic (only because I’m not as gifted as some of my more disciplined sisters in Christ). As I write this my dresser is piled with things my husband collected from around the home, I’ve missed meetings I should have been at and I haven’t had quality alone time with my kids in weeks. If I continue on this path, I will crash and burn (and eat an entire bag of salt and vinegar chips somewhere in there), and that’s not the “child of the King” God intends for me to be! It reminds me of a character (Mrs. Jellyby) in one of my favorite Dickens novels (Bleak House) who is consumed with ministry efforts in a place called Borrioboola Gha – and meanwhile her home and children are literally falling down all around her. Dear Lord, save me from being a Jellyby! (For a real laugh, look up Bleak House and read chapter 4 – “Telescopic Philanthropy”– or better yet, go get the entire novel from your public library – Dickens Rocks!)

The Importance of Being Limited
It’s humbling to limit ourselves in this way. It’s difficult to say to someone: “I’m so sorry that I can’t spend time with you because I’ve already spent all my time this week.” It hurts our sensibilities to disappoint people – especially needy ones. But it is so necessary. It’s so important to acknowledge our daily inability to be God and our passionate commitment to obey Him. If I never disappoint anyone in ministry, I’ve only succeeded in helping them find ME faithful, when all along they were supposed to be finding HIM faithful! We limit ourselves not just to keep order in our lives, and not just for the sake of our families, but also to show our dependence on Christ and to acknowledge our inabilities publicly to others. I must refuse to believe the ever-accepted lie in our culture that more is better. I must resist the temptation to spread myself 10 miles wide and only an inch deep. I must gather people around me who will remind me that the only thing I really have to offer anyone is intimacy with Christ, and I can’t offer that if I’m not actually cultivating a life of intimacy with Him myself. When I limit myself in this way, I am being more like Jesus and less like Jellyby – PRAISE GOD!

"A pupil is not above his teacher; but everyone, after he has been fully trained, will be like his teacher." (Luke 6:40)

That doesn’t mean you stop doing the things that are effective for the masses (like writing books, articles, blogs, etc.) but it does mean that your personal one-on-one ministry time is orderly, planned and sane and occupies the rightful place on your ministry target as you seek to be a helpful, engaged part of your local body of Christ. If you are called to do things for “the masses” make sure you don’t allow those things to consume time and energy meant for “the few.” There is a place for the masses on your target – usually one of the outer circles. Never forget that the masses will turn on you at any given moment, and the masses will never remember you – the masses won’t come to your hospital bed and the masses won’t take care of your kids if you go to be with Jesus early. The masses will read what you say and then attribute it to someone else. And most importantly, the masses don’t need you – they need Jesus Christ Himself. Sure you can help point them to Him, and you should try - but ultimately “the masses” must individually find Christ, and they will most likely do that inside their own local body of Christ, hopefully finding a place on someone else’s ministry target and forgetting all about you! Keep some of that in mind when you do stuff for the masses. Make a determination today that you will stay centered on Christ while you ACTUALLY participate in what God is doing in the lives of the believers you live with. INVEST in a few, like Jesus did, and leave the rat race behind for good.

“Now we who are strong ought to bear the weaknesses of those without strength and not just please ourselves. Each of us is to please his neighbor for his good, to his edification.”
(Romans 15:1-2)

At Least One Timothy
On the other end of the spectrum is the person who does not have any Timothy’s in their life at all. And there are legitimate reasons to abstain from one-on-one ministry – for example if you cannot be trusted to respect personal boundaries. But if that does not describe you, I want to encourage you that no matter where you are in your spiritual walk, there is someone less mature than you who can benefit from your investment in their life. That doesn’t mean you need to start scheduling weekly meetings with someone, but it does mean that you begin to be intentional about the people in your life and at least begin to pray about ways Christ is equipping you to pour into their lives in some Christ-exalting way. If you believe the following passage….

“But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit."
(2 Cor. 3:18)

Then you join with me in believing that even that small thing Jesus has done in your life is GLORIOUS because Jesus has done it. And if Jesus has done something – ANYTHING in your life, He may also be calling you to share it with another person and help them find that “something” to be true in their own walk with Him. It is unlikely you currently have your plate full with 11 children and one husband. And of course there will be seasons in life when you must discipline yourself to receive only, but ask yourself whether or not you have legitimate reasons or convenient excuses. Don’t let fear of failure keep you from sharing your small victories in Christ! Sure tomorrow may bring new failures, but today you have found victory – and you can share how you found it with other believers who are out there looking desperately for it – this is what discipleship is all about!

When God Brings Us A Difficult Timothy
We also spent some time de-bunking the myth that we are always called to help the difficult person. We discussed how we can become overwhelmed with the needs of some people, and how we need to be careful and wise (which may call for accountability) to not attempt to help someone simply because they need help and/or we think we can (or think we should be able to) help them. Whenever we enter into ministry relationships motivated by this wrong thinking we run the risk of extending our spiritual resources in ways that are outside of God’s equipping. This most often results in conviction, anxiety, confusion and burnout. This is an important topic, and since this article is already waaaaaay long, I’m going to save it for my next posting.

Homework for next meeting:

1. Finish your ministry target as described above, or start one today!
2. Plan out your time with the inner circle people as you pray for wisdom.
3. Continue reading in 2 Timothy and taking notes on your insights.

Blessings!
Miss Kim

Scripture quotations taken from the New American Standard Bible®,Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973,1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)

Christian Leadership Part One

2008-07-29T20:51:00.000-04:00

You can’t help but impact the people around you. The question is not: “Am I making an impact?” The question is rather: “What kind of an impact am I making?” An even better question might be: “What is my life teaching others?” And for Christian leaders more specifically: “What is my life teaching others about God?”

Even when we aren’t involved in any formal ministry, our lives are proclaiming something about God. What is the predominate message of your life? What are people learning about Jesus as they “read” your life? What are they discovering about what you believe?

I long for a life that teaches others to run to Christ and find their delight in Him; a life that says: “Jesus is IT! Jesus is everything to me! He’s the only One able to meet me at my place of need! He’s the only One worthy of my total devotion!” So how can we be careful to have lives that proclaim these kinds of things? Today a group of us met to talk about what it means to not only lead others to Christ, but to lead them to find their delight in Him. Here’s what we found…

BEING A GOOD LEADER MEANS BEING A GOOD FOLLOWER
One of the first things our lives must proclaim, regardless the level of our leadership is this: “I am a Christian leader who is first and foremost a Christ-FOLLOWER.” Here are some important verses on that subject…

“Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me.” (Matthew 16:24)

“And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me.” (Mark 10:38)

“My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow Me;” (John 10:27)

To have a life that proclaims Christ worthy, we must be LIVING out our decision to follow Him. That means ACTUALLY being TOTALLY dependent on Christ, in big and small ways, every day, no days off. What’s the first significant step on the road to total dependence?

I MUST KNOW THE REAL CHRIST!
Who am I following? Jesus Christ. But which Jesus? Today there are many “imaginary” jesuses – you know – the jesus that people think should be reality, based largely on what they believe is and is not fair - a belief usually supported primarily by personal experience. But there is only One True Savior. Only One Messiah Who can save. Only One Jesus who actually cares about me and has a plan for me and gives me ACTUAL power to NOT SIN. How can I be sure I’m following the One True Christ? How can I be certain I haven’t accidentally formed a jesus idol to follow – an idol that has no power to actually lead me where I need to go?

And as if this wasn’t confusing enough, there are other powers at work in this world seeking to gain our followership all the time. There is the power of my own heart, which (because of the fall) is sick and deceptive (Jer. 17:9), but also demands I pay attention to it all the time. Then there are the hearts of others (and they have the same heart problem as I do) which would also like my worship if I would only give it. There is the power of the forces of evil, constantly looking for someone to devour, usually by finding a worshipper as well. And then there is the Holy Spirit – the Spirit of Christ – the only One worthy of my worship. The only One Whom I can worship rightly. How can I tell the difference between imaginary jesus, myself, others, the enemy and the One True Christ? It’s not as easy as you may think!

I MUST KNOW CHRIST AS SAVIOR
You know this of course, but sometimes it’s good to remember the basics. Before I can begin the adventure of following Christ and growing in my knowledge of Christ, I must first come to Christ on God’s terms, as He has made clear in His Word. I do this by being enabled by Him to believe that what Jesus Christ did on the cross is sufficient to forgive me of my sins. If you have never trusted in what Christ did on the cross for the forgiveness of your sins, you may want to read about when I first did. Click on this link and find out how someone like you can begin a relationship with Christ today.

What I Believe

I MUST GROW IN MY KNOWLEDGE OF CHRIST EACH DAY
Now that I have trusted Christ for salvation, I have the great privilege of pressing on to know EVERYTHING about Christ that I can possibly discover. Where can I discover things about the One True Christ? In the Bible for starters. It is here that I can find out what He loves and what He hates, whom He esteems and whom He is set against, what makes Him angry and what pleases Him, what He has promised me and what He hasn’t promised me, what He is like, and what He isn’t like, what He has done in the past and what He plans to do in the future, what He thinks about, laughs about, gets angry about and so much more. Why must I know all these things? Because in order to follow Him well, I must know Him well. Here are some verses that really command us to set our hearts to know Him, and know Him well…

1. We have been saved in order to know Him

“You are My witnesses,” declares the LORD, “And My servant whom I have chosen, so that you may know and believe Me and understand that I am He. Before Me there was no God formed, and there will be none after Me.” (Isaiah 43:10)

2. Seeking to know Him more and more is a sign of spiritual maturity.

“until we all attain to the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a mature man, to the measure of the stature which belongs to the fullness of Christ.” (Eph. 4:13)

“that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death” (Phil. 3:10)

3. Our love for others must abound in real knowledge of God…

“And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in real knowledge and all discernment” (Phil. 1:9)

4. Knowing God is part of what makes you useful and fruitful for His kingdom

“seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence. For by these He has granted to us His precious and magnificent promises, so that by them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world by lust. Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge, and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness, and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they render you neither useless nor unfruitful in the true knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (2 Peter 1:3-8)

5. Knowing His character is intimately tied to trusting His hand

“For this reason I also suffer these things, but I am not ashamed; for I know whom I have believed and I am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him until that day.” (2 Timothy 1:12)

SO WHAT ARE SOME PRACTICAL WAYS TO KNOW HIM?
God gives us infinite ways and means to know Him, but here are two ways we discussed today…

1. Study His Character – His Attributes
Like I already said, we find out Who God is by reading His love letter to us, the Bible. There we scour His Word daily, prayerfully – pressing into it until the hazy silhouette of His character comes forward in distinct clarity in a way we can meditate on all day long. But if you are just starting out on your journey to know God better, it can also be helpful to have a book designed to guide you through important passages in God’s Word that proclaim significant things about Who God is. As you find new things about God’s attributes, you can keep an attribute journal in which you take a new thing you found about His character and seek to imitate that attribute in some significant way that day. Of course there are many attributes you can’t imitate (like omnipresence for example) but with those you can take that day to stand in awe of Him.

So if you are looking for a good book (or books) to help you with studying His character, you might want to start with A.W. Tozer’s book, The Knowledge of the Holy. Next, enjoy A.W. Pink’s book The Attributes of God. (Yes – both authors have the first name initials of A.W.!) After that, try The Glory of Christ by John Owen (my personal favorite), and Cries from the Cross by Erwin Lutzer. As you read the last two, it might be a fun exercise to take every opportunity (for like a week or so) to ask as many people as possible the following question: “So what do you think is so great about Jesus?” This is an amazing question to ask, and the answers are going to surprise you, and hopefully encourage you greatly. And this is a side note, but in community it is becoming increasingly important to be intentional about seeking to gently turn conversations to Him and His glory. As self-obsession becomes the norm of our culture, we have to help one another do little and big things to get the focus off of self and onto Christ. Plead with Him for an increased ability to focus on Him and a renewed mind to think about Him and His glory all day long, with people and also while alone. You will be transformed into what you think about – so think about Jesus! (Romans 12:12; 2 Cor. 3:18)

2. Enjoy His Presence
Following Christ from the heart means actually LOVING Him – which means actually ENJOYING Him, day in and day out. But enjoying God’s presence is not something that comes naturally to any of us. We must be changed by Him in order to enjoy Him. That means moving beyond knowledge to actual intimacy with the living God. And like any good relationship, it takes time. We must find the time, or take the time or fight for the time or redeem the time to get to know Him and grow a circumcised heart that experiences His presence, fears Him rightly and worships Him constantly. We must not waste any time lying to Him or to ourselves (or pretending to know Him well!) but rather we must TAKE THE TIME to actually cultivate a deep relationship with Him. Going deep with Christ means allowing Him to enter in and sort things out in our sick, deceptive hearts. It means confessing sin and repenting and choosing to do what He says we must do to enjoy Him fully. It means being open, honest, vulnerable and exposed to Him (not as easy as it sounds!). As we spend time with Him we can write letters to Him and sing songs to Him and speak to Him, but we must also take the time to LISTEN. Ultimately, we are aiming for an intimacy that we know is possible, because we see that He commands it in His Word (John 15 for example). We also have biblical examples of fallen people who enjoyed intimacy with God (Genesis 5:22-24; Exodus 33:11; Psalm 42 for starters) and also historical examples of people (weak and small like us) who enjoyed a thriving intimacy as well (see link below for one that comes to mind).

link to article about Sarah Edwards

I have often heard myself talk about the “relationship” I am in with Jesus. And yet, since He is invisible, it is so tempting to put that relationship last. Am I really in a relationship with Jesus Christ? Did I really sign up for a relationship that will cost me everything, including control? Am I still committed to a relationship that must have FIRST PLACE in my heart and life? YES! Okay then – I really need Him to enable me each day to keep Him there, in FIRST PLACE. Do you know one thing that helps me to do just that? Seeing other believers who fight to keep Jesus in the number one place in their own hearts and lives. We’ve all only got one life to live, and we’ve only got one life to give. Let’s give it all to Jesus for He is worthy.

And never fear Christian leader! As you follow Him look what He promises you!

“And the Lord will continually guide you, and satisfy your desire in scorched places, and give strength to your bones; and you will be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water whose waters do not fail.” (Isaiah 58:11)

And isn’t this what we’ve been looking for all along?
Blessings! Miss Kim

Homework:
For the group that met last Saturday – here are the homework assignments we discussed! Please remember to get a journal devoted to our meeting times, and record your discoveries to share next time we get together…

1. Ask yourself the question: Am I following Christ? If so, in what ways?
Keep a journal record so that you can share together the next time some new ways you began to follow Christ and/or ways you noticed you were already following Christ.

2. As I go through life, am I living in my power or the power of the Holy Spirit? How can I tell the difference? If the Holy Spirit left me, how would I know? In what ways did I grow in my dependence on the Holy Spirit in these days? Come prepared to discuss next meeting.

3. Do your people ministry target that we discussed. Remember to put people on the target whom you know are in your life, and place them as close to your heart (nearer to the center of the target) or farther away from your heart (further out on the outer rims). Come prepared to discuss the people you believe God may be calling you to minister to in some specific ways. You may also want to come prepared to share what you discovered by doing this exercise.

4. Read through Second Timothy at least three times and jot down any notes you have. YOU WILL HAVE TO TURN SOME OF THIS HOMEWORK IN – and don’t make me give you detention and make you eat leftover donuts because you didn’t do any of this! But seriously go for it – I just know you’ll be blessed because He is so glorious.

That’s it! If I gave you other assignments that you remember, you may do those also, but don’t get bogged down or overloaded! I was a bit on fire this past Saturday – so you understand! Really enjoyed our time together and look forward to the next one! Much
love in Christ, Miss Kim

P.S. If you missed the in-person meeting – please come to the next one – or also feel free to keep up with us through the blog – just let us know who you are and how it’s going!

Scripture quotations taken from the New American Standard Bible®,Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973,1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)

Breaking the Silence

2008-07-08T09:35:00.000-04:00

“Sing to the LORD a new song; sing to the LORD, all the earth. Sing to the LORD, bless His name; Proclaim good tidings of His salvation from day to day. Tell of His glory among the nations, His wonderful deeds among all the peoples.” (Psalm 96:1-3)

It’s my hope this article will…

1. Help you consider whether or not you are keeping silent when you should be proclaiming something glorious about Christ.

2. Inspire you to step out of the shadows and speak out about the glory of Christ!

Why Should I Speak Out About Jesus Christ?
God wants us to proclaim the wondrous things He has done in our lives, because He is worthy, because it is good for our souls, and because it is how He has ordained faith to grow (by “hearing” words of Jesus Christ).

Has God done a work in your life? Has He given you something (even something small) to share about Him with others? You simply must share it!! “But I’m not skilled!” You say. But you must share it, even if you are unskilled (like Moses was in Exodus 6:12). “But I’m unknown!” you say, but you must share it, even if you are a “nobody” (like Mary was in Luke 1:46-55). “But I’m not a good speaker!” you say, but you must speak out about this, even if you are not as good at public speaking (like Paul in 2 Cor. 11:6). “But I’ve made some huge mistakes in my past!” you say, but you simply must proclaim Him as glorious, even if you’ve made huge mistakes in your past, (like David had in Psalm 32). All of us are called to proclaim Christ as glorious, no excuses, no exceptions. And there are many ways to do it, but only so many days to do it in! And if we listen to ourselves or Satan instead of God, the stones will enjoy the blessing of praising God instead of us…

“But Jesus answered, "I tell you, if these become silent, the stones will cry out!” (Luke 19:40)

And even though you know these things, you have been keeping quiet in Bible study, or at lunch with your friends, or at the water cooler, or with your neighbors. There seems to be invisible tape over your mouth when it comes to sharing about what Jesus means to you – but why? Is there sinful rebellion in your heart that is keeping you silent? Okay – you have a legitimate reason for keeping quiet until you and Jesus have resolved that issue. But if that’s not it, what is it? Is it possible you have begun to believe one of the four “Ministry Myths” that people use as internal excuses for keeping silent about the glories of Christ? Maybe it will help you to consider whether or not one of these lies has been cunningly implanted in your brain, keeping you quiet about the most important and glorious thing in your life…

Myth #1: “I don’t want to talk publicly about Christ until I know the Bible well enough.”

The fact is, you will never know the Bible well enough to FEEL like you know it well enough. The question is: Do you believe God’s Word is sufficient? Inspired? Do you have faith in the Author as the One with all the answers? Only the Holy Spirit can do those things in your life, and THOSE are the things God wants you to share with others. Heart-burning FAITH that inspires, motivates and causes people to fall face first in loving worship of a holy, awesome God. That doesn’t mean you pretend to have that heart-burning faith if you really don’t – but if you have it (even a little bit!), you really should be sharing it with others! What have you found glorious about Jesus in His Word lately? Share that at breakfast. In what ways did God answer prayer this week? Share that at lunch. When was your heart drawn to Christ most acutely? Speak of these things to the people that you care about. Of course all this praising of God and public enjoyment of Him doesn’t mean you stop seeking to privately know Him and His Word better and better - but it does mean that WHILE you are on that journey, you are proclaiming Him as great every step of the way. If you are in a saving relationship with Jesus Christ, you are being transformed “from glory to glory” (2 Cor. 3:18). That means you have “glory” in your relationship with Christ RIGHT NOW that you can share with others. When was the last time you enjoyed the glory of your relationship with Him? Today would be a good day to start.

And for some of us, it comes down to being afraid that if we put ourselves “out there” (or in other words, open our mouths and publicly proclaim something glorious about God), that we might be asked a spiritual question we can’t answer and then everything we just said will be discounted because we didn’t know the answer right then and there. As if anyone who speaks openly about the greatness of God now suddenly must have all the answers to all the questions about the Bible, God, life and the church. And while that is certainly not true, it might further encourage you to consider the different types of people that may ask you questions, and some Christ-like ways of responding to them…

People who ask questions with wrong motives…
I am sad to say there actually are people out there who may hear you proclaiming good things about God and for whatever reason decide to try to humiliate you and/or discount what you have said about God. And while this is definitely an unpleasant experience, (and hopefully not the norm!) it can actually work for your good by increasing your intimacy with Christ (instead of keeping you silent about Him). If this ever happens to you, remember that Jesus Himself experienced this constantly while on earth (Isaiah 53:3). Remembering this can help you experience your intimacy with Christ more deeply, because now you understand more intimately some of what He went through to save you, and a little bit of how it felt. And you can tell Him how understanding it makes you love Him even more than you did before, and loving Him more makes you want to serve and glorify Him more, no matter what it costs you personally. You can pour out the hurts at His feet, refusing to become bitter or afraid, and seeking Him for the ability to love your enemies and pray for those who hurt you. And by pouring out the hurts at His feet and finding Him able to take those hurts away, it increases your love for Him and your need for a close walk with Him, and also your faith in Him to do just what He’s been telling you He is able to do all along! So you see - the people who set out to hurt you and silence you only succeeded in increasing your intimacy with Christ – YAY! Perhaps this verse will also encourage you: David meets some people trying to publicly humiliate him, but he ends by affirming the importance of proclaiming God’s goodness anyway!

“Let those be ashamed and humiliated together who seek my life to destroy it; Let those be turned back and dishonored who delight in my hurt. Let those be appalled because of their shame who say to me, "Aha, aha!" Let all who seek You rejoice and be glad in You; Let those who love Your salvation say continually, “The LORD be magnified!” (Psalm 40:14-16)

People who ask questions with good motives...
It’s more likely (and perhaps more scary for some of us) that you will have genuine believers who hear you saying glorious things about God, and so they come over and ask you something that is important to them – a good question with good motives – and you have no idea how to respond. And in that case you have the freedom (and the humility) to say: “Wow – that is a really good question and I know God’s Word has something to say about that, I’m just not exactly sure where. Can I take tomorrow to look for the answer and get back to you?” And do we believe that God is able to supernaturally give us answers that we didn’t “study” for anyway? If God wants the question answered through you right then and there, He is certainly able to do so, whether or not your brain held the info – just like He did for His disciples when He said…

“When they bring you before the synagogues and the rulers and the authorities, do not worry about how or what you are to speak in your defense, or what you are to say; for the Holy Spirit will teach you in that very hour what you ought to say.” (Luke 12:11-12)

Sometimes God has a good reason for leaving you with a big blank inside your head – the question is, can you trust Him?

Who Am I Trusting In Anyway?
When my confidence is truly in God and His Word and the Holy Spirit’s ability (and desire) to lovingly change and help people, I won’t get so freaked out when my own abilities seem to disappoint others (or even myself!). If I succeed in meeting everyone’s expectations, I have only succeeded in helping everyone to find ME faithful – and I thought I was supposed to be helping them find HIM faithful! People don’t need me - they need Christ. The best thing I can possibly do for them is point them to Him, and sometimes I do that by falling short. Sometimes my failure is actually the best thing I could have done for them!

And one more thing – did you know that true servants of Christ are SUPPOSED to feel inadequate! ALL THE TIME! I guess we should get used to that feeling. There should always be that urgent cry in our hearts for Christ to show up, equip, lead, guide, convict, inspire, help, sustain, protect, give insight, speak, and keep us from stumbling, every day, even after years of fruitful ministry. There should be this sense of: “If God doesn’t show up today, I’m sunk.” ALL THE TIME! The day we stop being passionate about the Holy Spirit being present in and through everything we do in ministry is the day our ministry efforts will come to nothing. BEWARE of ministry efforts that are based on human personalities, powers and talents. The pressure you feel to live up to those human standards (or to submit to their powers of persuasion) are only the beginning of something disastrously meaningless down the road!

“I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5)

Myth #2: “I don’t want to start sharing what God has done in my life until my life more perfectly reflects Christ.”

Again, you will never FEEL like you are “Christ-like” enough, because you will never BE Christ-like enough until you are dead and glorified. Now of course there are biblical requirements for certain types of ministry (see Galatians 6:1-5 for example) but many hold themselves back even from speaking out about the glories of Christ because they are waiting until they feel as though they have finally arrived at some level of spiritual maturity that is most likely a human standard based on someone else in their own church that everyone looks up to. It’s like they are saying to themselves: “Once my walk with Christ looks like their walk with Christ, THEN I will start speaking out about the glories of Jesus publicly.” What’s really going on here? Could it be that human approval has somehow taken precedence in our hearts? Is it possible that we are seeking some kind of “spiritual status” in order to avoid painful criticisms? It might help to look at Paul’s life – someone who should have been beyond the bounds of hurtful gossip. But despite his amazing track record, sacrifices, Bible knowledge and even miraculous experiences, he was constantly misunderstood, mischaracterized, criticized and even stoned a couple times! Look at this paragraph describing the “glories” of his ministry career…

“giving no cause for offense in anything, so that the ministry will not be discredited, but in everything commending ourselves as servants of God, in much endurance, in afflictions, in hardships, in distresses, in beatings, in imprisonments, in tumults, in labors, in sleeplessness, in hunger, in purity, in knowledge, in patience, in kindness, in the Holy Spirit, in genuine love, in the word of truth, in the power of God; by the weapons of righteousness for the right hand and the left, by glory and dishonor, by evil report and good report; regarded as deceivers and yet true; as unknown yet well-known, as dying yet behold, we live; as punished yet not put to death, as sorrowful yet always rejoicing, as poor yet making many rich, as having nothing yet possessing all things.” (2 Cor. 6:3-10)

When I feel anxious before sharing something glorious about Christ, something I am certain He has called me to share, sometimes it helps me to ask myself this question…

“Am I more concerned about my glory or God’s? Is my anxiety about my glory or God’s? Will I be okay with sharing even if they throw stones at me when I’m done, as long as I know that God was glorified even in some small way?”

We’ve all fallen into this trap before – the trap of trying to be a mini god as we serve Him, seeking to gain some glory for ourselves from the people around us. But God lovingly tells us in James 4:10 that if we will humble ourselves, He will exalt us in due time. And that doesn’t mean talking “bad” about yourself publicly or refusing to allow people to encourage you by saying you did a good job either (both of those actions actually put MORE focus on you, not less!). But what it does mean is being content with being forgotten altogether by people (but never by God!), as long as God was glorified, even in some small way.

And don’t worry about whether or not He will be glorified by your little efforts – He is able to glorify Himself through the most unworthy creature! I only need to be willing to be used by Him, whatever that looks like, and careful not to try to steal some of the glory for myself – especially since He says…

"I am the LORD, that is My name; I will not give My glory to another, nor My praise to graven images." (Isaiah 42:8)

In ministry that pleases Jesus, they forget all about you and only see Him. They (hopefully) see Christ and find Him glorious, and then attribute your great one-liners (or ideas, or programs or articles) to someone else. But isn’t that what we said we wanted when we entered into this relationship with Christ? For God to get all the glory? For Him to become more and for us to become less (John 3:30)? For Him to be seen and enjoyed as great while we are thought of as puny and insignificant or hopefully not thought about at all?

Myth #3: If I get up and share my heart, I might do something embarrassing, and my world will implode.

Are you willing to glorify God no matter what it costs you? What if He has given you something special to share, and you go and share it, and it comes out all wrong, and everyone thinks you stink – but beforehand you knew God wanted you to share it, you prepared to share it as best you could, and you stepped out in obedience to share it for God’s glory and not your own. What if your “failure” was all part of His plan? What if His plan to have you share that night was mostly about some poor soul in the audience who needed to watch someone really “blow it” so that she would say to herself: “Well gee, I think I could do better than that at least!” and next week she agrees to share her testimony, because your horribly unskilled (but Spirit inspired!) talk helped her to realize that you don’t have to be a perfect public speaker to say something about Jesus. And furthermore, the fact that you were able to proclaim Him as glorious despite your sputterings and mutterings inspired her in a way she can’t even articulate (because it was supernatural!!). What if that’s how God has decided to use you? (He has used me in this way MANY times!!) Are you willing to be a fool for the sake of others? For the sake of Christ? I really hope so. Plus being used like this is painfully glorious, and really good for your humility growth (like I always say: “Just one more notch in my humility belt!”)

Myth #4: There are so many other people in the church that are better at this than I am. I’ll keep quiet and let them do all the sharing, or leading, or ministry.

I think the best answer to this myth is one of my favorite Bible verses…

“but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong, and the base things of the world and the despised God has chosen, the things that are not, so that He may nullify the things that are, so that no man may boast before God.” (1 Corinthians 1:27-29)

There are times when I’ve been bored to tears by some pretty talented, “powerful” speakers, and then there are times when I’ve been absolutely captivated by some pretty unskilled ones. What’s the difference? The Holy Spirit! The Power! JESUS! Who wants to hear a wonderful talk with no power? Who wants to waste time listening to blah, blah, blah and NO JESUS! Haven’t we heard enough of “people talk”? Just give me Jesus! I need more of JESUS! I want to go where He is talking – not just another person waxing eloquent.

Do you really want Jesus Christ glorified no matter what? Then what are you waiting for? Like I said before, there are biblical reasons for staying silent that relate to sin issues (see Psalm 32), and we must truly have a relationship with Christ to speak to others about it, but if you are waiting until you feel skilled enough or good enough or until you can be certain to secure enough people praise for yourself to make you feel like you are worthy, you’re following the wrong savior!

Of course we do all we can to be clear, careful and Christ-centered when we share – but more importantly, we must be actually empowered by Christ! We must be actually LED by HIM! And remember – it’s not the applause of the crowd or pats on the back that confirm whether or not you were used by God – He HIMSELF will confirm the work of your hands…

“Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us; And confirm for us the work of our hands; Yes, confirm the work of our hands.” (Psalm 90:17)

So what will it be? Are you going to share with others what He has done in your life, or will you let the rocks cry out instead? (Luke 19:40). Perhaps you really aren’t the most skilled speaker or hostess or teacher or discipler, but has God done a work in your life (even if it is a little work – it’s still a work GOD!)? Can you lay that desire you have for being viewed as the ideal woman (or man, or speaker, or bible study leader) at the foot of the cross for Him to use as He pleases? Are you desperate to proclaim Him as great, even if that proclamation leaves you looking sorta puny? Or unskilled? Or even boring? Are you really okay with being the weak thing He uses? If not, tell Him all about it and give Him a chance to help you have the courage to open your mouth and proclaim His greatness, no matter what the personal cost to you may be. Let this be your prayer…

“O Lord, open my lips, that my mouth may declare Your praise.” (Psalm 51:15)

Love always, Miss Kim

Scripture quotations taken from the New American Standard Bible®,Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973,1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)

Judge Yourself

2008-06-30T17:35:00.000-04:00

It’s my hope this article will…

1. Help you with your ability to spiritually evaluate
(sometimes called “judging”).

2. Understand your biblical call to evaluate.

3. Help you avoid the false idea that all “judging”
(or evaluation) is “bad.”

4. Help you to see and avoid hypocrital judgmentalism.

Are we really supposed to “judge” at all? Yes. Despite popular opinion to the contrary, Jesus expects us to make definitive,
spiritually discerning, biblically informed judgments about many things involving ourselves and yes, even involving others. Here are some examples of the Bible telling us to make judgments and explaining how to make those judgments…

Judge between dogs and non-dogs, swine and non-swine
“Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.” (Matthew 7:6)

This was the verse that first blew me away when I was considering what God actually has to say about judging. The command to not give certain things to “dogs” and “swine” presupposes that we are able to judge between who is a “dog” and “swine” and who is not. WOW! That’s when I started to take a closer look…

Judge between false prophets and true prophets
We are not only told to discern between false and true prophets, we are given a way to make the judgment.

“Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes nor figs from thistles, are they? So every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot produce bad fruit, nor can a bad tree produce good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. So then, you will know them by their fruits.” (Matthew 7:15-20)

Judge between right and wrong
Jesus makes an urgent appeal, saying that we can predict the weather, and so we should certainly be able to make judgments between right and wrong…

“You hypocrites! You know how to analyze the appearance of the earth and the sky, but why do you not analyze this present time? And why do you not even on your own initiative judge what is right?” (Luke 12:57)

Judge between teachers you should follow and teachers you should not follow
Paul makes an argument over whether or not the people should judge him as a leader worthy to be followed and why…

“For you yourselves know how you ought to follow our example, because we did not act in an undisciplined manner among you, nor did we eat anyone's bread without paying for it, but with labor and hardship we kept working night and day so that we would not be a burden to any of you; not because we do not have the right to this, but in order to offer ourselves as a model for you, so that you would follow our example.” (2 Thess. 3:7-9)

Judge the outcome of the conduct of your leaders before you follow them
We are never to follow someone without first considering their lives. Walk must match talk, and to determine that requires biblically discerning judgment.

“Remember those who led you, who spoke the word of God to you; and considering the result of their conduct, imitate their faith.” (Hebrews 13:7)

NEVER JUDGE?
In today’s culture the most commonly recited verse is perhaps Matthew 7:1, “Do not judge so that you will not be judged.” But when read in the context of Matthew 7:1-5, you quickly realize this verse is NOT about never judging, but rather a command to never judge others by a standard you are not willing to place upon yourself, in addition to a call to be GOOD at judging others, which begins by being good at judging yourself…

“Do not judge so that you will not be judged.” (Matthew 7:1)
The “judgment” here is talking about being judged or disciplined by the Lord because we wrongly and hurtfully judged another person without first judging ourselves rightly. (See 1 Cor. 11:31-32)

“For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you.” (Matthew 7:2)
Clearly it is possible to have a corrupt “standard of measure” that we would not want applied to ourselves, but that is easy for us to apply to others. That’s what’s being talked about here. What’s the pure standard of measure? Jesus Christ.

“Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.” (Matthew 7:3-5)
Jesus wants us to be lovingly able to remove specks out of the eyes of our brothers and sisters in Christ, and to help them before those specks become seriously detrimental logs. BUT – if we are truly serious about being helpful in that process, there are steps to be taken…

1. SEE the logs that have been or are in your own eyes. Confess them, repent of them.
2. CONSIDER limiting ministry to others until certain logs are removed.
3. SEEK help in removing logs – from Jesus and other believers who’ve had logs removed in their own lives.

The “logs” are those willful sins of rebellion (not struggle) that we don’t want others to touch. The “specks” are those sins in all of our lives that we struggle with every day, hoping to become more and more like Jesus, but needing help, and wanting help.

You know you have a log if there is any “untouchable” area in your life that when someone gets close to it, you go ballistic. They are those sin issues that you have been unwilling to consider for years, and while you weren’t looking they grew into giant trees hanging out of your eyes.

It’s such a funny (and sad) picture that Jesus uses here – and so true for all of us. We become so accustomed to the logs we’ve been nurturing (in our eyes I might add) that we don’t even notice them anymore, but others do. And if we only asked for their input…but of course we don’t, because deep down we know the log is there, and we are afraid they might point it out, and if they point it out we might have to get a chainsaw out or something, and somehow we’ve convinced ourselves that we can’t live without the log hanging out of our eye.

And then this is the kicker – this is what I think Jesus is specifically addressing here. We can become so serious about keeping that log in place that it actually makes us feel better to see other believers struggling with specks, and so we point out the specks (with the attitude of: “Well, at least I don’t have THAT speck in MY eye.”), or even attempt to help them with their specks – all for the purpose of keeping our own log in place – the height of hypocrisy! And Jesus exposes it so clearly in this text. Such a great reminder of how deceptive sin can be.

Not convinced yet? Here are some other texts to consider…

Judge your own life and teachings so that the gospel will be clear in your life
“Pay close attention to yourself and to your teaching; persevere in these things, for as you do this you will ensure salvation both for yourself and for those who hear you.” (1Tim. 4:16)

Judge yourself in order to avoid unnecessary discipline from God
“But if we judged ourselves rightly, we would not be judged. But when we are judged, we are disciplined by the Lord so that we will not be condemned along with the world.” (1 Corinthians 11:31-32)

Judge for yourself as to whether or not it is time for you to mature in Christ
“Therefore leaving the elementary teaching about the Christ, let us press on to maturity, not laying again a foundation of repentance from dead works and of faith toward God,”
(Hebrews 6:1)

Judge yourself ready (or not) for “solid food”
“For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you have need again for someone to teach you the elementary principles of the oracles of God, and you have come to need milk and not solid food. For everyone who partakes only of milk is not accustomed to the word of righteousness, for he is an infant. But solid food is for the mature, who because of practice have their senses trained to discern good and evil.” (Heb. 5:12-14)

What’s the Point?
We are commanded to judge ourselves and others rightly, for the good of the body of Christ and for the glory of God. Avoiding the important responsibility of judging is spiritual neglect, and the consequences are disastrous. Why do we find such a lack of discernment among believers? Why so many disastrous decisions being made? Because in response to the mood of our culture, the baby got thrown out with the bathwater. The “baby” of biblically discerning judgment got thrown out with the bathwater of hypocrital judgmentalism – the very thing Jesus so clearly and carefully preached against! We need to train ourselves and others to be bold, biblical and Christ-like in our judgments, and to be that way in order to bless others and glorify Christ.

And here’s another important thing to consider – as you biblically judge yourself, the next step is to minister to others. If you are not ready, you must move toward becoming ready (don’t run away – just get out the chainsaw! We’ve ALL been there.)

Remember, we have been bought with a price (1 Cor. 6:20), and so we must do all that we can to “make ourselves ready” to be used by God for His glory while on this earth.

“Let us rejoice and be glad and give the glory to Him, for the marriage of the Lamb has come and His bride has made herself ready. It was given to her to clothe herself in fine linen, bright and clean; for the fine linen is the righteous acts of the saints.” (Revelation 19:6-8)

Scripture quotations taken from the New American Standard Bible®,Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973,1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)

Sharing Your Testimony

2008-06-26T08:41:00.000-04:00

How “ready” are you to share what Jesus Christ means to you? Could you share it right now? Could you cover the important parts in 10 seconds? 60 seconds? 10 minutes? Does your testimony clearly explain the gospel message? Does it serve as an invitation to talk more in depth about Jesus Christ? Being prepared to share your story can make the difference between a conversation that goes nowhere, and a conversation that leads another person to Christ. And you never know where or when your next opportunity to share Christ will arise!

I remember a time when I was getting my hair cut in a busy upscale salon in the Philadelphia area. I had been telling my hairstylist a little about my life when she abruptly asked me: “So what exactly is a born again Christian?” Just then she started blowing my hair dry with what I believe was the loudest hair dryer on earth. From then on it was me, shouting out parts of my testimony and the gospel at the top of my lungs while she listened intently, blowing my hair dry all the while. A couple of times I paused just out of sheer exhaustion, at which point she would ask something like: “But why did Jesus die?” and I’d be back at it, yelling out my best answers while at least 10 other customers and staff members stared at us aghast. One even covered her ears because I was yelling so loud – but my hairstylist didn’t seem to notice, and I figured if she didn’t care I didn’t either! Being prepared in that situation helped me to have the courage I needed to go outside my comfort zone and literally proclaim Christ to everyone within earshot.

Another time the Lord had me on a five hour flight to California. They had just closed the doors and I was a little disappointed that the seat beside me was empty. Suddenly, a shadow fell over me and when I looked up, there was a huge red-headed man in a Hell’s Angel jacket preparing to sit beside me. “Hello Red,” he said in the deepest voice I had ever heard. We had to lift the arm bar between us just to make it bearable for him. So with one of his elbows virtually in my neck, the Lord used my little story to open doors in our conversation that led all the way to the Cross. Thank goodness the Lord had previously led me to be prepared – otherwise I might have been stunned into silence by the jacket and the elbow. But that’s the way the Lord works – isn’t it? If we will prepare just a little bit, He will bring people from the ends of the earth to hear His voice through our little hearts and mouths.

I thought the following article from Navigators had some good reminders for anyone wanting to improve their ability to talk freely about Jesus. I suggest you read it and also work on writing out at least two versions (a 60 second and 10 minute version) of how you met Christ and what your life has been like since meeting Him. Even if you are an old pro at sharing your story – writing it out is essential in preparing for any and every circumstance the Lord may ordain. Once you get your final version(s) written or typed out – make some copies and take them with you wherever you go. Never underestimate the power of preparation! The time you take today could make an eternal difference tomorrow – and who knows what (or who) tomorrow may bring your way!

Blessings!
Miss Kim

Issue #60 November/December 1990

"Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have." —1 Peter 3:15

One of the most effective tools you have for sharing your faith is the story of how Jesus Christ gave you eternal life and how He has enriched your life. The Apostle John wrote, "We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard" (1 Jn. 1:3), testifying about his relationship to Jesus Christ.
When the Apostle Paul stood before King Agrippa (Acts 26), he spoke simply, logically, and clearly about his life before salvation, how he met Christ, and what his life was like after conversion. Paul's testimony takes three or four minutes to read aloud in a conversational manner.

By following the steps outlined in this article, you will learn how to tell others in the same manner about how you came to know Christ. The choice of the right words, the flow of your story, and knowing how to begin and how to end are all important.

Testimonies can be prepared on many subjects and tailored to various audiences. The kind of testimony outlined here is designed to give to a nonChristian. It will be best suited for sharing one-on-one or in a small group.

The purpose of preparing a testimony is not to memorize it and give it verbatim, but to help you put into words some of the important and interesting details of your conversion. A testimony serves primarily as a "door opener," not a "convincing tool." Many people are not ready to be convinced that they need Christ, but can often be led to talk about the gospel after hearing a personal testimony.

BEFORE, HOW, AND AFTER

Paul's testimony in Acts 26 is a biblical model you can follow in writing your own personal testimony. Paul's format in Acts 26 is:

Lead-In — Verses 2–3

Before — Verses 4–11

How — Verses 12–20

After — Verses 21–23

Close — Verses 24–29

Here are practical suggestions for developing the before, how, and after sections in your personal testimony.

1. Before:

a. Many people's actions spring out of their unsatisfied deep inner needs. What were one or two of your unsatisfied deep inner needs before you came to know Jesus Christ? Some examples of inner needs are:

_ lack of peace
_ fear of death
_ something missing
_ no meaning to life
_ desire to be in control
_ loneliness
_ lack of security
_ lack of purpose
_ lack of significance
_ no real friends
_ no motivation

b. NonChristians are usually trying to satisfy their deep inner needs through unsatisfactory solutions. In the past, what unsatisfactory solutions did you use to attempt to meet those deep inner needs? As you develop your testimony, list positive as well as negative solutions you may have tried. Some examples are:

_ marriage/family
_ work
_ drugs/alcohol
_ sports/fitness
_ money
_ education
_ hobbies/entertainment
_ sex
_ wrong friends

2. How:

a. Describe the circumstances that caused you to consider Christ as the solution to your deep inner needs. Identify the events that led to your conversion. In some cases this may have taken place over a period of time.

b. State specifically the steps you took to become a Christian. If there is a particular passage of Scripture that applies here, you may want to use it. Usually you will simply paraphrase it.

c. Include the gospel clearly and briefly. The gospel includes:

• All have sinned
• Sin's penalty
• Christ paid the penalty
• Must receive Christ

3. After:

a. State how Christ filled or is filling your deep inner needs. In the before, you expressed your needs and how you tried unsuccessfully to meet them. You now want to briefly show the difference that Christ has made in your life.

b. Conclude with a statement like: "But the greatest benefit is that I know for certain that I have eternal life." The person you talk to will tend to comment on the last thing you say. Often it is natural to move from the testimony into a clear presentation of the gospel.

CHOOSE YOUR TESTIMONY FORMAT

Read the three sample testimonies in the colored boxes that follow. Then, come back and check the box beside the format that best fits your own story. You will use the Testimony Worksheet (page 68) that corresponds to this format.

Format 1: Adult Conversion
You trusted Christ as an adult. You have a distinct before, how and after.

Format 2: Early Conversion, Adult Full Commitment
You made a decision for Christ as a child, but your life was characterized by spiritual immaturity—a lifestyle similar to that of a nonChristian—until you reached a point of crisis and recommitted your life to Christ. Evaluate whether your early conversion experience was genuine. If you conclude it was not genuine, then use Format 1 as your model.

Format 3: Early Conversion, Consistent Growth
You probably grew up with Christian parents and have a strong church background. You may have very little before.

WRITE OUT YOUR TESTIMONY

The Testimony Worksheets provide questions that will help you get started in writing out your testimony. Select the appropriate worksheet and jot down thoughts for each question on a separate piece of paper. This will give you a basis from which to write sentences and paragraphs about your own experience.

RELIGIOUS WORDS POSSIBLE SUBSTITUTES

Believe/Accepted Trusted or relied
Christ for my salvation on Christ
Sin Disobedience, breaking God's laws, turned my back on God
Went forward Decided to turn my life over to God
Under the blood God forgave the wrongs I had done
Saved/Born Again Became a real Christian
Christian Committed Christian, real Christian

As you write your first draft, refer again to the sample testimony that is most like your own story. Note how the person began the testimony and how he or she made the transitions between the main points. In addition, follow these guidelines:

1. Make it sound conversational. Avoid literary sounding statements. Use informal language.

2. Share about what happened to you, don't preach about what should happen to them. Say "I" and "me," not "you." This helps keep the testimony warm and personal.

3. Avoid religious words, phrases, and jargon. (See chart on page 66.) Don't assume the listener knows what you mean by terms such as sin, accepted Christ, or even Christian.

4. Generalize so more people can identify with your story. Don't name specific churches, denominations, or groups. Avoid using dates and ages.

5. Include some humor and human interest. When a person smiles or laughs, it reduces tension. Humor is disarming and increases attention.

6. One or two word pictures increase interest. Don't just say, "Bill shared the gospel with me." You might briefly describe the setting so a person listening can visualize it.

7. Explain how Christ met or is meeting your deep inner needs, but do not communicate that all your struggles and problems ended at conversion.

8. Sound adult, not juvenile. Reflect an adult point of view even if you were converted at an early age.

9. Avoid dogmatic and mystical statements that skeptics can question, such as, "I prayed and God gave me a job," or "God said to me."

10. Simplify—reduce "clutter."
Mention a limited number of people and use only their first or last names. Combine information when you can.

a. Poor: "Martha Smith, Nancy Van Buren, and her cousin Jane Matthews came by my office at Digital Binary Components Corporation . . ."

b. Good: "Martha and two other friends talked with me at work one day . . ."

c. Good: "After living in five states and attending six universities, I finally graduated and got an engineering job."

PRACTICING YOUR TESTIMONY

After you have written out your testimony, you may want to have another Christian read it and make suggestions for improvement. Ask them to point out any areas that you need to explain further and to make sure the gospel is presented clearly. Then, when you have a final draft that you like, outline your testimony on a 3" x 5" card. Practice giving your testimony to a friend in four minutes or less. Sharing your testimony with your small group would also be an excellent opportunity to practice and receive feedback.

LEADING INTO YOUR TESTIMONY

When you feel comfortable giving your testimony, you may begin to wonder, "When do I share it with a nonChristian?" "How do I direct the conversation so it will lead to presenting my testimony?" You may find the following suggestions helpful.

1. Include some "small talk" before discussing spiritual matters. Discuss family, job, hobbies, interests, etc.

2. Be alert for expressed needs such as family problems or stress on the job. You can use these to show how Christ has helped you through some of the same areas.

3. Discuss past concerns and needs in your life. "We used to struggle in our marriage relationship," or, "I used to allow the pressures at work to get to me." "Then I discovered something that made a tremendous difference in my life."

4. Discuss contemporary situations in the news or in your area. "I saw on TV that drugs are epidemic in our country. It seems that people are trying to find something that satisfies so they are turning to drugs. These same people are saying it does not work."

5. Build relationships with them. It may take ten minutes or ten hours or ten days or ten months—but build relationships.

6. Don't condemn them for living like nonChristians, they are nonChristians. Your objective is to share how they can have a better life in Christ.

7. Avoid dogmatic "religious" statements. "Jesus is the answer to all your problems." He is, but they don't even know who He is, much less what He can do in their lives.

8. Avoid arguments on moral issues. You can expect nonChristians to have conflicts with clear biblical teaching. Remember they do not have a valid base from which to make correct moral decisions.

THE CLOSE

When you have shared your personal testimony, you may want to conclude with a statement that causes the person to reflect on what you have just shared. What you say will depend on how this person has been responding to what you have shared. If their response seems positive you could say something like:

1. "Bill, has anything like this ever happened to you?"

2. "Mary, do you know for certain whether you have eternal life?"

3. "Do you have any idea what eternal life is?"

4. "May I share with you some day how I know for certain that I have eternal life?"

5. "May I share an illustration with you that explains how a person can know for certain that he has eternal life?"

If their response seems negative or neutral you could say something like:

1. "If you are interested I would like to share more with you sometime."

2. "Do you have any questions on what I have just shared with you?"

3. "Well, that is what happened to me. If you ever want to talk about it any further, I would love to do so."

Excerpted from The 2:7 Series by permission of The Navigators Church Discipleship Ministry. Copyright © 1999. All Rights Reserved. To purchase the series, visit www.navpress.com or call 1-800-366-7788.

For more information, visit The Navigators website at www.navigators.org/cdm.

Winters Family Update Part II

2008-05-28T06:07:00.002-04:00

Meet the newest members of the Winters’ household, Peter and Benjamin! Saved from a killer pack of crows that killed the rest of their family (if I didn’t hate crows before, I do now). I was in traffic at the time of the bunny massacre, got out of my car and did hand to hand with these horrifying chicken-sized crows (they seriously had thigh meat on them). Benjamin had his eye partially pecked out (did I mention how gross crows are?) but I am happy to report he is making a full recovery!

In other news, Nate continues to love the ministry at West Shore, Kim's job at Indiana University of Pennsylvania is going well, Nate’s sister is getting married to a great guy, and – oh yeah, our home has not yet sold in the Adirondacks, so we are in our 2 bedroom apartment still (9 months and counting!) Some days this experience is like a refining fire and other days it’s more like being pecked to death by chicken crows (not really that bad! : ). Thank you so much for those of you out there (and we know there are many) still praying for our situation. The Lord has provided thus far, and we know He will continue to provide for us in amazing ways. We know this because He is so good, and also because He has said…

“And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 4:19)

And just like the bunnies were unexpectedly delivered, we look forward to His marvelous provision for our family. Hasn’t He also said…

“Are not two sparrows sold for a cent? And yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows.” (Matthew 10:29-31)

We love you all! Thank you so much for all your prayers, support and friendship through it all!

Much love in Christ,

The Winters Family
Scripture quotations taken from the New American Standard Bible®,Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973,1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)